FUTURE SEX LOVE ART PROJEKT · FILM 218 OF 250
FILM NO. 218
FEELOSOPHY
‘FEELOSOPHY’ is Missy Jubilee’s 218th film in the 250 film Future Sex Love Art Projekt. It is a film about the weirdness of intimacy
About Feelosophy Feelosophy is Missy Jubilee's 218th film in The Future Sex Love Art Projekt, released in 2024. Feelosophy: Missy Jubilee's explicit erotic art film -- the philosophy of feeling, female desire as the only epistemology that is truly worth trusting.
Within the wider project, Feelosophy contributes to Missy Jubilee's ongoing inquiry into desire, the body, performance and the explicit image as a serious form of art cinema.
Credits
Written, directed, edited and produced by Missy Jubilee. Produced by Appaloosa Duck. Part of The Future Sex Love Art Projekt, a 250-film series exploring intimacy, identity, and the body.
More from the Projekt
‘FEELOSOPHY’ is a film about the weirdness of intimacy, and bridging divides
Children’s book author Dr Suess once said “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love”
This film is set in 2014
It was a time of great weirdness
It was a time for decisions to be made
It was a time when I would sit and write
Write myself letters
Pages and pages
Filled
With flight
Elevations
This was my way
Of flying
This was my way
Out
To leave it all behind
Like a cheap roundabout
Oh
I felt
Such
A long
Way from
Home
Damned bridges
FEELOSOPHY
(The capacity to be weird with someone, and them be okay with that)
SCRIPT
Crescent Head Australia
3rd July 2014
(six days before my 33rd birthday)
Hope
I hope you never have to think about anything
as much as I think about everything
I’m so afraid of losing anything I love,
that I refuse to love anything
The feelings that hurt most, and the emotions that sting,
are those that are so absurd
The longing for impossible things,
precisely because they are impossible
Nostalgia for what never was
The desire for what could have been
Regret over not being someone else
Dissatisfaction with your existence in the universe
All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness
create a bumpy landscape with an eternal sunset
The only calibration that counts
is how much heart people invest in their vulnerability,
and how much they ignore their fears of being hurt
Nothing else really counts at all
Painting
Eventually everything you love
is going to be taken away
And you will fall to the floor crying
But there’s an element of the ridiculous to it
You always knew it would happen
And, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying,
you look at the place where the wall meets the floor,
and you realize you didn’t paint it very well
Duality
Marry, and you will regret it
Don’t marry, you will also regret it
Trust someone, you will regret it
Trust someone not, you will also regret it
This duality gentlemen, is why feelosophy is so weird
Life is like…
I suppose a happy life is like a pie chart
In the end, you look back on your life
and hopeully see that the largest piece of it was love
The problems, the breakups, the sadness,
those will be there too,
but just smaller slivers of tiny pieces
Unfortunately, sensitive people either love deeply,
or they regret deeply
There really is no middle ground
because they live in passionate extremes
Maybe all one can do in that situation,
is hope to end up with the right regrets
We all have that person we lost,
who we’d like to say thank you to before we die
Because then, hopefully
this thing we call an lived experience will resolve
Hope
There is a crucial age when a women begins to regret
having stayed faithful to a partner she never really loved
It is when the glowing sunset colors of her beauty
offer her one last, urgent choice
between maternal and feminine love
At such a moment
a life that seemed to have chosen its course long ago
is questioned
For that last time
the magic compass needle of the will
hovers between final resignation and hope
But hope is a mysterious arrangement
of merciless logic for a futile purpose
Then there is that awkward procedure
of getting to unknow each other
Pangs
Over the last couple of years,
the photos of me when I was a little girl…
well, they’ve started to give me pangs
Not unhappiness, exactly,
but some kind of quiet, deep regret…
I keep wanting to apologize to the little girl
‘I’m sorry, I let you down
I was the person who was supposed to look after you’
‘But I blew it’
‘I made wrong decisions at bad times,
and I turned you into me’
Mothballs
Over the years, I’ve lodged that little girl in the permanent past
I put her on ice,
stuffed her with memories and mothballs
I’d dust her off from time to time,
and then put her back on the mantelpiece
All I was likely to discover at this point,
was just how distant were the paths we’d taken
Illusions
When you start thinking about what your life was like 10 years ago,
it’s disturbing to realize how certain elements of your being
are now completely dead
They die long before you do
It’s astonishing to consider all the things from your past
that used to happen all the time
But now they never happen anymore
Or they never even cross your mind
It’s almost like those things didn’t happen
Or maybe it seems like they just happened to someone else
To someone you didn’t really know
Someone whose path crossed with yours momentarily
And now you can’t even remember their name
But I wouldn’t have missed a single minute of it
Not for the whole world
Script review
Alan Rogers on this film
Alan Rogers is The Future Sex Love Art Projekt producer based in London. He reviews each Missy Jubilee film as a working screenplay.
FEELOSOPHY Script Review
by Producer Alan Rogers in London
https://missyjubilee.com/films/218-feelosophy/
Subject: "Re: Missy Jubilee 218 FEELOSOPHY" · Sent: 8 Apr 2024
by Producer Alan Rogers in London
3rd july 2014 six days before my 33rd birthday
Makes your birthday the 9th July 1981. I had just completed my first year as an apprentice. I was a horny 18 year old knobhead back then (not much has changed but my age). It is sad, I know. But I had always assumed you were born in 1983. If that sounds like I think too much...well...
I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about everything
I think too much too. It is difficult to live in the 'Now' with so much going on. It is getting easier as I get older though... Time is a perception and a busy mind will make time go quicker. Of course(conversely) a blank mind will make time slower, but frankly what would be the point?
Im so afraid of losing anything I love that I refuse to love anything
This smacks of trauma. Some scars run emotionally deep. At first glance these words could be interpreted as cold; I believe in the underlying message is that you are wary and untrusting of emotional commitment, take from that whether your sentiment was successful.
The feelings that hurt most, and the emotions that sting, are those that are so absurd
These words feel 'wordy' to me. I think my problem with it is the word 'absurd'. I get the sentiment though. Why put yourself through pain, right? And things that hurt are stupid. But for completeness I would change the absurdity to pointlessness.
The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible
We all want what we cannot have. The grass is always greener in the next field.
Nostalgia for what never was
We all have selective memories.
The desire for what could have been
Have you seen the film 'Everything, Everywhere All at Once' yet? It is set in a multiverse where every decision forms a new universe. Of course the premise is flawed because not every decision is 50:50, but why let facts get in the way of a good narrative. I love that film by the way. The cinematography is off the charts.
Regret over not being someone else
Yes. Yes. Yes.
In the end, you look back on your life and hopefully see that the largest piece of it was love
Yes. And companionship. I think this is underrated. Love is a fickle thing, having someone at home when we open the door is a luxury. Unless you want to be alone, which happens to all of us sometimes.
The problems, the breakups, the sadness, those will be there too but just smaller slivers of tiny pieces
That is a nice thought and good analogy.
Unfortunately, sensitive people either love deeply, or they regret deeply
Hmm. I wonder what you mean. Of course I categorise myself as sensitive so can confirm. This is true.
There really is no middle ground because they live in passionate extremes
I think you will hit a few nerves here. I suspect there are many viewers of your work that live those extremes.
Maybe all one can do in that situation, is hope to end up with the right regrets
I see where you went there. You will regret. It is inevitable. So the best outcome is one with the regrets you feel most comfortable knowing.
WE ALL HAVE THAT PERSON WE LOST, WHO WE'D LIKE TO SAY THANKYOU TO BEFORE WE DIE (thank and you are separate words I think)
Life is impermanent. I am not sure what really matters when you are dead. I have thought long and hard about this, particularly as I am now on my final chapter. I have kind of stopped worrying about what people will think of me when I am dead. If I haven't thanked the right people...hopefully they won't be too pissed off at me.
Because then, hopefully this thing we call life will be at peace
I think you mean that the narrative of a life retains its character. But I may be wrong.
There is a crucial age when a woman begins to regret having stayed faithful to a partner she never really loved
Loved? What does that mean? Why stay faithful to a partner you do not love? I am lost.
It is when the glowing sunset colors of her beauty offer her one last urgent choice between maternal and feminine love
Are you talking about the ticking time bomb that is female fertility? Some terrible choices have been made when women find themselves fixated to that paradigm. But this is where a man could and should never comment...we are not born with baby making facilities and our brains are not wired that way. We just do not understand. Do not trust any man who says he does.
At such a moment a life that seemed to have chosen its course long ago is questioned
This alludes to the fates. The thought that life is in some way predetermined and that we are just passengers.
For that last time the magic compass of the will hovers between final resignation and hope
This is great writing Missy. Life without hope is empty. I am resigned to that fact.
But hope is a mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile purpose
Hope has a habit of being dashed. True.
Then there is that awkward procedure of getting to unknow each other.
Hmm. I cannot comment. I have never knowingly unknown anyone.
Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a little girl.... Well, they've started to give me little pangs
The past is past. That is both a blessing and a curse. I think you are thinking of the road you travelled on rather than the starting point.
Not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret....
I can only consider the road you have travelled from all you have written. I think you have had poetic licence to embellish that viewpoint on some occasions, and other times it is clear that you have led an interesting life. Personally, I think I would swap mine for yours. But then again. That grass does look green.
I keep wanting to apologize to the little girl 'I'm sorry, I let you down I was the person who was supposed to look after you'
But then again you owe the little girl nothing. She was you. She became you. She wanted to become you, else she would have done other things and you wouldn't exist, just another version of you somewhere in a different multiverse (we are back to Everything Everywhere All at Once again).
'but I blew it'
Au contraire. You are magnificent.
'I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me'
She made those decisions. Remember. You cannot change the past. We are products of our upbringing and the people we meet and influence us along the way.
'over the years, I have lodged that little girl in the permanent past'
I can relate to this. I have a version of me that I sometimes remember. Young innocent me. I wish I could go back in time and corrupt me completely, I would have had a far more fun life.
I put her on ice, stuffed her with memories and mothballs
If you have a sensory memory that is triggered by smell, touch, sounds, taste or vision; then you probably keep that little girl as an image on fixed photographic celluloid.
I'd dust her off from time to time, and put her back on the mantlepiece
This is more like it. A memory, the regret is something else.
All I was likely to discover at this point, was just how distant were the paths we'd taken
No. That makes no sense at all. You are comparing your real self with your alter ego that never manifested itself due to decisions your younger self made.
When you start thinking about what your life was like 10 years ago, it's disturbing to realize how certain elements of your being are now completely dead.
Your first film was release in February 2013 (according to my records). If you were born in 1981 that would have made you 32 at the time. Within the first year you released about 45 films. That was 10 years ago. But that was a different you. We all change.
They die long before you do
Agreed.
It's astonishing to consider all the things from your past that used to happen all the time
I genuinely keep thinking that my brain is full now and perhaps I should stop trying to learn things. But that is clearly a nonsense. We evolve.
But now they never happen anymore
This cuts like a knife.
Or they never even cross your mind
It is hard to picture what you are thinking about here. My first thought was sex. But that is always my first thought so I don't trust it.
It's almost like those things didn't happen
Perhaps they didn't. Or do you have photographic evidence that they did?
Or maybe it seems like they just happened to someone else
This is taking a darker turn. I felt some of your earlier confessions had a background sense of abuse that you endured and weaponised defensively.
To someone you did'nt really know
This metaphor is stretching my mind
Someone whose path crossed with yours momentarily
Erm.
And now you can't even remember their name
And. Im lost again. I appear to have gone down a completely different rabbit hole to the one you were trying to convey.
But I wouldn't have missed a single minute of it, not for the whole world.
And. You're back in the room. Jeez Missy you have loved and been loved. You have kissed and been kissed. You have fucked and been fucked. And in the end you have the talent to write philosophy, mix music and create video art. And your life and this project is not over. The best years are to come.
Thank you for making this film. I understand that I have offloaded about my own regrets lately and this is a balm that soothes that sore. I genuinely think this will hit home for a lot of people. Men and women. This is a great film.