FUTURE SEX LOVE ART PROJEKT · FILM 191 OF 250
FILM NO. 191
Film No. 191 · The Future Sex Love Art Projekt
'DOPPELGANGER' is Missy Jubilee's 191st film in 'The Future Sex Love Art Projekt'. This is a story of trying to hide behind your shadow when your uniform of respectability can't hide who you are
The writing behind the film"Censorship is the tool of those who have the need to hide actualities from themselves and from others. Their fear is only their inability to face what is real. They are appallingly sad human beings.
Somewhere in their upbringing, they were shielded from the basic facts of existence" - Charles BukowskiWhen you’re starving, even poison tastes goodThe Doppelganger's imaginary power and resonanceis dependent on the level of estrangementfrom yourself and intimacy.The Doppelganger is, and remains, a phantasybut the strength of such copies of yourselfis lost as soon as any attempt is madeto force phantasy into coherent realityThe same is true for visual seductionDiscernment has a doppelgängerand her name is revelation When your hand shakesIt is not palsy or drugs.It is your Doppelganger,emerging from youThe enemy within escaping outwardsOurs is the only period everto have sought to exorcize this phantasyThat is,to turn it into flesh and blood,to transform the operation of the doppelgangerfrom a subtle interplayinto the bland excuse for escape of repressionWe accumulate experiences during life,and we also accumulate roadblocks,in the form of an aggregate of shameYou can think of this as a False Selfwith a Counterfeit SpiritThis counterfeit self becomes your doppelgangerA thing capable of doing what you would not dare,and a way to present yourselfin a dark world of formsFor if you were to meet your total-stranger doppelganger,they would only differ from you proportionatelyThey would be braver than youMore resilient to the opinions of othersIt would be more perfect than youMore comfortable in it’s skin than youIt would be everything you aren’tIt would be like that form from which you have been fleeingA doppelganger is a husk of ectoplasm with pretensionsAnd what are you going to do?Pretend like she doesn’t exist?But she does existNot in that creepy house down the streetShe lives in youOver there,in the slums of ParadiseAnd in moments of devil may care freedomthat you give yourself free of shame,that is her surfacing to have a look aroundTo have some fun with conventionsand respectabilityYour doppelganger makes it seem as if it was a dreamBut it wasn’tWith hindsight, it seems all too realUntil the next time,and the time after thatWith a tortured tension,you become water,restlessly, violently,seeking to reach the oceanWater that does not reflectWater that is afraid to reflectA liquid nihilism,that is born in a mountain,and lost in the streamAnd if you indulge your doppelganger’s nihilism,she won’t have to force her way into your lifeShe will become youAnd then you won’t even remember who you wereHoping the uniform you now wearbecomes an imperfect methodologyto provide true anonymityfrom a multiplicity of bilateral and three-dimensional self-liesFlesh cannot reach every recess of the mindIt cannot document every emotional chord,and it cannot splice the discordant pieces within usBut a doppelganger canIt becomes responsible for the sanitized accountingof the mind’s depictionsA slick tool of modernist identity craft,making it impossible to separate the tellerfrom the tellingIt prompts problematic pairingsof algorithmic look-alikesbased on the essentialised ethicof sexual attributesThen one day,you catch yourself walking 15 paces behind your doppelgangerThe impossibility of the situationseemed like an absurd conceptthat only existed in ‘what if’ scenariosquietly played out unseen in your fear dreamsBut now your Doppelgangeris walking a divergent path of your life’s choicesAnd her success is not yoursJust remind me,what was your dream?Doppelgangers come for your soul,and stay for your leftoversThey are unburdenedby the true inertia of human natureSometimes,after a lifetime of negotiation with your doppelganger,you realise the words you could have said,or left unsaidBecause doppelgangers sip amnesia,as they change the destination of your journeyI have a doppelgangerAnd it is very realWhen I recite the rote details of my life events,it slithers further into me,and out of meEvery touch alters its truthuntil it makes me recognizableLike a whisper in a community garden,making it better to remain silent,than be seenIn film number 250,I will introduce you to my doppelgangerThe mythic will become real,and it will leave bite markson the body of truthMaybe,if I hadn’t been acting like a reverse Peeping Tom,trying to look out into the world untouched,this existential dilemma wouldn’t existIn film number 250,you will see MyselfHerselfItselfAll people deserve respectBut not all actions doI should be thankfulthat there will be only one of us left standingwhen it is all overThrough a cloud of wants and desires unfulfilled,truth is eventually bornAnd the answer to what createdthe hole she lives in,is the good gracesof unconditional ambitionthat exists at the centre of the UniverseWhere everything makes sense,because nothing is ever incompleteTo be known,despite, or because ofthe loathing and the lies that were toldis a doctrineabout a human who is not worth beingBelieving that there is somethingworth giving an unconditional fuck for,is what you choose not to do.The emotional belligerentis an intransigent itinerant,who threatens harmNo, no, noYou will not hurt meas I curl up in a circlein the cornerFrom my perch on the porch,it looks like a round white pupilstaring at its angel wingsAn eyeball watching over everythingScared.And unblinkingFeeling some kind of wonderabout what is to come.At a time not of its choosingAs if its presence explainsthe revelation itselfThe Moon is a bag of saltgathered from the sweat on slaves backs.In the morning it will be gone.Used up,in the process of creatingAnother dayAnother filmᐧWhen you are booted out,onto the face of earth,and then immediately disconnectedfrom the reality of your present,you will be forever drivingtowards a place called redemptionThen spending a lifetimetrying to get back outWas it worth it?As presence explainswhat they struggle to put into wordsWhat are they feeding on?Because I feel their hungerEven poison tastes good when you’re starvingThe poison reminds me,how they stole,every chanceto not meet compromiseA conquestfor powerwith purposeto forgetthe consequences ofa hunger that must be metTo liveis to feedon the living,then hope they forgetthey are deadAll choked up on your dreams,speaking in whispers,about how you forgot to feel,when you beat at the wallsto accumulate bruisesJustificationis when nothing is under controlChaos,is the nature of all things,with thin fine threadsof what is,and wasn’tIt is the consequence of need,to project yourself to bewho you really aren’tThe gap,and the disparity,are the stories we tell ourselvesTo fix us,and change our storyHere I amRight hereRight nowWith a basket full of blessings,taking my part,in creationWhat’s the differencebetween a parasite,and a leech?Not muchWhat’s the differencebetween a doppelgangerand Patreon, Vimeo & Squarespace?Not muchI am a dangerous person when turned loose with words - Charles Bukowski.
American poet
Written, directed, edited and produced by Missy Jubilee. Produced by Gemini Film Partners. Part of The Future Sex Love Art Projekt, a 250-film series exploring intimacy, identity, and the body.
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