Sexpionage (also known as espionage, spying or intelligence gathering) –  is the act of obtaining secret or confidential information from non-disclosed sources and divulging the same without the permission or consent of the holder of the information – for a tangible benefit.
 In times of crisis, spies steal information and knowledge to sabotage the enemy in various ways.
So there you have it.
The big reveal after 10 years of film making and 186 films is that – I am a spy.
Betcha didn’t see that coming

I work for an international organization of evil – and its mission is world domination.
KAOS was founded in 1904 in Bucharest, but is a Delaware corporation for tax purposes. By 1923 it had grown large enough to hold a convention in Atlantic City.
“KAOS” is a play on the word “chaos”, but is not an acronym.
My mother organisation of evil was first lampooned in the 1970’s television show ‘Get Smart’ – as the bumbling, fault ridden evil doppelganger to the ‘good’ intelligence agency ‘CONTROL’.
Get Smart caused our organization to be ridiculed mercilessly. We are only now starting to be regarded as a credible dangerous threat to world security.
In 2006, our dear leader, who is only known as Mr Big, and our Vice President of Public Terror – Ludwig Siegfried – set up a female only spying division called K.U.N.T – which was an an acronym for Konniving Underhanded Nasty Teasemerchants.
 They installed me in the CEO position and sent me on a mission to Australia. I cannot tell you the details of that mission. That is what the film is for. At KUNT, we do not believe in providing redundant information that duplicates other user generated content found in other forums.
But, what I can tell you about is the finer details of the renewed and revitalised KAOS that I have been working for.
In 2005, the KAOS Board of Directors decided to develop a number of specialist departments apart from KUNT – including the League of Impostors (LIMP), the Contrived Occasional Car-accident Koalition (COCK), and a specialist smuggling unit named the Association of Single Spinsters (ASS).
However, we are not all work and no play. We also have elite ice-skating troops known as the KAOScapades. This division is for ceremonial occasions only, and was developed around the Blue Hornets concept that the Air Force uses for airshows.
However, unlike KAOS, KUNT operates as a series of autonomous cells, each with its own leader and agenda. Even as one cell is destroyed, another is ready to carry out its plan, making the organization very resilient.
 The unit I have headed for the last 16 years was organised in a more business-like fashion, even some months making a profit on its operations. The concept was first suggested to the KAOS board by business mogul Leonard Ironhand. He was then given a grant to establish KUNT – and its unique blackmail formula was then formulated by scientist Nino Salvatori Sebastiani & fashion designer Norman Saint Sauvage.
Their brilliant new espionage model was to achieve world domination – by controlling the film industry – rather than world domination by political means.
So, I’ve told you about my organisation – now let me share some personal insights, and what I have learnt from 15 years of being a traitorous spy.
When we deny our faults, they define us.
So I turn toward my truth, and run headlong into it
I am my own crash test dummy
Therefore I save my company money
And I am also tax deductible
I am not a villain
But I’m also not a victim
I am far from a hero

I am simply a girl
trying to craft understanding
from the shame of being a spy

Showing up is my only superpower
It is my way home

On my application to be a KUNT, they asked the question – describe yourself in 500 words or less…
My answer was:
I am a chemical tanker on life’s highway. Tits up and spilling its guts on innocent passers by. Some days I can keep a lid on it. But these days, prescriptions are well written – and they make it hard to remember through the fog. When all is said and done – people do it all the time. Lawyers especially. They are extortionists who negotiate on behalf of their clients, because truth is sure to fail them. The moment a lie is committed into the mix, the present dies. It is an extra complication one must deal with back in the Homeland
as my career comes to a close,
and I walk into a mushroom cloud wind,
I look
Left to right
Upside and down
Dark to light
Because I want to say something
I didn’t have words to convey
when I committed the dreadful crime

It is the next morning
and my fingers,
born bent,
out from under
the blanket
of respectability

I have survived another night

Another nightmare
The same nightmare
Every night

I am blessed
with the understanding
that I admit
that terror can be reciprocated

a dog in a the washing machine
dearly wants to come clean
the only way she knows how

From the tragic
to the traumatic.
The notion
that one has to have a reason to suffer
bears on the ‘how’
and the ‘why’
and the ‘who’

Or something like that
The drugs help
Until they don’t
And the curtain draws open, to reveal a film