Sexpionage

Sexpionage (also known as espionage, spying or intelligence gathering) –  is the act of obtaining secret or confidential information from non-disclosed sources and divulging the same without the permission or consent of the holder of the information – for a tangible benefit.
 
 In times of crisis, spies steal information and knowledge to sabotage the enemy in various ways.
 
So there you have it.
 
The big reveal after 10 years of film making and 186 films is that – I am a spy.
 
Betcha didn’t see that coming

I work for an international organization of evil – and its mission is world domination.
 
KAOS was founded in 1904 in Bucharest, but is a Delaware corporation for tax purposes. By 1923 it had grown large enough to hold a convention in Atlantic City.
 
“KAOS” is a play on the word “chaos”, but is not an acronym.
 
My mother organisation of evil was first lampooned in the 1970’s television show ‘Get Smart’ – as the bumbling, fault ridden evil doppelganger to the ‘good’ intelligence agency ‘CONTROL’.
 
Get Smart caused our organization to be ridiculed mercilessly. We are only now starting to be regarded as a credible dangerous threat to world security.
 
In 2006, our dear leader, who is only known as Mr Big, and our Vice President of Public Terror – Ludwig Siegfried – set up a female only spying division called K.U.N.T – which was an an acronym for Konniving Underhanded Nasty Teasemerchants.
 
 They installed me in the CEO position and sent me on a mission to Australia. I cannot tell you the details of that mission. That is what the film is for. At KUNT, we do not believe in providing redundant information that duplicates other user generated content found in other forums.
 
But, what I can tell you about is the finer details of the renewed and revitalised KAOS that I have been working for.
 
In 2005, the KAOS Board of Directors decided to develop a number of specialist departments apart from KUNT – including the League of Impostors (LIMP), the Contrived Occasional Car-accident Koalition (COCK), and a specialist smuggling unit named the Association of Single Spinsters (ASS).
 
However, we are not all work and no play. We also have elite ice-skating troops known as the KAOScapades. This division is for ceremonial occasions only, and was developed around the Blue Hornets concept that the Air Force uses for airshows.
 
However, unlike KAOS, KUNT operates as a series of autonomous cells, each with its own leader and agenda. Even as one cell is destroyed, another is ready to carry out its plan, making the organization very resilient.
 
 The unit I have headed for the last 16 years was organised in a more business-like fashion, even some months making a profit on its operations. The concept was first suggested to the KAOS board by business mogul Leonard Ironhand. He was then given a grant to establish KUNT – and its unique blackmail formula was then formulated by scientist Nino Salvatori Sebastiani & fashion designer Norman Saint Sauvage.
 
Their brilliant new espionage model was to achieve world domination – by controlling the film industry – rather than world domination by political means.
 
So, I’ve told you about my organisation – now let me share some personal insights, and what I have learnt from 15 years of being a traitorous spy.
 
When we deny our faults, they define us.
So I turn toward my truth, and run headlong into it
I am my own crash test dummy
Therefore I save my company money
And I am also tax deductible
 
I am not a villain
But I’m also not a victim
I am far from a hero

I am simply a girl
trying to craft understanding
from the shame of being a spy

Showing up is my only superpower
It is my way home

On my application to be a KUNT, they asked the question – describe yourself in 500 words or less…
 
My answer was:
 
I am a chemical tanker on life’s highway. Tits up and spilling its guts on innocent passers by. Some days I can keep a lid on it. But these days, prescriptions are well written – and they make it hard to remember through the fog. When all is said and done – people do it all the time. Lawyers especially. They are extortionists who negotiate on behalf of their clients, because truth is sure to fail them. The moment a lie is committed into the mix, the present dies. It is an extra complication one must deal with back in the Homeland
 
Now,
as my career comes to a close,
and I walk into a mushroom cloud wind,
I look
East
West
Left to right
Upside and down
Dark to light
 
Because I want to say something
I didn’t have words to convey
when I committed the dreadful crime

It is the next morning
and my fingers,
born bent,
unfold
out from under
the blanket
of respectability

I have survived another night

Another nightmare
The same nightmare
Every night

I am blessed
with the understanding
that I admit
that terror can be reciprocated
 
Endlessly

Because
a dog in a the washing machine
dearly wants to come clean
the only way she knows how

From the tragic
to the traumatic.
 
The notion
that one has to have a reason to suffer
bears on the ‘how’
and the ‘why’
and the ‘who’

Or something like that
 
The drugs help
Until they don’t
 
And the curtain draws open, to reveal a film
 

For ten years, project producer Alan Rogers has been doing a first impression breakdown of each film prior to release. This ‘first watch’ commentary provides me with ‘fresh eyes’ and invaluable feedback on continuity and messaging that helps me finesse my message for each film. What you are reading are his thoughts, and his stream of consciousness, on each film as he watches it. My thanks always to Alan for helping me a better, more precise writer.

Kunt

Is this the K word you were referencing? Interesting spelling. 

I have a feeling the noun you are barely disguising, has been around for many centuries and was not considered offensive until it’ s recent usage has been weaponised. London had a road called ‘Gropecunt Lane’ (sadly now no longer), as did several other cities in the UK, and the name went back to the middle ages to describe a passage where prostitutes plied their trade.

And by ‘passage’ I mean road.

I have been looking forward to seeing this film, since viewing the ‘teaser’ last week. I apologise for tardiness. You have my permission to call me lazy, but not to call me a lazy kunt (that would be rude).

INTRODUCTION BY SARAH SILVERMAN

PREFACE: ROADKILL ON LOVE HIGHWAY

WHEN HE VOWS HIS PASSION INS INFINITE & UNDYING

AND YOU SWEAR YOU ARE HIS FOREVER

ONE OF YOU IS LYING

I have been reading about Olympe de Gouges. A remarkable french woman who wrote ‘the manifesto of women’ shortly after Jefferson and Lafayette wrote ‘the manifesto of man’. Basically she lived in revolutionary France (mid to late 1700s) and fought tirelessly for equal rights with men. She hated marriage and was instead compelled to suggest that a prenuptial agreement of sorts be written up protecting the women financially before she is committed to marriage. This is in an age where women were ‘owned’ by their fathers until marriage, then given to their husbands after. She was widowed, and was grateful for it (she never loved her husband) and from then on resisted the very idea of marriage. Her view was that there should be a social contract between men and women who commit to each other to share their wealth and possessions, but not to commit to love each other for eternity. She also believed that women should be able to name the father of their children (out of wedlock) and that the named person would then be responsible for supporting the mother and child. However she also was friends with Marie Antoinette and this was her downfall. She was sent to the guillotine for supporting the monarchy. Clearly though she was more revolutionary than the braying mob that killed her. 

AND ONE OF YOU IS ABOUT TO BE ROADKILL

THE NEGOTIATION OF OATHS

SIGNED AND SEALED IN DEEDS OF TRUST

ARE A SLIPPERY EXISTENTIAL PATH TO NEGOTIATE

Being me, I want to parenthesise the line ‘signed and sealed in deeds of trust’ but your way is more Missy.

THERE IS BEAUTY IN TRUTH, EVEN IF THE TRUTH IS UGLY

This is true. In a way. I think the issue is that some truths are so unpalatable that they are beyond ugly and more like propaganda for the devil himself.

As an aside; I am aware of gender bias towards deities and demons. They should be androgynously referenced, but that is quite difficult.  I read on my phone the other day the suggestion we call someone M’they’d. I am afraid I snorted loudly on the tube, drawing unfriendly looks.

As an aside to this aside; who doesn’t love Morgan Freeman’s voice?

THOSE WHO LIE TO CONTORT THEIR LIFE STORY

ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT SEEM APPEALING TO THE IGNORANT

The ego assures us we are the most important person in the universe. There is a torture device in Douglas Adams ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe’ trilogy (consisting of six books by the way) called ‘Total Perspective Vortex’. It shows you how insignificant you are to the rest of the Universe. Once inside; the whole of creation is displayed out for you with a microscopic dot with the label ‘you are here’ shown on it. Your ego (and therefore your mind) is completely destroyed by this exposure to the deadly sense of perspective. 

TITLES

ACT ONE

ONE A MELODY IS HEARD, PLAYED UPON A FLUTE.

Very Kung Fu

I LIE TO MYSELF ALL THE TIME. BUT I NEVER BELIEVE MYSELF – S.E. HINTON / THE OUTSIDERS

Yes. The ego is a numpty.

INTRODUCING DEAD JAMES GANDOLFINI AS MAX JUBILEE

PROLOGUE: MY MOTHER THE SPYMASTER

MULLUMBIMBY AUSTRALIA

1981 – 1997 (Birth to 16 years old)

UNLIKE SONS, MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS HAVE A VERY UNIQUE BOND

OUR MOTHERS TEACH US HOW TO LOVE

THEY TEACH US ABOUT RIGHT AND WRONG

THEY TEACH US ABOUT TRUST AND SECURITY

OUR MOTHERS ARE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING

AND YOU SHOULD NEVER SUGGEST OTHERWISE

BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING MORE RESONANT IN NATURE

THAN THE ENERGY THAT FLOWS

BETWEEN TWO BIOLOGICALLY ALIKE BODIES

BUT SOMETIMES IT IS BAD ENERGY

MY MOTHER WAS THE BEST AT WHAT SHE DID

SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIE AND CHEAT

HOWEVER, THESE REFLEX RESPONSES TO BEING FOUND OUT

GIVE A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AND CONTENTMENT

THEY ARE FED, CLOTHED AND FUCKED TO BED

Just pausing for a second to analyse this text. 

I may be on the cusp of revelation otherwise, but I honestly feel like we inherit some behaviours through genes (nature) and some through learning from others (nurture). The Nurture/Nature debate swings around according to who the subject is (nobody fits a complete model) but on the whole we are made up of a bit of both.

NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER

MY MOTHER COULD HAVE BEEN AN EXCELLENT SPY

Women (generally) would all make better spies. IMHO.

SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO THROW PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS

WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT

THE PURPOSE OF OTHER PEOPLE TO HER WAS TRANSACTIONAL

Conservative. With a capital C.

THE DISTRIBUTION OF THIS USEFULNESS BASED HAPPINESS

WAS ONLY LIMITED BY THE GULLIBILITY OF THE MARK

WHAT SHE DIDN’T TEACH ME WAS

IF YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE THAT WAY

YOUR WHOLE LIFE, YOU WOULD WAIT FOR THE DAY

WHEN IT WOULD BE YOU WHO WAS THROWN UNDER THAT BUS

Vive L‘Revolution.

NEVER PUSH A LOYAL & TRUSTING PERSON TO THE POINT WHERE THEY NO LONGER CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, OR THEM

BECAUSE THE DYSFUNCTION BECOMES ITSELF

FOREWARD: BADA BING BADA BOOM

Intentional mis-spelling of forward? Or Foreword?

Anyway back to the strip club.

THIS IS A FILM ABOUT MY ACT OF REFLECTING

IN A FISHBOWL FILLED WITH MALEVOLENCE

IT’S A MOP UP OPERATION SOMETIMES

MY LIFE. HOW IT WAS. AND HOW I COULD HAVE DONE IT BETTER

Now. 

I have quite strong feelings about this.

We all regret some things we did in our past. Show me someone who has no regrets and I will say they are a liar. 

We want all the good things that happened to us to stay, but all the bad things to go away. We would (in perfect hindsight) change our lives to make things better. 

It is a nice fantasy. But the laws of nature do not allow us to travel in time, and evidence shows it never will. So we have to make peace with our past. We have to accept that we are the people we have become because of it. And we must try and understand how the good that has happened to us can only be considered good when comparing it to the bad.

TITLES

SEXPIONAGE;

SEXUAL ACTIVITY, INTIMACY, ROMANCE OR SEDUCTION FOR THE PURPOSE OF GATHERING INFORMATION TO SABOTAGE AN ENEMY

I GOT ALL THE CORNERS

COVERED

IN MY EYES

AND WHAT THEY HIDE

ACT 1; WHY WOMEN ARE THE MOST EFFECTIVE SPIES

THE SECRETS OF MATA HARI, JOSEPHINE BAKER & ANNA CHAPMAN

AND THE MOTHERS WHO TAUGHT THEM THE TRICKS OF THE TRADE

IF A FEMALE SPY CAN FIND A TARGET

IN DESPERATE NEED OF ACCEPTING WORDS

SAID BY A PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO FRAME SUCH THINGS

THERE IS NO LIMIT TO THE TREACHERY THAT CAN BE COMMITTED

ON THE VULNERABLE PERSON AFFLICTED BY ALONENESS

HOWEVER, SUBMISSION TO THE HANDLER

REQUIRES ONE ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT

ISOLATION FROM INDEPENDENT OBJECTIVITY 

SHOULD THE MARK SEEK THE OPINION OF A PROFESSIONAL

THEY CAN BECOME AWARE

OF THE EMPTY CAVERNOUS HOLE FULL OF ECHOES

THEY ACCEPT TO ENSURE THEIR EGO REMAINS INTACT

BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS FAIL THEM

Ok. This is a lot of words to unpick; but I think the premise of what you are trying to convey is that some women have learned to weaponise love. That unsuspecting men/women, have been led to believe that they are loved by their partner, but in reality there is nothing but manipulation going on.

I guess this could happen. It might even be more prevalent than I can consider. Who knows? Perhaps here the issue is one of ignorance; you cannot know what you do not know (yes that old chestnut). You can feel unloved, but only if the partner shows you no love at all.

ACT 2

SEXPIONAGE AND THE COLLAPSE OF COGNITION

SEX IS ROCK AND ROLL FOR THE NERVOUS SYSTEM

IT OFFERS THE BIG SKY FEELING OF BEING ABOVE ALL INSECURITY

UNCONVENTIONAL FETISHES ARE NOT JUDGED

AND REPRESSION FADES WITH A HOT TIP PAYDAY

SEX IS THE SHINY THING THAT DISTRACTS

FROM THE ANGST OF NOT FEELING WHOLE

IT BECOMES A USEFUL PLACEHOLDER

FOR THOSE WHO FEEL THE PAIN OF WANT IN THEIR SKIN

AND HAVE MANIPULATED THEMSELVES TO NEAR PRETZEL LIKE FORM

 I like those words.

Sex is an instinct that when discovered and laid bare; can become all consuming for a while. However, life tends to walk in on us. We have to stop, pull our knickers up, and get on with doing other shit. Eventually that other shit becomes all consuming and sex becomes a recreational sport. 

IN ORDER TO SURVIVE WHAT NEVER WAS

GUILTY UNCONSCIOUS TRUTHS THAT WON’T LAY DOWN

BECAUSE THEY HAVE BECOME GENETICALLY EMBEDDED

ACT 3

THE UNCERTAINTY OF CERTAINTY

EVERY DANCE IS A MANIPULATION. EVER WORD A SWORD

• MATA HARI. HISTORY’S MOST FAMOUS FEMALE SPY

SOMETIMES THE TRUTH IS TOO HARSH AND COSTLY

THAT THE PRESENT DIES ON A CROSS OF SHAME

AND YOU NEED A STEAM SHOVEL IN YOUR HEAD

TO PUSH UP THE SHIT NEEDED TO COVER THAT DARKNESS

THE AWARENESS THAT YOU WERE NEVER SPECIAL

JUST USEFUL

This is quite a statement. 

I think you are saying that some women just use men for whatever purpose they have (social mobility, financial gain, children) but have no real need for them after the purpose has been realised. 

I am sure many men would agree. But what is the motivation? The nest is not a harmonious place to live if such cold attitudes prevail. And surely the purpose of a partner is to share the nest and help each other?

USEFUL QUALITIES WOMEN LOOK FOR IN MEN

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

VALIDATION

ACCEPTANCE OF INSINCERE MODESTY

COMPLETE ENTRANCEMENT LEADING TO TOTAL ENTRAPABILITY

Ignoring the fact that ‘entrapability’ is surely a made up word; this is a little disrespectful to the intelligence of the male of the species I think. I suspect there are equal numbers of men carrying out these roles on women.

WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT INCONSISTENT NARRATIVES

SUSCEPTIBLE TO BEGINNER LEVEL GASLIGHTING

I think men like ‘dumb’ women. 

I am not one of them. Well I am a man (technically), but I am not someone who likes dumb women. However I note the early role of women in the courtship dance includes playing more stupid than she is. Laughing at unfunny jokes, pretending she doesn’t know stuff so that he can explain it in detail and she can appear interested. Not sure where this fits into your narrative though. Perhaps that is all part of your ‘deceit’. Perhaps this is the entrapment.

WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT FACT U-TURNS

SHALLOW THOUGHT AFFECT

ACT 4

YOU CAN’T CHOOSE WHAT FADES AWAY

THE EVIL THAT A PERSON DOES LIVES LONG AFTER THEM

THE GOOD IS OFT INTERRED WITH THEIR BONES

• WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE / JULIUS CAESAR

NO LEGACY IS SO RICH AS HONESTY

WHEN TRUTH IS REPLACED BY SILENCE

THE SILENCE IS A LIE

AND A LIE THAT IS HALF-TRUTH

IS THE DEEPEST OF ALL LIES

COULD THIS BE WHERE I MISSED IT?

A LAPSE IN COGNITION CAUSED BY EGO ADDICTION

TRUST, LIKE WATER, DOESNT LIE

BUT PEOPLE DO

AND THEN THEY WONDER WHAT HAPPENED

AND WHY THEIR WHOLE WORLD BLEW UP AROUND THEM

THINGS COME APART SO EASILY

WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN HELD TOGETHER WITH FABRICATIONS

IT IS A PAIN WELL-EARNED

DELIVERED BY AN AUTONOMOUS SELF-SERVING SEXUAL NEED

UNDERNEATH A FALSE-HOOD

FUCKING ABOUT WITH THE BELIEFS OF OTHERS

THAT RE-ARRANGES THEIR DNA

SO THAT THE DON’T RECOGNISE THEMSELVES ANYMORE

BY NAME OR NATURE

I BECAME A STRANGER TO MYSELF

AS I BECAME TWO PEOPLE

EACH ONE SEPARATED

AS IF AT DIFFERENT DEPTHS OF UNDERSTANDING

BUBBLES OF BELIEF IN THE SAME WATER

PASSING BY EACH OTHER UKNOWN

PLAYING BY THE RULES MY MOTHER SET

MADE SUCCUMBING TO TEH TEMPTATION TO LIE POSSIBLE

AT LEAST, NOT IMPOSSIBLE

A LITTLE ISSUE THAT PRODUCES A HIGH BODY COUNT

SURVIVAL OF SELF WAS WHAT I WAS TAUGHT

MY ONLY TRUTH IS FOUND

WHEN I TAP THESE COMPUTER KEYS IN MY MIND

FILLING THE NEGATIVE BLANK SPACES BY CLOSING MY EYES

TO DE-SPELL MY LACK OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY

ADDICTED TO TEH DRUG INDUCED SEXUAL EUPHORIA

OF A CAMERA HELD AT MY FINGERTIPS

HERE I CANNOT LIE AS MY LIFE IS REPLAYED

THE CAMERA HAS PURPOSE

TO CRAFT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT FROM SHAME

TO MAKE MY NEED TO HURT WHEN I HURT MORE PALATABLE

BECAUSE BAD CHOISES CREATE GAPS

IN SOMETHING THAT WS MEANT TO BE WHOLE

This text is the same as in The K Word, so I will not comment further on the above.

ACT 5

THE MOSAIC OF THERAPY AS A WEAPON

THERE IS NOTHING QUITE AS SHOCKING

AS SOMEONE PLANNING TO COMMIT DAMAGE UPON THEMSELVES

NOT ONLY TO THEIR MIND, BODY AND SOLE

BUT ALSO THEIR WILL TO LIVE

THE ONLY THING WORSE

IS WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT TO THEM

BECAUSE COMMITTING TO THERAPY 

IS ONE OF THE MOST VULNERABLE THINGS A PERSON CAN DO 

BECAUSE THEY ARE ADMITTING THEY ARE BORKEN

AND THEY NEED HELP TO SURVIVE

DISRESPECTING & MANIPULATING THAT VULNERABILITY 

IS AN EVIL ACT THAT COULD ONLY BE PERPETRATED BY A MONSTER

THIS IS WHAT I DID

MAX LEFT ME IN SEPTEMBER 2019

HE COULD NO LONGER TOLERATE MY ANGER AND SELFISHNESS

WITH MY FRAGILE EGO BRUISED

I NEEDED TO HURT HIM, BECAUSE HE REJECTED ME

HE HAD TOLD ME ALL THE FUCKED UP THINGS

THAT HAPPENED TO HIM IN HIS CHILDHOOD

THINGS HE HAD LEARNED ABOUT HIMSELF IN THERAPY

AND I TOLD EVERYONE I KNEW

SO I COULD BE THE VICTIM OF MY OWN PATHETIC VICTIMHOOD

LET ME TELL YOU HOW EVIL THAT IS

IMAGINE YOU KNEW SOMEONE WHO HAD A BEAUTIFUL DOG

AND THAT DOG LOVED HIM UNCONDITIONALLY

BUT ONE DAY, THE DOG CHEWED UP A CUSHION

SO TEH PERSON THREW THE DOG OFF A BUILDING

WHAT PUNISHMENT WOULD THAT PERSON DESERVE

I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT

HERE’S WHAT I THINK SHOULD HAPPEN TO THEM

EVERY NIGHT THEY WENT TO SLEEP

THEY WOULD HAVE TO DREAM THE SAME NIGHTMARE

AND RELIVE THE TERROR THAT POOR ANIMAL FELT

EVERY NIGHT, FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE

BUT WITHOUT THE HAPPY ENDING

EVER

This is such a sad confession. But you are wrong, and I hope in the recess of your mind you can see how wrong you are.

There are spiteful and dangerous people who say things that break societal protocol. They are abusive towards gender, race and culture and come from a starting point of hate.

Then there are people who do misinterpret protocols and say things that are hurtful and can cause pain, but come from a starting point of love. (Think of old people who are racist, but not because they are hateful,  they were just taught a different protocol and do not really understand how language is appropriately used these days).

The love you felt for Max is evident in your early films, this is not someone you hated, this was an outpouring of grief over the loss of that love. You may have misinterpreted or misconstrued your angst and betrayal as hate, but I personally do not buy it.

You have shown yourself to be thoughtful, compassionate and trustworthy when it mattered.

On the subject of dreams; I believe the brain uses dreams to process emotion. To sandbox different emotional outcomes in preparedness. It is a useful tool but the best of us can wake up in a cold sweat with our heart racing.

NO ANIMALS WERE HURT OR SCARED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM

SOCIETY: EXPRESS YOURSELF FULLY AS AN INDIVIDUAL

SOCIETY: NOT LIKE THAT

THIS WAS A LITTLE FILM ABOUT BEST FRIENDS BY MISSY JUBILEE

ACT 6 

LIVING UNDER THE REGIME OF ALEXITHYMIA

PEOPLE WITH ALEXITHYMIA HAVE DIFFICULTIES WITH EXPRESSING EMOTIONS THAT ARE DEEMED SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE, SUCH AS HAPPINESS

THEY ALSO LACK THE ABILITY TO FEEL ANY EMPATHY FOR THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS

Do you consider yourself to be suffering from Alexithymia or Max? The point is moot though, I feel. If it is Max, then it is understandable why you became angry and frustrated with him during your relationship. If it is yourself, then we can see why Max became angry and frustrated with you. Not your fault.

THE CONDITION MAY ALSO BE A RESULT OF BRAIN DAMAGE TO THE INSULA

THIS PART OF THE BRAIN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR POSITIVE FEELINGS

ALEXITHYMIA HAS ALSO BEEN ASSOCIATED WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA

ADDITIONALLY, THIS CONDITION HAS BEEN NOTED IN PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED TRAUMA , ESPECIALLY DURING EARLY CHILDHOOD

TRAUMA AND NEGLECT AT THIS STAGE MAY CAUES CHANGES INTHE BRAIN THAT CAN MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO FEEL EMOTIONS LATER IN LIFE

I take that to mean it was you, as your autobiographical previous test leans towards neglect as a child.

ESPIONAGE, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SPYING, IS DEFINED AS

THE ACT OF OBTAINING CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION FROM NON-DISCLOSED SOURCES AND DIVULGING THAT INFORMATION WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE HOLDER FOR TANGIBLE BENEFIT TO THEMSELVES

IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD

I AM A TRAITOROUS SPY UNWORTHY OF TRUST

THIS IS MY LEGACY FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE

There is an argument that art should challenge. That if you were to make a film that did not engage emotionally, then it would be unworthy. I personally subscribe to that view. Your films challenge us to take a view and to look deep into your soul. You really are an exceptional woman.

CREDITS

GOT SO MUCH TO LOSE. GOT SO MUCH TO PROVE

GOD DON’T LET ME LOSE MY MIND

250 FILMS ABOUT THE ABSTRACT NATURE OF BEING

SEXUALLY FUCKED UP

DEDICATED TO MAX JUBILEE

1961-2019

I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM TAKING HIS LIFE

You were not responsible. You fell out and argued. I am sorry to say that depression and mental illness goes very much un-noticed in big strong men.  Even more so to people closest to them.

AND THAT MAKES ME ONE THING

EPILOGUE

THE ACT OF BEING A KUNT

A DREAM SEQUENCE ABOUT UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE

AT ANOTHER TIME

THE END

THE REASON FOR UTILISING JAMES GANDOLFINI

TO PLAY THE CHARACTER OF MAX IN THIS FILM

WAS THAT MAX WAS A HUGE JAMES GANDOLFINI FAN

You know how I love nerdwriter? Here is his essay on Gandolfini:

https://youtu.be/rLSm2RSpVKI

JAMES GANDOLFINI PLAYED TONY SOPRANO IN HBO’S TELEVISION SERIES THE SOPRANOS

GANDOLFINI WON THREE EMMY AWARDS

THREE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS

AND ONE GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD FOR THE ROLE

GANDOLFINI’S PORTRAYAL OF TONY SOPRANO IS WIDELY REGARDED AS THE GREATEST PERFORMANCE IN TELEVISION HISTORY

WHEN I WAS SEARCHING THROUGH OLD HARD DRIVES FOR FOOTAGE TO MAKE THIS FILM WITH 

I FOUND A FAN FILM MAX HAD MADE SOON AFTER GANDOLFINI DIED

IT WAS A TRIBUTE FROM ONE ARTIST TO ANOTHER

MAX BELIEVED IN PAYING RESPECT TO THOSE WHO ADMIRED HIM

IT WAS A LESSON I FAILED TO LEARN FROM HIM

THIS IS THAT SHORT TRIBUTE FILM

NOT ONLY DID MAX SHARE GANDALFINI’S PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE SHARED HIS HUMAN QUALITIES

‘THOSE WHO WANT RESPECT, GIVE RESPECT’ – JAMES GANDOLFINI

GANDOLFINI DIED UNEXPECTEDLY FROM A HEART ATTACK IN JUNE 2013 AT THE AGE OF 51

Such a sad loss of a brilliant actor.

HE WAS ALONE WHEN HE DIED

A PERSON IS NOT WHO THEY THINK THEY ARE

A PERSON IS WHAT THEY TRY TO HIDE – ANDRE MALRAUX 1901-1976

FRENCH NOVELIST, ART THEORIST AND AUTHOR OF ‘LA CONDITION HUMAINE’

‘LA CONDITION HMAINE’ WAS WRITTEN BY MALRAUX IN 1933 AND ITS PLOT REVOLVES AROUND A MAN SO HAUNTED BY GUILT AND HIS POWERLESSNESS OVER HIS INEVITABLE DEATH BECAUSE OF THE THINGS HE HAS DONE, THAT HE WISHES TO DIE, JUST TO END HIS TORMENT

Max sounds like he was a good man. But we all have our moments. It is easier to make a martyr out of someone because they died, to remember only the good about them. Your Julius Caesar quote comes into sharp focus here. What I would say is that the blame game is fruitless. Max was Max. With all his charm, wisdom, talent skill and inner beauty. But he was human, he got angry, he misinterpreted words, he forgot important information and he stumbled (as we all do) through the minefield of sexual politics.

Your motivation for making this film is also interesting to me. This is clearly not a monetising film. The film itself is not intended to be commercially driven. By that I mean that you have not made this film to make you richer; this is an outpouring of emotion and I remove my hat and lie prostrate at your feet for doing so. This is how art is made.

Of course the Artist has to have the cushion of financial stability; but the Artist should not be trying to only make films for money as that is dead art to me. The art SHOULD make money, but not at the cost of it’s soul. The BBC has the mission to “Educate, Inform and Entertain” written into it’s Royal Charter (https://downloads.bbc.co.uk/bbctrust/assets/files/pdf/about/how_we_govern/2016/charter.pdf – Article 5). I believe your films also fit this criteria. Your goals are very different, but your films make us better people.

Shared Experience. Shared Knowledge. Shared love.

You are the brightest star in the southern sky.

Alan

NB. I wrote this late at night and my keyboard suddenly started quickly backspacing away destroying all I had written. I had to reboot the computer to get it to stop, which meant I had to write some of it again (after a nightshift). For this reason I have not re-read or edited the words. It is highly likely that the text is littered with spelling mistakes and misquotes. For that I apologise. As usual.