by producer Alan Rogers in London
This an interesting film.
It feels like a film that has intentionally opened the side gate and gone round the back of the house. It has silently opened the back door, kicking off its shoes. It has sneaked around in the kitchen for a while, looking for a useful implement, then (misunderstanding the brief) has mistakenly chosen a spoon, before making its way to the stairs and your bedroom, where it has threatened you with what is essentially a tool for eating soup.
It is (perhaps) a film about making a film about making a film. And maybe also about why you would.
Life is a journey. That much is fact. The rest we make up as we go along.
I do think your series did start out as sexual confessions. I remember distinctly wondering (about 5 or 6 films in) why the confessions were left unfinished, and that when leaving the theatre (metaphorically I mean…perhaps closing the laptop would be a better analogy) I always had more questions than answers.
The thorny ladder you have chosen to climb has been tough. You have interspersed sexual confessions with themed cultural references. There is always humour. Some of the humour I do not get. That is probably because I am British, and we famously have no sense of humour whatsoever.
I understand Belinda’s concern over your self-hate themes. Angst and Anxiety that sometimes float up through casserole (this is where the spoon comes in handy by the way).
But I also see the cathartics of blending what you love (clearly music and film) into a kaleidoscopic confessional box.
PLEASE STAND BY
MY NAME IS …SLUT
I have recently been adding italics showing what is also going on in the film. This has gone unnoticed and is perhaps not part of what I was signed up for. I am after all only here to examine the script, right?
So this one concentrates only on the script. Fair warning. Of course, this means that sometimes your written words (which are echoing spoken words) are perhaps a little contextually lost. But I will do my best.
WHAT THEY ARE TRULY CAPABLE OF
Is that an optimistic or pessimistic standpoint?
NO AMOUNT OF THERAPY
CAN REPLACE THE JOY OF REVENGE
I was going to say Schadenfreude but that is different to revenge.
Inigo Montoya: I have been in the revenge business so long . Now that it’s over I do not know what to do with the rest of my life.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE TAKE HOME MESSAGE OF HORROR MOVIES IS?
DON’T FUCK WITH CRAZY PEOPLE
THEY DON’T READ THE APPROVED SCRIPT
The hardest watch is always the ones where you become emotionally attached to the victim.
THE FUTURE SEX LOVE ART PROJEKT
THIS IS NEITHER AN ACCUSATION
NOR A CONFESSION
IT IS AN AWARENESS OF LURKING EVIL
The terms ‘unspeakable violence’, or ‘unprovoked and unjust evil’ crop up all the time these days. You scarcely have to switch on the news without someone butchering another human being for no real reason. The acts we have living in our brains are disgusting. But the urge to carry them out also disgusts us. Those that do, generally have a defect within them that bypasses this disgust. I do not think it is self-hate. It seems more open than that, it feels like a lack of conscience.
CAN TEAR YOU APART
The truth is the only thing that holds us together.
Yep. See what I mean about answering the spoken word?
I AM FASCINATED BY ONE VERY DISTURBING FILM
BASED ON THE HORRIFIC TRUE EVENTS
MONSTER: THE JEFFREY DAHMER STORY
I have no desire to see this film.
THE MOST BASIC QUESTION ABOUT JEFFREY DAHMER IS
WHY DID HE KILL & EAT 17 YOUNG MEN?
He was an ill person. He needed help. He didn’t get any. Society probably failed to spot the warnings. (I am guessing here though, I don’t really know).
DAHMER HAD AN UNHAPPY CHILDHOOD
WHEN HE WAS 14, HIS REVENGE FANTASIES STARTED
THEY WERE FANTASIES OF TOTAL DOMINATION
AND COMPLETE CONTROL
HE SAID HE DIDN’T HATE THE MEN HE KILLED
HE JUST WANTED THEM TO NEVER LEAVE HIM
DAHMER SUFFERED FROM EXTREME ATTACHMENT DISORDER
BECAUSE SOMEONE REJECTED HIM
HE WAS NEVER GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN
AND HE HAD A VERY SIMPLE SOLUTION
Not simple. Just very very sad.
I ALSO HAVE A SIMPLE SOLUTION FOR REJECTION
BUT MINE INVOLVES PLANES, TRAINS AND BIKES
TO KNOW BETTER
Oh. Those were the days.
SHES’S SO DISGUSTING
JE SUIS SLUT
Not so much in this film she isn’t.
WHY DID YOU KILL ME?
ALL REVENGE SERVES A PURPOSE
MAKE ART NOT PORN
This line seems like you threw it in there to see if we were concentrating.
IN MY CASE, MAKE MORE FILMS IS THE MOST RATIONAL REVENGE
BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE HATE THAT I KEEP MAKING THEM
SO HERE’S ANOTHER ONE
You make films as revenge against those who do not want you to make films? Surely that is a circular argument?
PART ONE: PLANES
MEANWHILE IN HOLLYWOOD
THE OFFICES OF THE FUCK CORPORATION
SINCE STARTING THIS PROJECT IN 2013
I HAVE BEEN CANCELLED BY EVERY BIG TECH COMPANY
I have no idea what this means. I guess you are talking about video sharing platforms, and that those platforms are owned by every big tech company. Not sure.
I did see something the other day about how every company in the world is owned by Blackrock and Vanguard, that these two companies are in turn owned by the wealthiest people in the world, which consist of only a few hundred people. That this means; in effect that every company in the world is owned by those few hundred people.
Not sure if that is true though. Seems plausible.
AND I FANTASISE ABOUT THEIR DEMISE
BECAUSE OF THEIR ARROGANCE
BECAUSE OF THEIR JUDGEMENT
BECAUSE OF THEIR DISMISSIVENESS
EAT ME. LIKE JEFFREY DAHMER
WHO AM I?
A PISSED OFF DRIFTER WITH NOTHING TO LOSE
SO I FANTASISE ABOUT MY REVENGE
BECAUSE THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND ME
AND WHAT I’M TRYING TO DO
Now I do think that for the last year or so, most of your films at some point reference how pissed off you are at the idiots trying to stop your project.
I really think you give them far too much air time personally.
EVERY NIGHT YOU LEAVE YOUR OFFICE
YOU’VE GOT A TARGET ON YOUR BACK
AND I CAN SEE THAT TARGET FROM 5,000 FEET
JUST LIKE JEFFREY DAHMER
I HAVE VIOLENT REVENGE FANTASIES
BUT MINE INVOLVE TECH COMPANIES
HAVE A NICE DAY MOTHERFUCKERS
BUT I DON’T ACT ON THOSE FANTASIES
Thank god. You have a conscience.
I COULD HAVE PROCESSED THIS REJECTION
BUT I EXORCISED THIS REJECTION DIFFERENTLY
I CHOSE TRAINS
INSTEAD OF CANNIBALISM
Big fan of trains.
WHEN YOU MASTER HONESTY
YOU CAN PENETRATE YOUR TRUTH
YOU BEGIN TO SEE YOURSELF
AS YOU ARE
This. This is what I believe in.
THE SIMPLICITY OF A TRAIN JOURNEY IS ENLIGHTENING
MOVE FORWARD IN ONE DIRECTION
STOP OCCASIONALLY AT PLACES YOU’VE NEVER BEEN
THEN REACH YOUR DESTINATION AND DISEMBARK
Um. Well you might stop somewhere you have been. But I get your point.
PART TWO: TRAINS
BELINDA TOBIN IS THE SERIES EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THIS PROJECT
AFTER MY FILM K.U,N.T WAS RELEASED
BELINDA SENT ME AN E-MAIL
SHE SAID SOMETHING VERY SIMPLE
BUT IT CONFOUNDED ME FOR WEEKS
WHAT SHE WROTE WAS…
I HAVE NOTICED A THEME DEVELOPING IN YOUR FILMS
AND IT COULD BE BEST DESCRIBED AS
SELF-HATE VERGING ON ZEALOTRY
Fanatical self-hate? I am not sure I have witnessed it personally. I do think you are occasionally very hard on yourself. You are self deprecating (you probably have British ancestry).
I HAVE DONE A LOT OF THINKING ABOUT THAT
BECAUSE BELINDA WAS RIGHT
BUT MAYBE NOT FOR THE REASONS THAT SEEM OBVIOUS
BELINDA’S STATEMENT FORCED ME TO THINK
ABOUT THE BASIC PREMISE OF MY FILMS
AS A CONCEPTUALISATION OF MYSELF
AND MY FIRST INSTINCTIVE MOTIVATIONS
FOR TAKING ON SUCH A PROJECT
The project has waxed and waned. The style has evolved but is still cut from the same pattern as the early films. The subjects have varied. Some are introspective. Some are a rage at the world. Some are observances, views from wherever you were standing at the time.
Some are easy to swallow. Some make us choke.
IT’S NOT EVERY DAY
THAT SOMEONE GETS OUT OF BED AND THINKS
TODAY I’M GOING TO START MAKING 250 FILMS
ABOUT HOW FUCKED UP I AM
AND THAT IS GOING TO CONSUME ME
FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS
I remember your initial target of 5 years. All over by 2018. Not that I ever thought that possible. Your films were far too polished for that level of output to be sustainable.
YOU WOULD THINK
THAT THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE SOME PRETTY GOOD REASONS FOR
CONSIDERING DOING IT
ACTUALLY DOING IT
VERSUS GOING BACK TO BED UNTIL THE THOUGHT PAST
The reason for your films was (I thought) initially a confessional. They sometimes divert into documentary territory. No problem with that. We all love to be educated.
‘SOME OF YOUR FILMS VERGE ON ZEALOUS SELF-HATE’
THAT STATEMENT ECHOED IN MY CONSCIOUSNESS
BECAUSE OF ITS DAHMERESQUE CONNOTATIONS
BUT WHAT BELINDA SAW WAS SELF-HATE
IS ME THROWING BAGGAGE OUT THE WINDOW
OF A MOVING TRAIN
I like the imagery of this. I was thought to visualise my past errors as balloons to tie to the back of my chair and ignore.
Visualising them as baggage to be thrown from a moving train sounds much more fun.
THAT BAGGAGE LANDS IN THE BARREN LANDSCAPE OF FILM
AND IT IS LET LOOSE TO ROAM ETERNALLY IN THE BADLANDS
AND THAT BAGGAGE LIVES FOREVER
IMMORTALISED AS FILMS
BUT STRIPPED OF ITS POWER OVER ME
WHEN I GET OFF THE TRAIN
I WONT HAVE ANY BAGGAGE TO COLLECT
AND I’LL BE ABLE TO GET AHEAD OF ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS
WHO HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR BAGGAGE TO BE UNLOADED
Yes. I think you might have taken this analogy a bit far there.
SO I’LL BE FIRST IN LINE AT THE TAXI RANK
BELINDA: WHAT DOES THE TAXI RANK REPRESENT?
ME: THAT’S WHERE YOU CATCH TAXI’S
BELINDA: OH, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DEEPER THAN THAT
ME: NO, JUST TAXI’S
BELINDA: SO THESE 250 FILMS ARE ABOUT TRAINS & BAGGAGE
ME: MORE OR LESS. MAYBE NOT ALWAYS IN THAT ORDER
BELINDA: I’M GLAD WE’VE SORTED THAT OUT
ME: YES, I FEEL LIGHTER NOW THAT I UNDERSTAND MY FILMS
BELINDA: SO. A QUESTION. JEFFREY DAHMER? WHY?
WHEN I LOOK AT JEFFREY DAHMER THROUGH A VULNERABILITY LENS
This conversation turns the analogy quite neatly back onto track.
IN A STRANGE WAY I RELATE TO HIM
HE WAS IGNORED BY HIS PARENTS WHEN HE WAS YOUNG
MAYBE HE FEARED
NOT BEING WORTHY OF BEING NOTICED
NOT BEING WORTHY OF BEING LOVED
NOT BEING WORTHY OF BELONGING
THESE SLIGHTS CAN BECOME INCURABLE WOUNDS
DAHMER BECAME AN EXTREME MANIFESTATION
OF THE DARK REVENGE FANTASIES THAT DEVELOP
WHEN YOU FEEL YOU DON’T FIT IN
MAYBE HE ALSO SUFFERED FROM
SELF-HATE VERGING ON ZEALOTRY
There are sick and twisted people out there. He was one. You are not. I believe.
SOMEONE ONCE ASKED ME
‘WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE THE HARD ROAD?’
MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS
‘WHY DO YOU ASSUME I SEE TWO ROADS?’
MAKING TRUTHFUL ART ABOUT SEX
TO NOT BE CLASSIFIED AS PORN
The direction of society is slow, but the breakdown of taboo’s has to be counted as one of its unspoken targets. Artists (such as yourself) continue to push boundaries. It is a war I can get behind.
MAYBE NOT ARAB/ISRAELI PEACE AGREEMENT HARD
MABE A FEW NOTCHES BELOW THAT
Too much for me.
WHEN YOU SUPPORT US AS FILM MAKERS
YOU SUPPORT MORE THAN A CREATIVE PROJECT
YOU SUPPORT HUNDREDS OF HOURS
OF FAILURES & EXPERIMENTATION
YOU ARE SUPPORTING DAYS, WEEKS
& MONTHS OF FRUSTRATION & WRITING
AND VERY FEW MOMENTS OF JOY
YOU’RE NOT JUST SUPPORTING A THING
YOU’RE SUPPORTING A PEICE OF HEART
AN ENDEAVOUR TO CREATE SOMETHING TRULY ORIGINAL
A REBUTTAL TO THE PORNIFICATION OF SEX
MIST IMPORTANTLY, YOU’RE BUYING US AS FILM MAKERS
MORE TIME TO COMPLETE THIS PROJECT
AND HAVE IT SEEN AT MOMA IN NEW YORK
AND THE TATE MODERN IN LONDON AS ART
PLEASE CONSIDER BECOMING A PATRON
AND SUPPORTING EXPERIMENTAL FILM MAKING
This link does not work by the way. Although I agree that you should have this in every film from now on.
I HAVE A THREE PART PLAN FOR DEALING WITH REJECTION
1. PLANES REPRESENT REVENGE
2. TRAINS REPRESENT RATIONALISATION
3. BIKES REPRESENT THE RIDICULOUS OF LIFE
PART THREE: BIKES!
TOM SEGURA | NOT NORMAL | BIKES!
I HEAR SCREAMING COMING FROM YOUR HEART
That is just too many onions in my risotto.
GETTING GODS ATTENTION FOR BEING BAD
IS BETTER THAN GETTING NO ATTENTION AT ALL
MAYBE GOD’S HATE IS BETTER THAN HIS INDIFFERENCE
WHICH IS WORSE, HELL OR NOTHING?
• TYLER DURDEN (BRAD PITT) FIGHT CLUB
You should be able to show what you want. You should be able to say what you want.
We live in a world where there is always someone else who has a view on what is acceptable to see/hear/do.
Bravo to the soldiers (Major Missy) who lead the battle against such foe.
Keep joy in your life.