by Belinda Tobin
How Porn Breeds Stupidity & Cowardly Silence
Missy Jubilee presents the films in The Future Sex Love Art Projekt to be an “intelligent alternative to dumb porn.”
Calling porn “dumb” may seem simplistic and even childish. But Missy’s words are always chosen with intuition, insight and intention.
So while the term may be minimalistic, it holds great awareness of the dangers of such prolific senselessness.
Porn is dumb because of the absurd and perverse effects it has on the viewers, the silence it imposes on the rights of women and children and its subjugation of the inherent beauty of human sexuality. The stupidity that porn is breeding does not bode well for the people who watch it, their relationships, or for human evolution.
Let’s Define Dumb
For such a small word, dumb really socks a punch. Calling someone or something dumb really tramples on two intense sources of pride – the ability to think well, and the ability to express our own thoughts and opinions.
Being dumb means you are incapable of either.
Merriam Webster defines the word as follows[i]:
- showing a lack of intelligence
- requiring no intelligence
- STUPID
- lacking the human power of speech
- temporarily unable to speak
- SILENT
Porn Makes People Stupid
I would be very worried if I was the first person to be saying this.
Thank goodness though there is a raft of psychiatrists and neuro-scientists that have been professing this fact for years, so I don’t need to bear the brunt of initial controversy.
The research on the damaging effects of porn on the brain is clear and conclusive, and this is backed by thousands of heartbreaking testimonies from those who have lost years of their lives in a dull, stupefied land of porn addiction.
If you would like to know more about the physical, emotional and mental trauma that porn facilitates watch The Great Porn Experiment by Gary Wilson.
Put simply, porn does not include any of the complex cues and realistic rewards that come with the human connection.
It is usually watched in isolation and relies only on the touch of a button. It does not take a great amount of creativity, intellect or effort to get a pleasure hit.
Human interactions on the other hand are full of touch, emotion and chemical cues (pheromones) to guide the courtship. There is a high level of intelligence required to interact with another being, and none of this is captured in the world of repetitive role plays that are modern pornography.
The result is that those who watch porn lose the ability to understand others and succeed in real relationships.
Porns’ Senseless Side-Effects
Isn’t it ironic.
-Alanis Morrisette
It is ironic that many people turn to porn as the source of education about how to be sexually intimate, and yet end up being less confident, less connected, and more alone as a result.
It is also ironic to learn that two of the nasty side effects of watching too much porn are decreased libido and erectile dysfunction.
That’s right, porn kills sexual performance.
This is due to the chemical and functional changes that occur in the brain from being exposed to the unnatural highs that porn presents.
Tolerance Lowers Libido
In the world of porn, variety, shock and surprise are just one tap away.
In just one click there is a new conquest, a new position, new punishments – the novelty is endless. The pleasure experienced releases huge amounts of dopamine, and with each click, the intensity continues.
Like any other drug, over time a point of tolerance is reached, and the feel-good reaction a person once got from watching porn subsides. This compels the person to watch more and more extreme porn to get the same pleasure kick.
No longer is the person aroused by the same sexual adventures they once were. Not only does the sex drive wane, but this paves a path to porn addiction.
Alarmingly, the research also shows that accessing pseudo-child pornography (PCP) increases the demand for real child pornography and provides men with both a blueprint and stimulus to undertaking child sexual abuse[ii].
The Natural Is No Longer Is Good Enough
The fact is that a real person can never live up to the continual thrill that is presented with porn.
Lovers look dull compared to the perfectly sculpted porn mistresses, and the desires of a normal human being pale to the limitless and extreme situations that the porn actors put themselves in.
When a brain has become used to the high thrill of porn sex, anything real no longer becomes stimulating. The result is that a person can no longer get aroused when with a lover – men can’t get it up, and women just can’t get excited.
The sexual disfunction created by porn can take months to resolve. This creates a vicious cycle as people begin to feel broken, and unworthy and withdraw even more. People become dissatisfied with their intimate relationships and distressed when they cannot satisfy their lovers.
Again, it is ironic that people may first turn to porn to “spice up” their sex life but end up with it being destroyed altogether.
Any entertainment that delivers the exact opposite of what it promises is surely a stupid proposition.
Don’t just take my word for it though, head into the NoFap community to hear from those people (Fapstronauts) who are leading much brighter lives after moving away from porn.
Porn Is No Longer Entertainment
Sure, you can argue that porn was never meant to be intelligent.
It is there purely for light relief from the pressures of life, a stimulus to brighten dull days, and a bit of entertainment to satisfy our primal brains. I would agree with you if it wasn’t for the fact that porn has no longer become entertainment. It has become the source of sex education for our children.
The average teenager encounters porn at around 11 years old[iii].
Most adolescents will have viewed pornography, with around 93% of boys and 62% of girls regularly exposed to pornographic images[iv]. Porn use is now so prevalent that until the rise of the NoFap community, researchers found it impossible to find a control group for their studies. There were just no young adult males who were not exposed to it regularly.
Porn has become the norm.
Additionally, the porn masters are well aware of the science behind tolerance and know that to keep their viewers hooked they need to continually add surprise and shock to the playlist.
What this means is that porn is becoming increasingly more violent and cruel.
Gonzo porn has become almost mainstream, with images easily sourced of women being debased and dehumanised.
This is not entertainment; it is sanctioned torture.
Porn Proliferates Cowardly Silence
Silence is golden but when it threatens your freedom it is yellow[v]
-Edmund Burke
It has been found that a decade ago there were already 12 acts of violence per scene in the top porn films.
It is easy to understand that this number is likely to have escalated in recent years. What is most dangerous though was that there was no resistance to the abuse shown in the films.
Instead, victims of the violence displayed pleasure or responded neutrally to the cruelty[vi].
Silence is porn’s response to violence against women and children.
The silence that porn imposes on the rights of women and children threatens their freedom by normalising sexual violence and gender stereotypes.
This is not just my opinion.
The National Plan to End Violence against Women and Children 2022-2032[vii] admits that pornography reinforces stereotyped sexual attitudes and contributes to harmful sexual behaviours.
Pornography normalises brutality, oppression and possession, all of which are precursors to domestic violence, and it suggests that silence of these behaviours is the correct response.
In this way, the silence that the porn stars portray in response to the violence is a direct affront to the freedom of the most vulnerable in our society.
Porn also threatens the freedom of all people to express their sexuality in a way that is meaningful for them.
With porn becoming the norm and the default sex education for our children, we are becoming programmed to think that the scenarios and behaviours of the actors are what human sexuality is all about.
But as we have heard, humans are complex, emotional beings, and each of our bodies, brains and spirits is unique and beautiful. By seeing only superficial physical gratification we are silencing the wonder that is human sexuality, and this is to the detriment of the entire human race.
There is no dignity with the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little
-Pope John Paul II
Porn Prevents Human Evolution
Evolution is defined as: a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state GROWTH[viii]
Everything that we have just heard about porn proves that it is not a tool for human evolution. It is keeping us simple, preventing the flourishing of human relationships, and impeding the understanding of our full human sexuality.
Moreover, it works to continue the suppression of women, and facilitate violence toward children, which is maintaining a cruel status quo. Porn does nothing to help humans move to a higher or better state of existence. It is not doing anything to assist us to understand our full potential, to grow and bring love and compassion into the world.
It is destroying lives and families, and so has caused much more harm than pleasure or entertainment.
Perhaps the only benefit that porn has provided is by providing a clear example of what we are not.
Our modern generations are shocked and appalled at the terror created by the Nazi regime, and yet within Germany at the time it was not only accepted but supported.
Similarly, the Iraqi invasion seemed justified in 2003.
Now many Americans feel deep regret for the pain and suffering that the eight-year war created.
In my naïve optimism, I can only hope that the world is slowly waking up to the cruel consequences that porn has for individuals and our society.
I truly hope that this is the beginning of one hard lesson learned and that the outcome is greater intelligence and support for those previously silenced.
Belinda is an author, producer and strategist who fearlessly explores the dualities of the head and the heart. She writes in the fields of self-development, sexuality, spirituality, intimate relationships and organisational growth. In all of her work, Belinda calls on us to develop a greater level of awareness, understanding and self-compassion, and to use this to transform fear into actions of love. Her first book The Addiction Healing Pathway is available everywhere, and her next bold project – The Moral Dilemma of Monogamy will be out 2023. Belinda is soon to be a featured presenter in a cornerstone TED Talk on the state of human sexuality – and its repression in the digital age
Citations
[i] Dumb Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster
[ii] Quayle and Taylor, “Child Pornography and the Internet” as quoted in Dines, G. (2011). Portland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality (1st ed.). Beacon Press. Page 159.
[iii] Havey, A., Puccio, D., & Thomas, K. S. (2017). Sex, Likes and Social Media: Talking to Our Teens in the Digital Age. Vermilion. Page 94.
[iv] Lis, L. (2020). No Shame: Real Talk With Your Kids About Sex, Self-Confidence, and Healthy Relationships. Page 151.
[v] In the western world, yellow is the colour of cowardice
[vi] Bridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Sun, C., & Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women, 16(10), 1065–1085. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801210382866
[vii] https://engage.dss.gov.au/draft-national-plan-to-end-violence-against-women-and-children-2022-2032/