Missy Jubilee. Never Fucking Get Caught Mixxxtape

This is the rough draft that became the film 'Peep Show'

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. 

I, on the other hand, make mixxxtapes to stop bad energy jumping over my perimeter safety fence in an attempt to kidnap me and take me from illusional, towards in-conclusional

My coping strategy is to Never Fucking Get Caught in its grasp again

But sometimes, more often than not, the appearance of coping beats me, and the brass tacks holding together a splintered personality rust away 

As iron is eaten away by rust, slowly & consistently

As negative energy is consumed
by its own anger

As one could consider oneself lucky
if the dark energy holds your eyes
to the fire
and helps you see
what makes your
tick

Go tock

Music is my tock....it hovers around me like a fairy with steel toe boots

Because hearing all the clever philosophy
and reading all the wise books
doesn't amount to a hill of change
if the walk isn't walked

This isn't about my parents. They are a symptom, not the cause

This is about something much grander in the scheme of things

It is about the abduction, torture, rape and attempted murder of my hope for happiness

When the black cloud tries to consume me and bring me down to its subterranean level, I escape from it by locking myself in the studio for days at a time

I have found a formula that works for me over the last two years. If I create, the energy can't touch me. Creation is the only antidote to its destructive energy

You might hear the antidote in the music

It is me shouting back - 'Fuck off, I won't let you into me anymore'

I have no idea what the motivation of the energy is - since it looks a lot like a scorched earth policy of loneliness, but I know kindness, compassion & understanding are not part of its raison d'être

I think loneliness
could be considered an extreme sport
If we had a psychological olympic games

It is not a sport I want to excel at

So I step around the dark mass blocking my way, and repeat my dot-pointed short list of big shit to conquer manta, over and over:

1. stay calm

2. stay centred

3. create

It is not a big, hairy, audacious plan for success - because at this point, surviving is my only strategy as I am being squeezed by shadows

All I have is a concept as a goal

Do not take on the energy of bitter resentment. Simply transform it into resolve

Resolve, to leave the me it wants me to be

peripatetic/adjective: walking or traveling about; itinerant

What are my chances of success against the relentless onslaught?

1. being open to it
2. believing it is possible
3. being unrealistic might help

This music is a little purging for me, and a little something for your commute. 

Swipe right for happy

A new year. A new me. A new remix

One day at a time

I keep telling myself bodyheat is a sign of winning