Missy Jubilee. 041. Then (NSFW version)

Missy Jubilee. 041. Then. Transcript

I Can’t Forget The Words You Never Said”

 Then

 A Short Film By Missy Jubilee

 Episode 41 Of 250 Of The Future Sex Love Art Projekt

 Then

 The Post Pussification Of A Deviant Mind

 20th September 2014 Home

 I Went To A Very Dark Place Then

 I Have Just Come Back Now

 And I Made That Film Called This In Ten Minutes That’s About Back Then

 I Understand Where I Went To A Moment In Time And I Lived In That Moment Again For A

 Long Collection Of Moments Like I Have All My Life From The Inside Out

 It Was A Tormented Moment Where My Brain Broke Way Back Then And The Universe

 Cracked In Sympathy

 Cause Why Try Any More With Your Brain All Broken Because You Didn’t Fight Back

 Against The Shame

 I Recognized I Had Seen It

 This

 This Place

 Two Times Before Back Then

 But This Time This Third Time I Fought Back Possessed Like I Didn’t Back Then

 But You Walked In Front Of My Possession When I Asked My Mother To Take

 Responsibility For Her Words When I Was 12

 But She Wouldn’t And You Wouldn’t Because You Wouldn’t Be Her

 And This Time It Wasn’t Going To Be Ok Again

 I Wasn't Going Down One More Time For The Rest Of My Life Alone Again

 My Learned Patterns Rotting My Brain All This Time Ignited By The Sound Of An

 Elephant’s Back Breaking With The Last Straw You Piled On

 Waking A Butterfly In The Amazon And Chaos Theory Knocked On My Door

 Hello Little Miss Insane She Said

 A Delivery From Amazon Prime A Word For Your Ear

 My Dear Just Some Of That Same Old Pain Again

 Something Unfair Said Once Again Without The Touch Of Love Or Sympathy Or

 Compassion By My Mother Through You To Me

 That Broke Me That Time Then Back Then

 So This Time Ii Had To Break Her Power Over Me To Live Again

 So At Least We Would Have Pain In Common For The Rest Of Our Memories

 I Came Back To Reality At Dusk Today

 This Time 5.10pm Only Just Hit Me.

 This.

 Then.

 I Had Been On A Road Trip To Hell With My Doppelganger Again

 But This Time Was Different Because I Made Noted And I Saw Everything While She Was

 Fanning The Flame Of Her Insanity That Was Mine

 I Left Breadcrumbs Reversed So I Know The Way Back In Time Without No More Wrong

 Signs

 I’m Rehearsed And Now Well Versed In The Knowledge That I Love You Because I Made

 You Suffer

 Like Me

 And I Saw What I Had Done Because Your Pain Was Mine Asking One Question That I

 Asked My Mother Again & Again

 Why Are You Doing This To Me? Please?

 I’m Sorry You Were My Hitcher In This Terrible Road Picture

 So I Made A Pretty Upside Down One Instead

 One Of Us Being Our Moment In Time And That Was This.

 It’s The Opposite Of Then.

 Because You Held My Hand And Didn’t Let Go Like The Rest

 No Matter How Hard I Tried To Make You Break Like Me

 Written One Hour After Coming Out Of A 48 Hour Psychotic Episode

 20th September 2014

 I Still Fight To Hold On. And Fight To Let Go.

 But On This Day I Stopped Blaming Myself.

 It Was An Unplanned Episode. Sometimes You Have To Flo With The Go

 Transcript Provided By Bernie Glynn