My grandmother was committed to a mental institution by my mother. My mother was 21. My grandmother was 45. My mother then signed the papers that resulted in my grandmother having a lobotomy. She died 17 years later. A human emotionless vegetable.
Do I make these films to escape my grandmothers fate?. Maybe. Because if I had lived when she did, my thoughts could have drawn me to the same fate.
Maybe I'm giving myself a lobotomy before any one else can get to me. Maybe I'm trying to heal. Maybe these thoughts just need to come out of my brain. I know I have opportunities that my grandmother didn't.
Intro: Flume - What You Need
Main: Wiz Kalifa Oz's & Lb's
Credits: Moby - Dream About Me
My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:
are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?
of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.
I'm scared that I might be my grandmother.