Boom. Yes, I think that about sums it up. I could conclude here but where would be the fun in that?
The poem you sent, not on this email but on the ill fated other one, I think was rather beautiful. When I first started watching Sunshine I stated aloud in my best Austin Powers voice ‘She’s got her mojo back’.
A return to the dunes, a toe dip in the ocean. Autumn here so spring there, I am guessing this is archive footage but with you I never can tell.
You hypothesised that not all is perfect in mr and mrs land, and of course you are right. Nobody has a perfect relationship. For our part, well... I love my wife very much…. But like every other couple on earth (with the possible exception of Ken & Barbie) we argue. A fair bit. But we still love each other. And that’s what counts. We hold hands, we talk, we argue, we sulk, I get moody, she gets moody, we both get moody, we make up, we laugh. Doesn’t everybody?
We have more ups than downs, else what would be the point?
Are we compatible? No. I can say that because I love kissing her neck, and she hates it. I love oral sex (both giving and receiving) but she hates both. I like seeing her naked, but she is shy (which is why when she does show herself to me, it is always a pleasure). (Never say I am not at least attempting to match your honesty and openness). Which brings me neatly round to the pervert argument.
Having thought about this a bit, I am not sure I agree with your hypothesis. You are not a pervert, even by proxy. You cannot turn this on it’s head. By being naked around men who enjoy looking at naked women you are meeting a need, and maybe that need works both ways (only you can answer that one). But neither the voyeur nor the exposed are perverts. My definition of a pervert would be someone who say, tries to look up you skirt, or down your blouse/shirt brazenly, maybe stares at your tits for far too long without acknowledging your face.
All men are of course perverts because we all do that given the opportunity (whether you are aware or not), but something tells me that most modern girls/women are more than aware - thank you, and could you please all stop once and awhile? It is probably a bit tiresome, and at times annoying.
I guess, it is like when you are 15 and you get all the sly brushes of the hand on your body from schoolboys, with the odd cheeky grope thrown in. It is fine for a while, then becomes a liberty, then bloody annoying (I would imagine). Perhaps I am wrong, I am only hypothesising myself on a subject I have only read and heard about not experienced first hand. So to speak. It is perhaps a feminist argument again. One where women should not be objectified in this manner, where the look of a woman should not override your judgement of her intelligence.
We live in a human zoo. We spend the best part of our days thinking up ways of escaping. Up over the wall and a mad dash for it. Metaphorically speaking. And that is what this is all about. Escapism. Oh yes, you have set me straight on your project. I am always getting things wrong. Not your vulnerabilities (as I suggested) it is about your sexuality.
I hope you feel something cathartic about your writing, It would explain why you are so good at it. Getting some of these thoughts and ideas off your chest. Your writing has become better and better over the series, and is now superb.
If it is ok with you, I would very much like to continue to perve at your videos. Surreptitious like. Whilst you are not looking. I would also like to lightly brush my eyes over your words. I hope you don’t mind.
As Terry Pratchett would say; maybe its big horse i’m a londoner.
Big horse? Nay lad.