What is time? Does it go too fast? Or too slow.? I struggle also as a semi-retire LA photog who wants to get back, get modern with video production. Sadly, right now I am dealing with a wife in late-end stage dementia and she is my first concern. But I know life belongs to the living and I intend to live it as long as I can. One part of that will be to continue to follow you, with only good hopes.
But I wonder about your searching and your conflict with your parents. This is why I asked, on your website, if you have thought/explored your lesbian part. I also hope you will not be too harsh on your parents until you have been one for at least 5 years. I think maybe then you will have more (greater?) insight.
May the gods of good fortune guide you. I hope to see the results.