by Producer Alan Rogers in London
There are are huge injustices in this world. One thing we cannot do is fight them all. We have to sweat the small stuff, and hope the bigger stuff takes care of itself.
I am reading a book by self confessed leather dyke; Pat Califa called ‘Public Sex’. It was written in the era of Aids and was a humane effort to bring to light how politicians and law enforcement agencies spent far too much effort and resource trying to discredit, and if possible arrest anyone performing anything other than vanilla heterosexual sex behind closed doors as a means of stopping the disease, when empathy, free condoms, and free needles would have gone far further and cost less.
But we know how this one goes. Its a fight that we continue to live with today.
Teen Pubescence
She makes some interesting points about the age of consent too. She is also a survivor of sexual abuse, but views the experience very differently to most victims. She does not shy away from the damage it has caused, but recognises sexuality in children, arguing that eroticism is present from birth, but that consent cannot be given for sexual experimentation until a being understands what they are consenting to.
The knowledge and understanding element is critical to this argument, as it is generally
judged that children’s understanding cannot be relied upon until they reach adulthood.
But the age at which children develop is not universal. It is likely to be much lower than the present laws dictate, but should remain high enough to protect the slow developers. I think we can all agree that education is the key here though. We need to arm our children with good sexual knowledge far earlier than we are currently comfortable with; know that sexuality is innocent (but there) in all children, but is not meant as an invitation, just a way of learning to express themselves.
Early teen pubescence will result in children becoming genital focused and experimenting with theirs and their peers genitals (naturally) whether we like it or not.
The important thing is to stop adults getting involved until consent is not only possible, but understood by all, We should protect the children more than we do. Particularly girls, who statistically suffer abuse far more than boys, and endure sexualisation by adults far younger than they should.
Chastity Leathers
The video opens with a girl in biker leathers trying to remove her chastity belt with an angle grinder. How apt. She must be desperate. Let’s hope the girl did not eat onions before the shoot, one fart and with that many sparks, her trousers will be on fire.
The poet Tom Waites sings us awake. He asks what we all want to know (including Missy), how’s it going to end?.
In the background to Tom’s growly delivery we see an overlay of public going about their business, with a naked masturbating Missy. The colour palette flickers between red and orange.
Roll Film
A desk appears upon which several things are arranged
TITLES
A French cartoon sketch book appears.
Always been a big fan of the comic book. Absolutely love the realism and creativity of Milo Manara. I have collected his works for years.
“Look, I was going to go easy on you, not to hurt your feelings” (Eminem dressed up as Max Headroom – or as we say in Britain…Keir Starmer).
Sound of ringing in ears after an explosion.
An orange coloured room appears with a backlit woman. She straightens her hair.
A FILM ABOUT LIVING INSIDE THE HOT CRAZY MATRIX
Now I know what this is…. And believe me I find the whole concept so absurdly offensive that it is hilarious…I believe you are trying to prove how crazy you are, just to show that you register 10/10 on the hot/crazy matrix.
‘I can feel it….like somethings about to happen…’
Molotov cocktail is thrown through a window.
Sound of breaking glass.
‘On our plate tonight is an analogue horror series burned from an alternative reality gone awry’
SPONSORS
Rocket launch.
Michael Caine as Alfred talking to Christian Bale as Batman:
‘Some men just want to watch the world burn’
CHOOSING MY OWN DIRECTION WAS SCARY
‘The question is…why?’
FOR OTHERS
Close up on lips singing:
‘When we have fun’
‘Tell me you’ve never seen my face before?’
VHS style ‘PLAY’ infographic against blue screen, then Missy’s eyes of almost violet hue appear looking over
An extreme close up of a match head.
FIRE WANTS TO BURN. CHAOS WANTS TO DEVOUR
‘I have seen you before…in a dream’
Missy appears. We are looking up at her. She appears to have wet hair and is naked. It is not clear where we are but we can probably assume the beach which would explain the hair.
She is almost a silhouette against the sky. There are palm trees to the side. An overlay of fire igniting into a ball can be seen.
EACH OF US IS BORN WITH A BOX OF MATCHES INSIDE US
‘Do you trust me?’
‘Is that a joke’
‘There’s something seriously wrong with you’
BUT LOVE, LIKE FIRE & CHAOS, GOES OUT WITHOUT FUEL
The overlay of fire turns to show the building into which the Molotov cocktail was thrown, now burning through the window. Missy has disappeared.
‘The first precept, is you will not inflict harm on any human being.’
Close up of match head again.
Burning photo of man holding a child on a wall.
HOLD OUT YOUR EAR
And let the breath of Venus warm your tender sensibilities.
‘Feel I’ve left out some important information …but that’s the gist of it’
Back to the burning building.
Man holding a mobile phone whilst wearing sunglasses in the dark.
Close up of an eye. Tinges of hazelnut.
AND CATCH A FEW WHISPERS
‘Death, it frightens me and this is the basis of my inspiration’
Crazed man appears with very deep bags under his eyes, looking exhausted against a night cityscape which is blurred. Saying: ‘I thought you were just excited about the idea’
Close up of eye looking through keyhole.
‘You’re the one with the problem, not me’
Back to manic man:
*Laughing
IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH FIRE
Person drawing a woman smoking a cigarette.
Tom starts lamenting again… ‘How’s it going to end’
DON’T EXPECT TO GET OUT UNSCATHED
I think you mean that if anyone falls in love with you, then expect to get burned, this is self-deprecation to a new level.
Close up of a lighter being struck.
‘I’ve just got one piece of bad news for you Robbins’
‘What’s that?’
Close up of puppet Team America member saying:
‘I’m a smoker’
Rumbling sound.
Naked Missy appears before blinded windows, almost in silhouette. Purplish tone.
CUE THE HARP MUSIC AND THE CHOIR
Close up of Tim Robbins puppet looking gormless.
CUE THE BURNING PYRE
Puppet Team America member throws puppet cigarette at fuel covered Tim Robbins puppet, which immediately bursts into flames
*Screams unconvincingly
Close up of a Barbie sign saying ‘REAL WORLD THIS WAY’
*Wooohooo
Aboriginal sounds. Black screen.
27TH OCTOBER 2019 CRESCENT HEAD AUSTRALIA
Are we back to sanity now?
An old-fashioned ink pen dips into glass ink bottle the rest of the desk is in soft focus, dark sepia tones.
WRITING IS EASY
YOU JUST PICK UP A PEN
The pen is used to write in a book. Same sepia tones.
‘I had a vision, people burning, everything destroyed’
AND BLEED ON THE PAGE
Older man with unusually dark hair blows at us from in front of what looks like a blackboard. And laughingly says:
‘The wind of God (The wind of God), on you’
So the answer is ‘no’ then…insanity continues.
Black screen..piano notes…
THE DESIRE FOR CONTROL IS UNSETTLING.
KNOWLEDGE OF EVERYTHING ISN’T POSSIBLE
UNLESS YOU DICTATE THE CHOICES
‘The Mandino (not sure how to spell that) is a species of flowering plant native to Eastern Asia’
We see a man pick some leaves off a bush, hold them close to his nose, close his eyes and inhale.
‘The smell at certain times of the year gives you a real buzz’
Hint that some of the craziness is drug induced?
A house a night. Barely lit chair and book table with cup on it. Then Man at desk writng.
‘Like the buzz you get….
Screen goes black
…just before pulling the trigger…’
Man (in black and orange) holding out a gun and firing it.
Close up of very distressed blonde woman in black and white screaming, holding her ears then turning away.
*Screams
Screen goes black.
Drums.
DO YOU EVER GET THE FEELING GOD IS THINKING ‘I THINK IT’S TIME TO REBOOT’
Shakespeare’s Sister’s ‘Stay’ plays, but sung by someone I do not recognise.
At first I thought you had just slowed the original to make it sound like it was a man, but I think this is an actual man singing.
Missy’s face comes into view. Purplish pink hue. We see her lips, then her eyes. It looks like the same shot shown earlier, but we see she is standing in front of a field…she may still be on a beach… we can only see in one direction.
LIFE IS LONELINESS
DESPITE ALL THE OPIATES
DESPITE THE TINSEL GAIETY
The camera travels down her face, and across to a bare shoulder.
WITH NO PURPOSE
The camera pulls way to show Missy’s neck and lower half of her face.
DESPITE THE FALSE GRINNING FACES
WE ALL WEAR
Missy leans down, her hair falling into her face a she does so, towards the camera but just to the left of the lens. Camera phone?
WHEN AT LAST YOU FIND SOMEONE
Close up of Missy’s eyes, with an overlay of a man holding his head in his hands
TO WHOM YOU FEEL
YOU CAN POUR OUT YOUR SOUL
Camera moves downwards so that Missy’s curtain of hair reveals a white sky and we see she is topless. The man continues to hold his head in the overlay
YOU STOP IN SHOCK
It is clear now that Missy has put the camera on the floor and is now shooting up her her naked torso from below. Her wet hair is blown by the wind in a tangle. The man continues to look depressed.
AT THE WORDS YOU UTTER
THEY ARE SO RUSTY
Missy stretches her arms above her head and arcs her back in a luscul stretch. She is naked. We are looking up her body past her sex and belly to the underside of her breasts. The man is still there.
SO UGLY
The man moves and the overlay becomes blurred which in turn obscures Missy’s sex while she sways with
her hands behind her head, as we stare up between her legs.
SO MEANINGLESS
SO FEEBLE
Missy lowers her arms, while the man is seen singing the song being played.
FROM BEING KEPT
IN A SMALL CRAMPED DARK ROOM
Missy leans down so we see only the top half of her body. Her face remains obscured by the tangle of wet hair.
INSIDE YOU
Missy fondles her right breast. Then arches her back so we see between her legs. Her right hand comes down from her breast towards her sex. Her left hand has found her sex from behind between her legs.
FOR SO LONG
Missy looks down at us while she explores her sex.
THE LONELINESS OF THE SOUL
The man continues to sing in overlay as Missy starts to masturbate. She is seen in almost silhouette against the white sky. Nipples erect.
AND IT’S APPALLING SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
IS HORRIBLE AND OVERPOWERING
YES
Missy grips her sex with both hands, leaning back , she all but disappears from view, giving us a blurred but close up view of the man singing against the sky.
I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU
She quickly sways forward showing both hands cupping her sex, her index fingers pushing towards her
clitoris. She sways back again.
NO-ONE HAS EVER HEIGHTENED
SUCH EMOTIONAL INTENSITY IN ME
Missy is lost in the moment, masturbating with her right hand, to give herself more pleasure.
BUT TO GIVE YOU MY TRUST
I MUST FIRST GIVE YOU
MY THOUGHTS
Her left hand now moves towards her opening, Toying with herself, as she continues to use her right hand to masturbate.
MY MIND
MY DREAMS
Her right hand is now dipping into her wetness to lubricate the masturbation, The eyes of the man are
shown looking into the camera.
MY PAIN
MY FEARS
BUT YOU WANTED NOTHING OF THOSE
I HAD BEEN CONVENIENT ALL ALONG
I JUST HADN’T REALISED IT
Missy removes her fingers from herself move off to the left of the camera.
SO I WILL JUST CONTINUE TO CREATE
AND DESCRIBE IT WELL IN GOOD SENTENCES
Missy appears to be climbing over the camera, as a way of giving the camera a better view of her sex.
WRITING IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR MYSELF
A WAY OF REORDERING THE CHAOS
THAT WAS DANGEROUSLY CLOSE
The camera pans up her body to her breasts just as the song fades.
Screen goes black.
DEDICATED TO SYLVIA PLATH
Yes you have quoted Plath, but made the words your own. Very nicely done Ms Jubilee. This is a
heartbreaking poem.
A sweaty looking man (actor) I do not recognise appears looking to the left of the camera. It is dark and he is lit from behind. Purple/Pink hues. He says:
‘There was one man’
*Beep
Screen goes purple.
Snippet of music.
A bearded Chris Pratt in Black and Orange appears saying:
‘Yeah…I don’t know…l mean I’m gonna have to find something in my real life on which to draw….ok I got it…’
Man appears in front of whiteboard. He is slightly overweight, slightly balding and wearing wire rimmed
glasses. He is wearing casual trousers with a white shirt.
He addresses the camera saying:
‘Ok so this is the universal hot crazy matrix it is everything a young man needs to know about women… I developed this myself…aRer 46 years of living on the earth…so this is how it works…He turns and draws two axis on the whiteboard
The biggest joke here is not the fact that the man is an uglier version of Michael Scott from the Office USA, but more that he is sincere in his delivery of his hypothesis.
I guess it is no more crazy than some of the bizarre rules and laws the patriarchy has inflicted on women all over the world, and is certainly less harmful… but as they sing in that Avenue Q song…’racist jokes may be uncouth, but we laugh because they’re based on truth’…
TITLES
You have your crazy axis and your hot axis…hot is as usual measured from zero to ten… we are all familiar with that… crazy is measured from four to ten because of course there is no such thing as a woman that is not at least a four crazy…
Camera adjusts to get a better look at what he is drawing.
So you’ve got four to ten..this is your hot/crazy line right here…
Draws a linear line from 0 hot 4 Crazy to 10 hot, 10 Crazy.
it’s very important that you keep in mind where the hot/crazy line is….as a rule…
He writes 5 halfway along the Hot axis and draws a vertical line straight up bisecting the hot/crazy line.
this is your no-go zone…we do not hang around…and date… and marry women that are not at least in our
mind, a five…He starts to hash in the area to the left of the line he has just drawn and labels this area with the word NO GO.
…so this is your no-go zone, we just rule it out… life is better this way…that’s the way it is..alright?… above a five and to about an eight …
He draws a line from the hot/crazy line down to the hot axis where he writes the number eight.
…and below the crazy line, this is your fun zone…you can hang out here and, and, and er..meet these girls
and spend time with them…
He labels this area ‘Fun Zone’.
.that’s your fun zone…but keep in mind that when you’re in the fun zone..you want to move out of the fun zone to a more permanent location…ok…um…so that’s the fun zone…above a five…hot… and below an eight..hot.. and below the crazy line…this means that these are…most of the time…not crazy..ok?…above the danger zone… above the.. ah…above the crazy line..
He writes above the hot/crazy line to the right of the midpoint hot line the label ‘Danger Zone’.
…we have the danger zone…this is your redheads…your strippers…anyone named Tiffany..um…*swallows…(hairdressers)..hairdressers….this is where…this is where your car gets keyed…you get a bunny in the
pot…your tyres get slashed..and you wind up in jail..um..now… now we have some of the chart filled in…we have a couple of pieces left to put in…but at this point..understand something… this is not a static environment…this is a situation where you have got to …ah…use this matrix over time to develop some reliable data…it’s like a dope chart . .ok?…you…want. ..because at any moment in time…any women that you have previously located on this chart can vanish…from that location…and appear anywhere else …on the chart..so what you have to do is over time..collect some data…and once you have a cluster of datapoints you can consider that reliable…now…moving on..
He draws a horizontal line at around 7 crazy to the right of the line from 8 hot to the hot/crazy line.
you have this zone here… this is below the crazy line…above an eight hot.. but still about a seven crazy…this your date zone…
He labels the top part of the two zones left, ‘Date Zone’.
…you can stay in the date zone indefinitely…these are women you introduce to your friends and your family…um..there..there good looking and they are reasonably not crazy most of the time… ok..so listen..you can stay here indefinitely…now ..
He draws a horizontal line to divide the one remaining zone into two.
This is around 5 crazy and between and 10 hot…above an eight hot.. and between about a seven and a five crazy..this your wife zone.. ok..
…when you meet this girl …you should consider a long term relationship…ah.. this zone is not scaled to size..this is …this…this is a representation and not an actual..this not a pie chart showing you how many of these people are out there…this is simply a representation of what you’re after…you want to be five or seven crazy above an eight hot..that’s your wife zone.. now… below a five crazy and above an eight hot.. this is your unicorn zone…these things don’t exist….(women laughing)
He labels the one remaining zone ‘Unicorns’.
….if you find a unicorn..please capture it safely…keep it alive…we’d like to study it and look at how to replicate that…(sniggering)
ok…so I was explaining this to a guy one time and he said ‘wait a minute..I met this girl..and she’s smoking hot..she’s at least a nine.. and she’s like chill…she’s totally cool…she’s not like even a three crazy’…
I said you’re telling me…you’ve met a girl…she’s a nine hot.. and she’s like two or three
crazy?…he said ‘yeah man…I like her a lot’…
I said you should be careful…that’s a dude…you’re talking to a tranny…(laughter) so you got your…you’ve got to be careful…cos..down here…below a four crazy and above an eight hot…your’e probably talking to a dude…that is the universal hot/crazy matrix’.
I very much liked the feel of this film, it is driven by the final lecture.
There is a frantic start where images and sounds are thrown like fireworks, then settles into a middle section giving your erotic take on Plath, slowing further down to the final lecture in full.
Given no context to the lecture it is up to us to decide whether it is a comedian playing to an audience, or someone who truly believes in what he is saying.
I researched it a little and found the original video comes from a series of tactical response (shots fired) lectures from a Tennessee gun lover called James Yeager, and realised this guy is not only deadly serious (he believes what he is saying is true), but he is joined by other ‘people’ who also believe what he is saying is true. Unbelievable.
The world is mad. That much we know. We are on a flight path to destruction and the patriarchy wants to arm itself and categorise half the population as submissive to its needs in readiness. Jeez Louise.
These really are un-evolved Neanthethals.
There are are huge injustices in this world. One thing we cannot do is fight them all. We have to sweat
the small stuff, and hope the bigger stuff takes care of itself.
I am reading a book by self confessed leather dyke; Pat Califa called ‘Public Sex’. It was written in the
era of Aids and was a humane effort to bring to light how politicians and law enforcement agencies
spent far too much effort and resource trying to discredit, and if possible arrest anyone performing
anything other than vanilla heterosexual sex behind closed doors as a means of stopping the disease,
when empathy, free condoms, and free needles would have gone far further and cost less.
But we know how this one goes. Its a fight that we continue to live with today.
Teen Pubescence
She makes some interesting points about the age of consent too. She is also a survivor of sexual abuse,
but views the experience very differently to most victims. She does not shy away from the damage it
has caused, but recognises sexuality in children, arguing that eroticism is present from birth, but that
consent cannot be given for sexual experimentation until a being understands what they are
consenting to.
The knowledge and understanding element is critical to this argument, as it is generally
judged that children’s understanding cannot be relied upon until they reach adulthood.
But the age at which children develop is not universal. It is likely to be much lower than the present laws dictate, but should remain high enough to protect the slow developers. I think we can all agree that education is the key here though. We need to arm our children with good sexual knowledge far earlier than we are currently comfortable with; know that sexuality is innocent (but there) in all children, but is not meant as an invitation, just a way of learning to express themselves.
Early teen pubescence will result in children becoming genital focused and experimenting with theirs and their peers genitals (naturally) whether we like it or not.
The important thing is to stop adults getting involved until consent is not only possible, but understood by all, We should protect the children more than we do. Particularly girls, who statistically suffer abuse far more than boys, and endure sexualisation by adults far younger than they should.
Chastity Leathers
The video opens with a girl in biker leathers trying to remove her chastity belt with an angle grinder. How
apt. She must be desperate. Let’s hope the girl did not eat onions before the shoot, one fart and with that
many sparks, her trousers will be on fire.
The poet Tom Waites sings us awake. He asks what we all want to know (including Missy), how’s it going to end?.
In the background to Tom’s growly delivery we see an overlay of public going about their business, with a
naked masturbating Missy. The colour palette flickers between red and orange.
Roll Film
A desk appears upon which several things are arranged
TITLES
A French cartoon sketch book appears.
TITLES
A French cartoon sketch book appears.
Always been a big fan of the comic book. Absolutely love the realism and creativity of Milo Manara. I
have collected his works for years.
“Look, I was going to go easy on you, not to hurt your feelings” (Eminem dressed up as Max Headroom – or as we say in Britain…Keir Starmer).
Sound of ringing in ears after an explosion.
An orange coloured room appears with a backlit woman. She straightens her hair.
A FILM ABOUT LIVING INSIDE THE HOT CRAZY MATRIX
Now I know what this is…. And believe me I find the whole concept so absurdly offensive that it is
hilarious…I believe you are trying to prove how crazy you are, just to show that you register 10/10 on
the hot/crazy matrix.
‘I can feel it….like somethings about to happen…’
Molotov cocktail is thrown through a window.
Sound of breaking glass.
‘On our plate tonight is an analogue horror series burned from an alternative reality gone awry’
SPONSORS
Rocket launch.
Michael Caine as Alfred talking to Christian Bale as Batman:
‘Some men just want to watch the world burn’
CHOOSING MY OWN DIRECTION WAS SCARY
‘The question is…why?’
FOR OTHERS
Close up on lips singing:
‘When we have fun’
‘Tell me you’ve never seen my face before?’
VHS stlyee ‘PLAY’ infographic against blue screen, then Missy’s eyes of almost violet hue appear looking over
An extreme close up of a match head.
FIRE WANTS TO BURN. CHAOS WANTS TO DEVOUR
‘I have seen you before…in a dream’
Missy appears. We are looking up at her. She appears to have wet hair and is naked. It is not clear where we are but we can probably assume the beach which would explain the hair.
She is almost a silhouette against the sky. There are palm trees to the side. An overlay of fire igniting into a ball can be seen.
EACH OF US IS BORN WITH A BOX OF MATCHES INSIDE US
‘Do you trust me?’
‘Is that a joke’
‘There’s something seriously wrong with you’
BUT LOVE, LIKE FIRE & CHAOS, GOES OUT WITHOUT FUEL
The overlay of fire turns to show the building into which the Molotov cocktail was thrown, now burning
through the window. Missy has disappeared.
‘The first precept, is you will not inflict harm on any human being.’
Close up of match head again.
Burning photo of man holding a child on a wall.
HOLD OUT YOUR EAR
And let the breath of Venus warm your tender sensibilities.
‘Feel I’ve left out some important information …but that’s the gist of it’
Back to the burning building.
Man holding a mobile phone whilst wearing sunglasses in the dark.
Close up of an eye. Tinges of hazelnut.
AND CATCH A FEW WHISPERS
‘Death, it frightens me and this is the basis of my inspiration’
Crazed man appears with very deep bags under his eyes, looking exhausted against a night cityscape which is blurred. Saying:
‘I thought you were just excited about the idea’
Close up of eye looking through keyhole.
‘You’re the one with the problem, not me’
Back to manic man:
*Laughing
IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH FIRE
Person drawing a woman smoking a cigarette.
Tom starts lamenting again… ‘How’s it going to end’
DON’T EXPECT TO GET OUT UNSCATHED
I think you mean that if anyone falls in love with you, then expect to get burned, this is self deprecation
to a new level.
Close up of a lighter being struck.
‘I’ve just got one piece of bad news for you Robbins’
‘What’s that?’
Close up of puppet Team America member saying:
‘I’m a smoker’
Rumbling sound.
Naked Missy appears before blinded windows, almost in silhouette. Purplish tone.
CUE THE HARP MUSIC AND THE CHOIR
Close up of Tim Robbins puppet looking gormless.
CUE THE BURNING PYRE
Puppet Team America member throws puppet cigarette at fuel covered Tim Robbins puppet, which
immediately bursts into flames
*Screams unconvincingly
Close up of a Barbie sign saying ‘REAL WORLD THIS WAY’
*Wooohooo
Aboriginal sounds. Black screen.
27TH OCTOBER 2019 CRESCENT HEAD AUSTRALIA
Are we back to sanity now?
An old fashioned ink pen dips into glass ink bottle the rest of the desk is in soft focus, dark sepia tones.
WRITING IS EASY
YOU JUST PICK UP A PEN
The pen is used to write in a book. Same sepia tones.
‘I had a vision, people burning, everything destroyed’
AND BLEED ON THE PAGE
Older man with unusually dark hair blows at us from in front of what looks like a blackboard. And laughingly says:
‘The wind of God (The wind of God), on you’
So the answer is ‘no’ then…insanity continues.
Black screen..piano notes…
THE DESIRE FOR CONTROL IS UNSETTLING.
KNOWLEDGE OF EVERYTHING ISN’T POSSIBLE
UNLESS YOU DICTATE THE CHOICES
‘The Mandino (not sure how to spell that) is a species of flowering plant native to Eastern Asia’
We see a man pick some leaves off a bush, hold them close to his nose, close his eyes and inhale.
‘The smell at certain times of the year gives you a real buzz’
Hint that some of the craziness is drug induced?
A house a night. Barely lit chair and book table with cup on it. Then Man at desk writng.
‘Like the buzz you get….
Screen goes black
…just before pulling the trigger…’
Man (in black and orange) holding out a gun and firing it.
Close up of very distressed blonde woman in black and white screaming, holding her ears then turning away.
*Screams
Screen goes black.
Drums.
DO YOU EVER GET THE FEELING GOD IS THINKING ‘I THINK IT’S TIME TO REBOOT’
Shakespeare’s Sister’s ‘Stay’ plays, but sung by someone I do not recognise.
At first I thought you had just slowed the original to make it sound like it was a man, but I think this is an actual man singing.
Missy’s face comes into view. Purplish pink hue. We see her lips, then her eyes. It looks like the same shot
shown earlier, but we see she is standing in front of a field…she may still be on a beach… we can only see in one directon.
LIFE IS LONELINESS
DESPITE ALL THE OPIATES
DESPITE THE TINSEL GAIETY
The camera travels down her face, and across to a bare shoulder.
WITH NO PURPOSE
The camera pulls way to show Missy’s neck and lower half of her face.
DESPITE THE FALSE GRINNING FACES
WE ALL WEAR
Missy leans down, her hair falling into her face a she does so, towards the camera but just to the left of the lens. Camera phone?
WHEN AT LAST YOU FIND SOMEONE
Close up of Missy’s eyes, with an overlay of a man holding his head in his hands
TO WHOM YOU FEEL
YOU CAN POUR OUT YOUR SOUL
Camera moves downwards so that Missy’s curtain of hair reveals a white sky and we see she is topless. The man continues to hold his head in the overlay
YOU STOP IN SHOCK
It is clear now that Missy has put the camera on the floor and is now shooting up her her naked torso from below. Her wet hair is blown by the wind in a tangle. The man continues to look depressed.
AT THE WORDS YOU UTTER
THEY ARE SO RUSTY
Missy stretches her arms above her head and arcs her back in a luscul stretch. She is naked. We are looking up her body past her sex and belly to the underside of her breasts. The man is still there.
SO UGLY
The man moves and the overlay becomes blurred which in turn obscures Missy’s sex while she sways with
her hands behind her head, as we stare up between her legs.
SO MEANINGLESS
SO FEEBLE
Missy lowers her arms, while the man is seen singing the song being played.
FROM BEING KEPT
IN A SMALL CRAMPED DARK ROOM
Missy leans down so we see only the top half of her body. Her face remains obscured by the tangle of wet hair.
INSIDE YOU
Missy fondles her right breast. Then arches her back so we see between her legs. Her right hand comes down from her breast towards her sex. Her left hand has found her sex from behind between her legs.
FOR SO LONG
Missy looks down at us while she explores her sex.
THE LONELINESS OF THE SOUL
The man continues to sing in overlay as Missy starts to masturbate. She is seen in almost silhouette against the white sky. Nipples erect.
AND IT’S APPALLING SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
IS HORRIBLE AND OVERPOWERING
YES
Missy grips her sex with both hands, leaning back , she all but disappears from view, giving us a blurred but close up view of the man singing against the sky.
I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU
She quickly sways forward showing both hands cupping her sex, her index fingers pushing towards her
clitoris. She sways back again.
NO-ONE HAS EVER HEIGHTENED
SUCH EMOTIONAL INTENSITY IN ME
Missy is lost in the moment, masturbating with her right hand, to give herself more pleasure.
BUT TO GIVE YOU MY TRUST
I MUST FIRST GIVE YOU
MY THOUGHTS
Her left hand now moves towards her opening, Toying with herself, as she continues to use her right hand to masturbate.
MY MIND
MY DREAMS
Her right hand is now dipping into her wetness to lubricate the masturbation, The eyes of the man are
shown looking into the camera.
MY PAIN
MY FEARS
BUT YOU WANTED NOTHING OF THOSE
I HAD BEEN CONVENIENT ALL ALONG
I JUST HADN’T REALISED IT
Missy removes her fingers from herself move off to the left of the camera.
SO I WILL JUST CONTINUE TO CREATE
AND DESCRIBE IT WELL IN GOOD SENTENCES
Missy appears to be climbing over the camera, as a way of giving the camera a better view of her sex.
WRITING IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR MYSELF
A WAY OF REORDERING THE CHAOS
THAT WAS DANGEROUSLY CLOSE
The camera pans up her body to her breasts just as the song fades.
Screen goes black.
DEDICATED TO SYLVIA PLATH
Yes you have quoted Plath, but made the words your own. Very nicely done Ms Jubilee. This is a
heartbreaking poem.
A sweaty looking man (actor) I do not recognise appears looking to the left of the camera. It is dark and he is lit from behind. Purple/Pink hues. He says:
‘There was one man’
*Beep
Screen goes purple.
Snippet of music.
A bearded Chris Pratt in Black and Orange appears saying:
‘Yeah…I don’t know…l mean I’m gonna have to find something in my real life on which to draw….ok I got it…’
Man appears in front of whiteboard. He is slightly overweight, slightly balding and wearing wire rimmed
glasses. He is wearing casual trousers with a white shirt.
He addresses the camera saying:
‘Ok so this is the universal hot crazy matrix it is everything a young man needs to know about women… I
developed this myself…aRer 46 years of living on the earth…so this is how it works…
He turns and draws two axis on the whiteboard
The biggest joke here is not the fact that the man is an uglier version of Michael Scott from the Office
USA, but more that he is sincere in his delivery of his hypothesis.
I guess it is no more crazy than some of the bizarre rules and laws the patriarchy has inflicted on women all over the world, and is certainly less harmful… but as they sing in that Avenue Q song…’racist jokes may be uncouth, but we laugh because they’re based on truth’…
TITLES
You have your crazy axis and your hot axis…hot is as usual measured from zero to ten… we are all familiar
with that… crazy is measured from four to ten because of course there is no such thing as a woman that is
not at least a four crazy…
Camera adjusts to get a better look at what he is drawing.
So you’ve got four to ten..this is your hot/crazy line right here…
Draws a linear line from 0 hot 4 Crazy to 10 hot, 10 Crazy.
it’s very important that you keep in mind where the hot/crazy line is….as a rule…
He writes 5 halfway along the Hot axis and draws a vertical line straight up bisecting the hot/crazy line.
this is your no-go zone…we do not hang around…and date… and marry women that are not at least in our
mind, a five…He starts to hash in the area to the left of the line he has just drawn and labels this area with the word NO GO.
…so this is your no-go zone, we just rule it out… life is better this way…that’s the way it is..alright?… above a five and to about an eight …
He draws a line from the hot/crazy line down to the hot axis where he writes the number eight.
…and below the crazy line, this is your fun zone…you can hang out here and, and, and er..meet these girls
and spend time with them…
He labels this area ‘Fun Zone’.
.that’s your fun zone…but keep in mind that when you’re in the fun zone..you want to move out of the fun
zone to a more permanent location…ok…um…so that’s the fun zone…above a five…hot… and below an
eight..hot.. and below the crazy line…this means that these are…most of the time…not crazy..ok?…above the danger zone… above the.. ah…above the crazy line..
He writes above the hot/crazy line to the right of the midpoint hot line the label ‘Danger Zone’.
…we have the danger zone…this is your redheads…your strippers…anyone named Tiffany..um…*swallows…
(hairdressers)..hairdressers….this is where…this is where your car gets keyed…you get a bunny in the
pot…your tyres get slashed..and you wind up in jail..um..now… now we have some of the chart filled in…we have a couple of pieces left to put in…but at this point..understand something… this is not a static
environment…this is a situation where you have got to …ah…use this matrix over time to develop some
reliable data…it’s like a dope chart . .ok?…you…want. ..because at any moment in 7me…any women that you have previously located on this chart can vanish…from that location…and appear anywhere else …on the chart..so what you have to do is over time..collect some data…and once you have a cluster of datapoints you can consider that reliable…now…moving on..
He draws a horizontal line at around 7 crazy to the right of the line from 8 hot to the hot/crazy line.
you have this zone here… this is below the crazy line…above an eight hot.. but still about a seven crazy…this your date zone…
He labels the top part of the two zones left, ‘Date Zone’.
…you can stay in the date zone indefinitely…these are women you introduce to your friends and your
family…um..there..there good looking and they are reasonably not crazy most of the time… ok..so listen..you can stay here indefinitely…now ..
He draws a horizontal line to divide the one remaining zone into two.
This is around 5 crazy and between and 10 hot…above an eight hot.. and between about a seven and a five crazy..this your wife zone.. ok..
…when you meet this girl …you should consider a long term relationship…ah.. this zone is not scaled to
size..this is …this…this is a representation and not an actual..this not a pie chart showing you how many of
these people are out there…this is simply a representation of what you’re after…you want to be five or seven crazy above an eight hot..that’s your wife zone.. now… below a five crazy and above an eight hot.. this is your unicorn zone…these things don’t exist….(women laughing)
He labels the one remaining zone ‘Unicorns’.
….if you find a unicorn..please capture it safely…keep it alive…we’d like to study it and look at how to
replicate that…(sniggering)
ok…so I was explaining this to a guy one time and he said ‘wait a minute..I met this girl..and she’s smoking hot..she’s at least a nine.. and she’s like chill…she’s totally cool…she’s not like even a three crazy’…
I said you’re telling me…you’ve met a girl…she’s a nine hot.. and she’s like two or three
crazy?…he said ‘yeah man…I like her a lot’…
I said you should be careful…that’s a dude…you’re talking to a tranny…(laughter) so you got your…you’ve got to be careful…cos..down here…below a four crazy and above an eight hot…your’e probably talking to a dude…that is the universal hot/crazy matrix’.
I very much liked the feel of this film, it is driven by the final lecture.
There is a frantic start where images and sounds are thrown like fireworks, then settles into a middle section giving your erotic take on Plath, slowing further down to the final lecture in full.
Given no context to the lecture it is up to us to decide whether it is a comedian playing to an audience,
or someone who truly believes in what he is saying.
I researched it a little and found the original video comes from a series of tactical response (shots fired) lectures from a Tennessee gun lover called James Yeager, and realised this guy is not only deadly serious (he believes what he is saying is true), but he is joined by other ‘people’ who also believe what he is saying is true. Unbelievable.
The world is mad. That much we know. We are on a flight path to destruction and the patriarchy wants
to arm itself and categorise half the population as submissive to its needs in readiness. Jeez Louise.
These really are un-evolved Neanthethals.