SCHWANG

Film No. 188 · The Future Sex Love Art Projekt

A film about inserting dicks into art

This is a film with fluttering pages somewhat higher than the grimey underbelly   It is enigmatic representation of Mother Nature's phallus, the fierce art of Jean-Michel Basquiat, and my experience with both of them   I dig on on the movements  of the penis and the psychotherapy they can initiateThey are fit for painting, all neat and tidy Their abstract form  defies conformitybut their actions define Dostoevsky's loss of control They all do their best  Big old beamsthat fuck with realityand the ownersip of such an enterprise engenders pride  like a Starship   Better than a loose cluster of components, they can flip the pages  of the Universe, and are capable of rearranging vaginas with their satisfactory comfortable formNot giving a fuck  is about as good an antidote  to any size aggravation a man may feelPrescribe that attitude to yourself Because they are not some kind of alien speciesThey are attachedto suffering individuals, locked up in insecurityinside an imaginary cagebehind bars so tightthat confidence can't get inBut they can touch another human beingIntimately.

CompletelyThe hand, the mouth and this organhave the same power of chemistry, but not the same feeling.Not the same connection Not the same truth   Nobody is an islandand the penis and the vagina are only separatedby attraction and availability Categories designedso that we may functionin an awful prison called lack of connectionPenises What are they really about?Are they sincere?

Do they seek to control? Do they love?Do they feel badly in isolation?Do they have anxiety issues?

Do they get depressed?Do they ghost, and get ghosted?No-one gets too close to understand the feelings of a penisUnlessit involves sex And nobody can control thatbecause it's not a singular calling   Sex is a form of expression easiest to imitate, and it always feels good in some part of the body.It makes something feel aliveAwakeA hologram of a desire to livea non linear lifeEnough to captivatethe fascination of othersAn erection is an invitation to turn the page with another person   Each page a metaphor   Each page a prescription   Each page a memory   So let your penis dance   Like nobody's watching   When the music is playing For ten years, project producer Alan Rogers has been doing a first impression breakdown of each film prior to release.

This 'first watch' commentary provides me with 'fresh eyes' and invaluable feedback on continuity and messaging that helps me finesse my message for each film. What you are reading are his thoughts, and his stream of consciousness, on each film as he watches it. My thanks always to Alan for helping me a better, more precise writer.

Schwang I recently listened to some of podcasts featuring a couple of your compatriots (sort of); Hannah Gadsby and DBC Pierre. The ‘sort of’ is because Gadsby is Tasmanian, and Pierre (although he was born in, and identifies himself as Australian) is a self confessed nomad that has lived almost everywhere and has almost no recognisable accent at all.

DBC Pierre is a booker prize winning author of many books, and his interview regarding his new book ‘Big Snake, Little Snake’ was interesting enough to make me want to read it. He comes across as a little bit of an Aussie Kerouac. He has a penchant for excessive living, which is charming rather than self-destructive.

And writes episodes of his rich life into his books that give then a grounding in reality. Gadsby is a remarkable woman; a stand up comedian that does not present a traditional belly laugh show. Instead she rants at the audience rather like a female Ricky Gervais. But her real passion is for Art History, where she points out the misogynistic values of what is considered great art.

Really worth a listen with your new ‘collab’. Anyway; Enough jibber jabber. I am behind in so many ways. WHEN I REMEMBER ALL THE PENISES I HAVE METIT MAKES ME REALISETHAT I SHOULD HAVE DEVOTED MORE TIMETO BEING A BETTER ARTISTBECAUSE I COULD HAVE HAD A WHOLE GALLERYDEDICATED TO THE BEAUTY OF DICKS Have you seen fleabag?

The Olivia Coleman character (Dad’s new girlfriend) is an artist who makes plaster cast representations of erect penises. The scene I am thinking of is where fleabag is coerced into helping out at an opening night at a gallery where said dicks are being presented and is told that one of them is her fathers. It is actually funnier than it sounds.

AND I WOULD HAVE CONSTANTLYSOLD ALL MY PAINTINGS AND AS A PAINTERTHERE ARE TIMES WHEN IT IS APPROPRIATEEVEN PREFERABLETO GET AS CLOSE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLETO THE SUBJECT OF YOUR PAINTING Having been through the amateur art class scene, I have to say dicks are particularly hard to draw.

Not in the cartoonish way we see scrawled on toilet walls in schools, but in a realistic way when trying to draw the male nude at a life class. MY PAINTERLY RULES FOR SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE BEENIT’S OK TO GET AN ERECTIONWHEN SOMEONES FACEIS IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO YOUR PENISI THINK RULES ARE IMPORTANT Indeed. This is quite generous and understanding of you.

WHEN YOU’RE A FATHER WITH A DAUGHTERIT’S A HARD LIFEIF YOU HAVE A SONYOU ONLY HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ONE PENISIF YOU HAVE A DAUGHTERYOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT EVERYONE ELSES PENIS I have both. I have no interest in my daughter’s love life at all. She has had many boyfriends and we have been liberal parents allowing them to ‘stay over’ in her bed since she was a teenager.

I have no real issue providing she is being careful. My son has had a succession of drop dead gorgeous girlfriends sleeping in his bed. They are my real worry. I have found myself jealous of my son at times. Which is concerning me. I have no right to think that way. He is a good lad. He doesn’t deserve a leering lecherous father. So I play it straight and pretend to ignore the beauty parade.

BECAUSE THE DEAFNESS OF THE BEASTIS THE ULTIMATE SUPERPOWER OF A PENIS PENISES HAVE MYSTICAL POWERS OF PERSUASIONFOR INSTANCE, PENISES ALLOW MENTO BELIEVE WITHOUT DOUBT, THAT THIER PENISIS THE PANCEA FOR ALL WOMEN’S PROBLEMS This may be true for some men. Not all. Men who think they can solve any issue with presentation of an erect penis are probably in need of medication.

They say penises have a mind of their own. This is also not true. The penis will respond to stimuli both physically and mentally and men cannot ‘override’ that response. It is the subject of many hilarious tales. But it is actually a bit of a pain in the ass to be honest. The unwanted erection can be both embarrassing and (depending on how hard you try and hide it) painful.

A GUILTY CONSCIENCE NEEDS TO CONFESSA WORK OF ART IS A CONFESSION - ALBERT CAMUS PERVERT: (VERB)A PERSON WHO USES A PENIS IN AN UNEXPECTED WAY I think you made that definition up.

THIS MISSY THAT I AMTHIS MISS MONKEY ON MY BACKLIKE SNOWFLAKES, FINGERPRINTS AND BEYONCE’S HAIRSTYLES, NO TWO PENISES ARE EXACTLY ALIKE - EXCEPT MAYBE ONES BELONGING TO IDENTICAL TWINS NOTE TO SELF; GOOGLE THAT LATER It is only a body part. We differ in other ways too. WHAT DID GOD THINK WHEN HE INVENTED PENISES Really? I could unpick that line forever.

Instead lets just say that the penis was not invented, it evolved. THE MOST COMMON THOUGHT MEN THINK ABOUT SEXWHAT IS SHE THINKING WHEN SHE SEES MY PENIS? I think we are all a little self conscious when we show each other our bodies for the first time. SO TO PARAPHRASE MARK ANTON IN THE PLAY JULIUS CAESAR:FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, SEND ME YOUR PENISES.

COCKD LOADED AND READY TO FIRE Not sure you want that. THIS IS A COLLECTION OF PENIS PHOTOSSENT TO ME BY MEN, UNREQUESTED MIGHT I ADDA MONTAGE OF PENISESIN SEARCH OF LADY PARTSA COLLECTION OF PHONE POLESUNRESTRICTED BY PANTS ‘Phone poles’. Excellent. Unsolicited sending of dick pics is a weird phenomenon to have evolved out of the internet. It is a sort of weirdo flashing thing.

TITLES FROM ANCIENT GREECE, TO MICHELANGELO TO PORN, AND THEN TO ME To be fair, I don’t think you can compare the statue of David to a dick pic. AT IT’S MOST SIMPLIFIEDPENISES AREINJECTION DEVICES FOR SPERMMALE MASTURBATION IS ALL ABOUT ERECTIONSO PORN TRANSFORMED PENISESFROM INJECTION DEVICESINTO THE CENTER OF ATTENTION I think you have confused form with factor. Porn is not about the penis.

It is about the orgasm. AND FOR PORTRAYAL IN PHOTOGRAPHY OR FILM THE BIGGER THE BETTER. IF YOU SEE YOUR PENIS HERE,DID IT JUST GET WEIRD I would never send a dick pic to anyone. Because I am sane. I think.

ANYONE GOT A RULER WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID,I WOULD SIT AROUND ALL DAY AND DRAW PICTURESTHAT’S REALLY MESSED UPTHAT’S NOT NORMAL YOU KNOW HOW MANYFOODS ARE SHAPED LIKE DICKS?THE BEST KIND Amusingly shaped vegetables? Yes they are a thing.

YOU WATCH A PORNO NOWADAYSAND YOUSEE THESE GUYSWITH THESE GIANT CHERNOBYLCOCKS ONTHEM AND YOU GO SAD TONEOH MY GOD I’M NEVER GONNAHAVE A DICK LIKE THAT.HERE’S THE THING YOU ARE NOTSUPPOSED TO HAVE A DICK LIKETHAT NOT EVEN ANIMALS SHOULDHAVE DICKS LIKE THAT I like where you are going with this. There is a strong argument that porn is not a good sexual educator.

That youngsters looking to porn to fill in the gaps in their sexual education are finding it a confusing and sometimes distressing place. Where extremes are normalised. That argument is normally directed toward the treatment of young girls, but I guess you have noted that it also makes men very self conscious too. Very observant of you. WHAT GIRLS THINK WHEN THEY SEE THEIR FIRST PENIS1.

IT’S...VERY.....PURPLE THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING WOW. THAT’S A SHARP LEFT TURN I NEED TO RESEARCH FALSE ADVERTISING LAWS YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE YOUR WILLY NOT BAD. RELATIVELY SPEAKING Is it? Is it really? I think most girls catch glimpses of their Dads penis at some stage, then the next penis will be a boy during early teen experimental sex.

I doubt the penis will be impressive as it will belong to a boy rather than a man, but it is doubtful the girl would have much to compare it with. COMING SOON THE C WORD ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW? I NEED YOU TO SEE THIS PLACE. IT MIGHT BE THE ONLY WAY I CAN SHOW YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE INSIDE - INCUBUS/STELLAR Not sure what you are driving at there.

EPILOGUE NATURE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING WHEN SHE FIGURED OUT THE PENIS AND THE CUNT - ADAM CAROLLA He should have used the same level of obscenity for both; either penis and vagina, or .... now I come to think of it ‘dick’ is not the same level as ‘cunt’ to me. I think perhaps dick or cock and pussy. But the name cunt has been weaponised. Which is perhaps why this quote feels wrong.

YOU EITHER WALK INSIDE YOUR STORY AND OWN ITORYOU STAND OUTSIDE YOUR STORY AND HUSTLE FOR YOUR WORTHINESS LIKE A BLACK DICK AROUND A KARDASHIAN Nope. Reference lost there. Sorry. ITS A CLICHE TO SAY THAT MEN THINK WITH THEIR PENISESBUT IT’S A FACT AND PENISES ARE NOTORIOUSLY STUPID. We do not think with our penises. Our penises are rarely the subject of our thoughts.

We think about sex though; as an abstract. A lot.

CREDITS TWO MINUTS LATER I’M NOT SURE IF I’VE GOT LOTS OF SPARE TIME OR I’M JUST FORGETTING EVERYTHING TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.I FOUND IT ON THE INTERNET WHETHER YOU SNIFF IT SMOKE IT EAT IT OR SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS THE RESULT IS THE SAMEADDICTON WILLIAM S BURROUGHS FEMINISTSMAKE FUN OFSPACE ROCKETS,SAYING THEY ARE GIANT PHALLIC SYMBOLSHAVE THEY STOPPED TO THINKSABOUT WHETHER A VAGINA SHAPED APOLLO 11WOULD HAVE MADE IT TO THE MOON?

DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT I DON’T THINK ABOUT ART WHEN I AM PAINTINGI THINK ABOUT LIFE JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT (1960-1988) This was a trippy film. Lots of humour. Lots going on. It entertains. The premise that I get out of it, is that the dick as an appendage is overrated. That it’s importance has been over-emphasised by popular media. There is no mystique involved anymore.

No gleeful unwrapping of the presents. We have all seen what is inside. Which is kinda sad. I will try and catch up soon. Scouts honour. X

Film details

Title

SCHWANG

Film number

188 of 250

Series

The Future Sex Love Art Projekt

Year

2022

Release date

May 14, 2022

Country

Australia

Language

English

Color

Color

Credits

Written, directed, edited and produced by Missy Jubilee. Produced by Gemini Film Partners. Part of The Future Sex Love Art Projekt, a 250-film series exploring intimacy, identity, and the body.

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