This is my thing. Captioning photos.


This is what I do in my spare time.

And to relax.

I caption photos from magazines.

And I don't even need anyone to hear me.

I just do it.

It's one of my things.

I know it's not much of a thing.

But it's something.

Like doing crosswords,

without the intensity.,

or the need for right answers.

Lesbians Take Over The Earth

Oh look. It's two females. Naked. And they're touching. And looking at each other. This must mean this photo was taken just seconds before they started having sex with each other.

If the proportion of naked girls touching in artistic photos indicated the size of the lipstick lesbian population, statistically, there would be no room for anyone else to fit on this planet.

If the proportion of naked girls touching in artistic photos indicated the originality of  photographers thinking, then that would indicate that photographers believe that God talks to them in cliches.


Gang Reduction Policy

Ok, that's it. I'm over this shit. I told Sarah "Sarah, you want to be part of this gang, you swing to 3 foot off the ground. No more. Got it" What does she do. Yup. You know how long we are going to wait for the council to fix this?. Let's just say that grade 4 is not going to be a watershed year for female under 10 franchise of the CRIPS.


Once a Clown, always...

The Insane Clown Posse, in later years, chillin at the seaside.


Damn Inconvenient Apples

I think this apple is coming between us.

But it is admiring our fabulous haircuts and perfect lips.

So I'm unsure of what to do next.


You should say something. Really. You should.

This sounds like a deep and meaningful at 4am with the girl with the red hair that you just met in the toilets five minutes ago doing blow together. I think we were talking about the unfairness of nightclubs charging $5 for tap water.


Hello. I think.

I'm a girl. And I have no idea what that look is attempting to communicate. God knows what a man would interpret it as. Visual tourets maybe?.


Just Leave Shit Out

I am against me?. I am not against me?. I against all of me?. I only against some of me, for other parts of me, and you to?. There seems to be some major plot points left out of this novelet. Or is this a new FlickR type thing for sentences?. Just leave shit out.


Has there been a SWOT analysis done on this?

Is this a new shoe putting on routine that I have missed by not being on twitter?

Seriously, how did she do her makeup upside down and not look like Heath Ledger in Batman Returns?

This girl got mad upside down skillz.


Nude Washing Day

Anything to spice up hanging out washing. Anything at all.

This would be a good start. Headed in the right direction you might say.

Anyone second the motion. Ok then. Thank you.

Nude Washing Day. It is now a thing.



Sexy without being at all personal, and that's the kinda sexy you need sometimes.

"Mummy, why did all those ladies forget to put pants on this morning?".

They're sluts darling.

"Oh. I didn't realise it was lifestyle based choice. I thought it might be mass hysteria. Or co-incidence".

There is no such thing as co-incidence darling.


Passive Aggressive Acting Out

I've noticed that using an oven to top yourself if you're a woman has fallen way down the list since the 50's.

But what a powerful way to make a statement about your dislike of housework and position in society.

Killed by the things that killed your soul.

Men. Society. Gender politics. And Westinghouse domestic applliances.


ZeMan. Or WoBra.

And everyone said 'why?' when scientists announced they were going to cross a zebra and a woman. Now we know.

Science. Tell your kids about it. It's fun.


Waisted Alien

I'm scared. She's scary.

Because something with a waist that small is not human.

Or comforting.

She is so lucky her deformity is fashionable and desirable.

Mummy. Help. I just ate some body issues and my throat is swelling.


Cynical Chic

Call me cynical, but this looks like an attempt by the fashion industry to market 'Bosnian Refugee' chic as this years new black.

When did 'Heroin' chic end?.

Note to self. I have to read Vogue more.


Early Phil

Some people were just born to be drummers. Stop being loud and annoying. Take these sticks, go up the back and hit something.

This could be a photo of a young Phil Collins.


Hands Down Girly

Stop raising your hands above your head - when dancing, and whenever you're doing what you're doing right there. Pretty much all the time. Unless you're being the 'Y" in a rendition of YMCA at Gay Pride Day. Apart from that. No.


Dust to Iggy

Iggy is such a beautiful example of art living, while simultaneously decaying, yet getting more interesting visually day by day.

Iggy won't fade away, he'll just re-assemble as dust and cocaine.


Pegged Love

Pegs, underwear and words. Always good. Can't go wrong with any combination of those three things. Hang on. Maybe you can. This moment is just like when you realise the Easter Bunny is a crock of shit. Not going to say it doesn't hurt.


Witchy Poo

Seriously, I think that little girl was me, and I never did understand what the scary lady was so angry about. It's not my fault you're wearing black in summer. Just chill bitch. By the way, isn't that the car from the Addams Family?