Missy Jubilee. 061. Slut Zero FULL SCRIPT

Continued From
Episode 60 'You Dirty Little Slut'
With 20 years perspective

'The cock may crow but it is the hen who lay the eggs'
-Margaret Thatcher

This is a
First world tale
Of sex. Adolescence &
Distorted perception
In a mirrored pool
Called
My Lust

1994 - Age 14

There was once
A little girl
Who knew little about daring
And little about sharing

She knew how to be,
But not unconditionally
Or unconsciously

She knew little of sexual
And nothing of attraction

She lived
In her own
Powerless asexual world
Until Slut zero came along
And entered my thinking

Then everything changed

She showed me
She was what she was
Because
She knew
What she wasn't

She wasn't an insight
Into the psychology
Of female
Sexual insecurities

2016 - Age 34
With 20 years perspective

There is a theory
That says some fetishes
Can be burned
Into the pshche
Based on events
At an age
between 11 and 14
When 11 and 14
When the child
Is sexually maturing
And is in a certain
Chaotic state of
Puberty

These events
Are usually
Quite minor
Sexual experiences

They are then
magnified
By a vulnerable mind
Leading to
Certain 'Distorted' desires
Being permanently
Baked into that child's
Mental. Emotional
And sexual
Operating system

This can then
Determine
What they find
Sexually arousing
For the rest
Of their lives

It can also become
An immersive
And obsessive
Circular coping strategy
To continually process
The noisy guilt
Of the original
Silent sin

But silence gives way
Eventually

To distractions

And so it did for me

It became
Just a way
To pass the day

Became
Just the way
I liked to play

Sex is everywhere, sex doesn't care. People do.

I looked at something in 1994 that I didn't know anything about, and I guessed at it - Awkwardly

But after the initial awkwardness, there would be three phases
To my sexual over the next 20 years...

  1. Tease 2. Pleeze 3. Squeeze

And those 3 little words are what the next 189 films are about

"It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know, or perceive a sense of oneself until it has been reflected back in the mirrors of another human being."
-John Joseph Powell

Postscript:
'The slut who never came to dinner'
If I could have dinner with anyone, it would be her
To compare notes, to compare reasons

I would tell her that I finished
What she started
In my mind

But I went
In a whole other
Direction

I veered left at acceptable

For years, I didn't comprehend why I reacted to certain things sexually
This moment of one of those things
The moments when
My sexual switch
Got flipped
From nothing
To something
And ever since
I have pushed & pulled
Walked & run
Away from
sexuality

But here I am now
With my companion
Called destiny

Destined to be
What I am

www.missyjubilee.com