Missy Jubilee. 057. Mutant Santa FULL SCRIPT

This film is a Christmas card to my father In the form of an allegory about why Santa Quit his Job And didn't come to my place in 2015

Missy Jubilee As Mutant Santa

Missy Jubilee's Father as Jesus

After 30 years in the family business Santa was having an existential crisis

Every Christmas eve, he would leave his fulltime job As a stand-in character actor in horror movies And go to his part time job as a glorified fedex delievery man Where he had a contract to supply services one night a year

Was this all he was?

He definitely knew who he wasn't

He wasn't batman, or superman or underwater man Or any other marvel superhero

He had no superpowers And he keep getting lumped in with The Easter bunny & the toothfairy in discussions

And he certainly had No approval from the C.I.A to blow up shit Whereever he wanted

It was just at this moment That the NSA via NORAD Intercepted a call between Santa and his father

It turned out His father was Jesus Christ And this phone call confirmed What the CIA had thought Since 1981

Jesus: Santa?


Jesus: Stop being a dick with this superhero shit You're robbing me of my glory It's Christmas, not Santamas Everyone is supposed to be Celebrating Christ's Birthday

Santa: Sorry DAD

Jesus: Don't call me DAD I am the great healer to you

Santa: Really?

Jesus: Really Just remember your place You're a fictitious character

Santa: But DAD...Great healer I want to something more than that I want to be three dimensional

Like a transformer

Jesus: You'll be what I tell you to be Your Job is to help glorify me At Christmas It's my birthday. It's not yours You don't even have a birthday

So enough of your bullshit Are we clear?

Santa: Yes DAD...Great healer

It was at precisely that moment That all Santa's emotion shattered

His whole life had been about Glorifying his father And that's all it ever would be

He would never get What he wanted for christmas

And then some kid called him a name That was very bad for his self control Very bad He spiralled inward & Downward. Losing all sense of himself And Jesus refused to discuss his son's fall from grace Santa was jailed in a mental prison of his own making for many years He would scream ever day demanding to be released from his torment But when he could scream no more He realised he didn't need anyone to let him out It was his mental prison He could let himself out of he created the pictures in his mind

Even though he was damaged by the whole experience He would finally get the Christmas present he always wanted

A great desk job at the CIA doing subversive shot all day long

Day One: CIA Training

In 2016 We wish you Serendipity And peace of mind


"Kindness is more important than wisdom and the recognition

of this is the beginning of wisdom" - Theodore Isaac Rubin

Beyond Script:

I'm thankful for all that is good in my life All that has got me here

I hope to navigate whatever time I have left With Dignity, not false pride

To be creative & original Without the desire to be acknowleged or clapped at With what the universe has given me

My dream is to wrire poems About finding happiness & Mutant Santas In the Darkest Corners Of the Crack house Couch That is my mind

Poetry is a dirty business But who Am I to Judge

After five years of engagement from my parents. Two weeks before Christmas 2015, I asked them If we could meet for an hour and enjoy each other company And mend some wounds from the past

They gave me the followings reasons Why they wouldn't be willing to do this

  1. It wasn't worth the investment of their time
  2. They believe max is a bad infleunce on me
  3. They couldn't be guaranteed that it wouldn't be unpleasent

They rationale was communicated through my mother But they were my father's reason

I put them in my little suitcase of horros from my Childhoods

A letter to my Father:

Valediction/Noun -An act of bidding farewell


I can only give reasons why we should Invest an hour of our time at Christmas In the hope that some Healing & Understanding Can grasp hold of this Nettlesome thing called Our relationship

Do it because I'm happy Do it because I'm sad Do it because I'm your daughter Do it because the sun rose Do it because the sun will set

But you got all your reasons For waiting to make me feel like shit

I know the deal Because nothing squeals Like a set of square wheels

I fear that you see me as such a bad person That I'm toxic That I'm the one that nobody should love Lest they be overcome by my cloud

To give you credit You don't pull no punches When it's time to deliver An emotional beating

You deliver it like a man


Putting your world together Without your daughter in it Again Me

Picking up my pieces Again

Show me your worst side You don't scare me for Fucks sake

How could you You are there You're not here You haven't been for a long time

I love you And Hate you Equally

I wrote that It's what I see

Merry Christmas Dad