My First Kiss Made Me Wet

"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other" - Rene Yasenek

I think about 
More 
Than I forget

But 
This early memory
For me 
Is
The essence of 
Wet

My first kiss 
Was 
A watery abyss
A scene from Titanic
That I wish I had
Missed

Two people 
Putting their lips 
Together 

Creating so much 
Saliva
It was wetter
Than
Stormy weather

Just send
Plumbers
Or plungers
They cried
And laughed

For
This leak had 
No sexual
Equal

It also
Required 
No expensive
Or un-neccessary
Sequel

From the 
Forehead 
To the Chin
Slobber, drool & spittle
Where 
Skin
Should have 
Been 

Even though 
It was my very first kiss
I had a fleeting 
Feeling
That this wasn't quite
Bliss

A sneaking suspicion 
Hard to dismiss
That most of the slop 
Was of my own 
Addition

And that 
Maybe
Just maybe
I had an  
Abnormal
Condition

I never heard
Again
From the boy called
Tim
Because
He had pulled the
Pin

I'm sure it was 
A dreampopping experience 
For him

But
Thank god 
He could 
Swim
Otherwise
It could have been 
Grim

At many arms length
Is where we would end up
That's the price of failed intimacy
That could be measured 
By the 
Cup

No questions

No answers

Just 
The first glance

At 
My pleasure/shame 
Dance

An unfortunate
Circumstance
Of attempting
Romance
 
A mental monster
Born 
In a 
Murky face bog

On hindsight
More suited to a
Frog
Or maybe a
Sprog

And yet
It all started 
As such a hopeful
Face snog

A valuable early 
Lesson to get

Because 
Now I don't hang around 
Boys 
Expecting 
Not to get wet

With
No love lost
And
No love found

My first grand romantic
Titantic
Had unfortunately
Ran 
Aground

That awful
Sound
Said the 
Newshounds

It was
My future 
Sexual insecurity
Being duly
Crowned

It's easy
To see
And not to
Confound

How
The nice girl in me 
May simply have 
Drowned

"Humour can transform almost unbearable pain into something bearable" -Bob Hope

Since this moment, I have never kissed with ease, pleasure or confidence

If you go back over all 65 films to date, there is not one mention of kissing

Sometimes I wish I had missed my teenage years completely

Stupid teenage years

"Why don't they make films about what happens after the first kiss?. They do, it's called porn" - Justin Timberlake. Friends With Benefits

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