Missy Jubilee. Psycho Sexual

Pyscho Sexual
Background Writing

Life Is Poetry

“You'll Turn Out Ordinary If You're Not Careful” 
(Ann Brashares)

As Part Of The Plea Bargaining
For The Upcoming Trial
It Was Suggested By My Lawyers
That I See The Best In The Field
Of Broken Brains

A Clinical Neuropsychologist
With Word Salad After Her Name

B.Sc (Hons), M.Sc, Maps, Mccn
To Be Precise

If You Have Seen The Episode 'Mask'd'
You Would Know 
About Some Of My Experiences
With Gurus
And Their Pill Pushing

Trust Her They Said
You Have To Work 
To Make It Work
And It Will Look Good For The Court

I Had One 60 Min Session With Her 
Two Weeks Ago

Today At 2pm 
I Received A Letter From Dr. Word Salad

It Read:

Dear Missy,

I Am Writing To You
Following On From Our Session On 5/11/2014

Thank You For Your Openness And Honesty
In Discussing The Challenges That Face You

I Appreciate That It Is Not Easy
To Discuss Such Personal Matters
With A Complete Stranger

Upon Reflection
I Do Not Believe That I Am Able
To Provide The Level Of Expert Assistance
That You Need

I Would Like To Suggest That
You Contact Another Professional In The Field
To Address Your Issues

I Enclose My Invoice For Our Session

I Wish You Well

Yours
Dr. Mrs. Clinical Neuropsychologist 
With Word Salad After Her Name

I Don't Breathe Right
I Don't Eat Right
I Don't Sleep Right
I Can't Even Go To A Clinical Neuropsychologist Right

I'm Told Being Normal Is Easy
Although It Makes Me A Little Queezy
But Christ On A Bike
Sometimes I Want To Vomit
On The Psychiatric Profession

I Do Object To The Way They Are 
A Little Teensy Weensy Bit Condescending 
At Times

On The Positive Side
I Do Not Feel I Will Run Out Of 
"Life" Experiences
To Write About 
Any time Soon

Sometimes I Feel 30 Going On 150

Maybe Mid-life Is A Milestone 
Not Measured By Time
But By 'Life' Experiences

Maybe

Perhaps Someone Like Me
In Their Early Thirties
Could Have Lived An Approximation 
Of Half A Life 
In Less Than Half A Life
If My Feedback Loop 
Had Journeyed The Miles Needed 
To Perpetuate That Thought… 

Maybe

Perhaps It Is 
Just That Nagging Thought 
All Penned Livestock Dream
That The Grass Over There 
Is So Much Greener And Tastier 
Than The Brown Stuff They Serve Up
Here

But Maybe
I Just Have To Get Comfortable 
With The Brown Stuff 
And Think 
Well 
‘Its Just More Grass, Isn’t It?’

And Then Decide
If It's Worth The Effort To Go Get It

I Load The Bullets
They Pull The Trigger

Is That Odd? 
Or Cowardly?
I Can’t Decide

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

Right

Right?

My Childhood In The Third Person

When She Was Five
She Wanted To Be An Artist
One That Painted Pictures
Of People Being Happy

But Art Was Hard
Her Ideas Limited
And Happy People Were Scarce

But She Really Wanted To Help

So She Would Play Pretend With Her Cat
And Feed It Candy As Medicine
Like She Had Been Fed Medicine
Like Candy

How Did I End Up Being The Cat?

Yours, While Dishing Historical Slops 
From My Self Flagellating Brain

Missy

P.S. 

At The Moment It Is Looking Like 
If I Plead Guilty
I'll Get A Section 10 
Due To The Freakish Accidental Nature
Of The Assault

Guilty

But No Conviction Recorded 
And A Good Behaviour Bond

It's An Adventure
But I'm Having A Few Too Many Adventures 
At The Moment 

Like A Submarine
I Have Set Myself To Silent Running

'In The End 
There Doesn't Have To Be Anyone
Who Understands You,
There Just Has To Be Someone Who Wants To'
(Robert Bault)