Missy Jubilee. (Sex) Toy

The Record Of Arrest Remixxx

Soundtrack For The Episode: (Sex) Toy 
By Missy Jubilee

A scar
Because It’s Hurtful 
And Empathetically You Know 
That It Was…
<Insert Judgement Here>

There Is Nothing Glorious About 
Irresponsibility
Or Lack Of Responsibility
No-One Wins
That Sum Game
<Insert Statement About Someone Else To Blame>

I Know What I Am

So What Kind Of Person 
Does That Make You? 
When One Thing Is Asked
In Exchange 
For
A Dedication
To Your Best Interests
<Insert Last Person Standing Here>

One Thing Too Much
No credit
Never Has Been Money
In That Account

Repeat

That Black Hole 

Again

You 
Being You
But
The Other You

Only Yesterday
I Forgot Where The Heck 
I Hid That Person

So I Watched
As An Observer

Then Again

Displaced Myself 
Forgot That I Knew You 
On Any Level

Seeing A
First Person Singular
In The Process
Of Relocation
To A No Mans Land
Of Hate

Not In The Past
 
But To Complete 
And Utter
Present

Unresolved

And
A Struggle To Do So
 
All The Gurus 
Say So
And They Are Never 
Wrong
Except When They 
Are

Guessing
Words Like
Loving Thyself Is
 
The 

Secret

Even Though 
Love

A Many Splendid Thing

Is A Weapon
That 
Has Never Won
Any Of These Wars
Before

So
Let’s Live In 
Hope

And
Abate Some Symptoms

Dodge
And Weave
Some Commitments

Providing Proof
That
One Knows Where The
Onus Lies

Let’s Scream

Let’s Be Helpless

Let's self Destruct

Let's Convict
People
So Deception 
Can Sleep
Comfortably
At Breaking Point

Permanently

Waiting For
The Mask 
To Melt And Break
Red 

Looking
For Rock Bottom 
As It Traverses
My Triggers 
In Search Of A Reaction

Remember 
Unfairness?

Remember
Saying Sorry?

Remember
Gracefully
Not Yelled?

I'm Sorry
Are You Happy Now
Screamed
Is Not Grace
Personified
 
Happy
Is Not 
Red, Dead, Redemption

Happy
Is Not The End 
And The Beginning 
Being
Same Point

Am I Happy?

Guru, So What Say You?

Fuck Off 
And Let Me Paint
The Opposite
Of My World

And I Can 
Hide In There
Using
Words As Actions 
That Can Pull The Truth
Off The Brick
Of Change

While
Collapsing Insecurities 
Into
A Cloud Of Glinting
Blind Spots
That In A Million Years
Will Settle Softly
On 
My Memory

To Have The World 
At Ones Feet
Just To 
Mis-Spell It

Window Ledge

Instead Of 
Launch Pad

Would Be Poetic

Except
I See 
And Hear It
All The Time
On Street Corners    

The Problem With Being Alive
Is... 

The
Art of Living
Gracefully
Through The Madness
Of Living
Is An Art

For An Artiust
Can't Get No
Satisfaction
Never Comes
Too Soon
On That Narrow Road 
To That Deep End

Do We Scream Our Way
Back To Reality?
Or 
The Illusions Of Our Existence 
That Define Us?

If
Life Is Our Book

Why Do We
We Fill It 
With
Broken
Toys

That Someone Else
Always 
Broke

While
We Were
Too Busy
Playing The Roles Of

Not Friends

Not Enemies

Just strangers
With Some Different

Memories


'We Are Only As Blind As We Want To Be'
-Maya Angelou