Missy Jubilee. Fear

9pm first night of filming

Once in a while, put on your girl's face
 
A film of mine that you can show children without fear of arrest ...shit just got real

8 hours later
 
This film was shot over 6 consecutive nights with one camera in front of my main reference monitor while I was remixing the soundtrack for this film

There are a lot of sunglasses involved because it is highly sub-optimal working with bright light shining in my face night after night
There is a reason bright lights are used in torture
 
End of filming 5am first morning
 
Monsters don't live under my bed. They live in my head. So people say
 
Don’t. Walk. Dance
 
"off    "off    "off    "off
The    the    the    the
Wall"    wall"    wall"    wall"
 
This film features Brodinski live at the boiler room in Berlin
 
I admire his music & his DJ style, and I also like watching him mix while I mix
 
He could be the sexiest DJ in the world. Focus group of one
 
An Appaloosa Duck Production
 
A Missy Jubilee non-naked film
 
Episode 40 of 250 of the Future Sex Love Art Projekt
 
Fear & Consequences
 
I’m Missy Jubilee. And this is me at work. It's very meta I know
 
I’m a film maker, artist, experimental writer & sound sculptor
 
[on t-shirt] peep show princess
 
As a film maker, my subject is sexuality & the origins of desire
 
As artists my husband & I are married to a 12 year 250 film projekt to document and un-ravel my secret sexual persona from the age of four to 32 years old as a conceptual art piece
 
I’m pretty much naked in every film so far except this one
 
Art naked. Not porn naked. There's a difference Google
 
Naked as a metaphor for un-self-shamed female sexuality
 
Before starting in the film industry I wore clothes. True story
 
I was a DJ and remix producer. This was my music. This was my thing
 
But now I just do it for me. And the films I make. Like this one

 
You may have noticed I’m quite animated when I mix
 
That's because I have no fear of the consequences
 
I think everyone would do crazy stuff if they didn't...
 
Fear consequences
 
I have no fear of the consequences when I create soundscapes
 
Because I feel. Music. Deep down. Somewhere. It's cathartic
 
But with the Future Sex Love Art Projekt
 
So far out on the edge of experimental art film making
 
Consequences are all I think about when I’m not doing music
 
The consequences of this project have been personal to date
 
I may have lost my parents completely. Not to be dramatic
 
I am estranged from 95% of my friends. It is what it is
 
My best friend of 30 years said she couldn't be a friend anymore
 
Positives are, I wouldn't be doing anything else in the world
 
Our films are studied in universities, art & film schools
 
Our films are also studied by psychiatrists. I think that's positive
 
The consequences are what they are. I knew them going in
 
In truth, the only consequence I fear
 
Is not completing the 250 films. Every one as honest as hell
 
Because my life finally has a purpose. Granted. A weird purpose
 
7 yrs pre-production. 5 yrs filming. 12 yrs of my life. 2 reasons
 
1. Un-fuck my head 
2. Let all the pretty monsters out
 
I need to understand who I am and what caused the way I think
 
And why I carry so much sexual shame around with me
 
There
Ought
To be
    More
    Danc-
        Ing
 
Whatfuckingever
 
'whatever begins in anger, ends in shame' - Benjamin Franklin
 
This is what I have to do before I die. Can't go backwards. I’m all in
 
Because everything I need is on the other side of fear
 
Note to self, I don't think I’ve done 250 of anything. Except the obvious
 
Music01/Brodinski DJ set/House of Vans/Boiler Room Berlin
 
Game over
 
Music02/Guns n' Roses/Sweet Child o' Mine/Electro mix 2011
 
Music03/Vintage Culture Remix/In The Air Tonight/Missy Mashup
 
Try again
 
Music04/21 Questions/50 Cents/Snbrn Remix
 
Do I look like a motherfucking role model?
 
This Is Art
(if you want it to be)
 
Music04/Get It On Bang A Gong/T.Rex 2012
 
Music06/Get It On Bang A Gong/Remix 2012
 
Sigh
 
Music07/Mr. Dobalina/Del Tha Funkee Homosapien
 
Are You Bored?
 
Music08/Lazyboy/Underwhere Goes Inside The Pants
 
It is very loud in my head
 
Ok cool
 
So there's this boy
 
Bite me
 
Sex

Soundtrack Remixed By Missy Jubilee

Available for download at www.missyjubilee.com 

Part Two
 
I was born in 1981 in Australia. I am 33 years old
 
In 1983, the film Risky Business was released

It would be Tom Cruise's first major Hollywood role
 
The New York Times said it was 'part satire, part suburban poetry, part shameless showing off'
 
Many would call it the best film of 1983

I saw this film when I was 8. I don't remember where or how. All I remember is the train scene With tom cruise and the prostitute played by Rebecca DeMornay
 
Phil Collins 'In The Air Tonight' was used for this scene
 
I must have watched that scene 1000 times. Everytime. Chills
 
The desperate untidy depiction of sexuality & desire, the cinematography, the troglodytic lights & exogenic sounds
 
This scene is why music in films is important to me
 
That scene made me want to make films. So I could fix me
 
Hurt people hurt people. Pain patterns get passed on
 
I want to break that pattern in my family. And in my life
 
With the only 3 weapons available to me. Film. Music. Honesty
  
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness
-Leo Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata
 
Where is it deluded to say beauty makes whatever inner ugliness that exists much easier to listen & react kindly to
 
Six nights in the studio
 
One film
 
One remix
 
One soundscape
 
One music video
 
Film is my lover. Music is my bitch

Quack me!