Not sure how to start this. First, thank you.
I've only had a few dozen conversations with you. None of them have made it this far though. Mostly because every time I go back and look at your work, I find answers, or ideas that I missed the first time. That's probably why I'm so intimidated by you and yet... so motivated to talk with you. I get the feeling you can be the best friend in the world.
..when you're not taking care of MJ... no I'm not really much of a comedian (maybe just a font of smirks) :)
Can I comment on the aff story? I realize you have said over and over that you don't care about people's opinions, and I respect that and think it's important for everybody to. You also say for people to go ahead and comment, you don't shock easily. Well, like you, I can be blunt, but not because I'm trying to shock anybody. So I'm going to take you at your word that I can be honest without alienating you.
(Reminds me of another thing I've imagined chatting with you about... why do I try to talk with you? You don't need me. Don't owe me anything. Do I want something from you? Nothing more than answers to a few questions... which I'm sure will grow to a lot of questions over time, if I keep watching your project. Maybe they'll be significant somehow. As I've said, you're the first personality of any type I've tried to communicate with, certainly the first artist and porn/erotica performer. (I half expected you to have a PR assistant who would handle all your correspondence and just blow me off.) Other than that? Turn back time and be born in Australia?
...anyway aff.. saddened that you were treated in such a way, not only by them but Paypal... I'm sure others. I think a plus, though, is that you became involved with Vimeo and if it weren't for that and Frank Moore, I don't think I'd ever have heard of you. I just don't think aff was your best vehicle or audience, not that I'm an expert. And I understand your hatred, I can see myself obsessing about it. But you are so creative and amazing, there's got to be a better use of your energy.... if you needed an extra vote.
I realize your art is not for everybody. Doesn't mean it shouldn't be. Some people will never appreciate some things... sadly, they won't even realize how much they've allowed their eyes to be clouded before they die. But, listening to the heartbeat of the world, and growing up in a slightly different culture than you, it's hard not to be scared for you. Girls are kidnapped into slavery/prostitution, beaten and murdered all the time for doing things far less shocking than you do. (Not that I am saying there should be a correlation!, there shouldn't) And I'm sure you can tell I'm sincere when I say I'm glad you're a survivor and your story could inspire millions of women. Of course, I see it through male eyes, and that means that Missy Jubilee is a fantasy for me, rather than the reality it is for you. (reminds me of one of my conversations with you... that I'm sure has occurred to you, and that's that viewers consider your images a major fantasy, yet you fantasize something yet again as part of or all of creating it.)
Perhaps something you'll eventually cover, but just in case you never intend to put it in a video.... Is the reason you fantasize about inappropriate sex on the beach because it's never actually happened? (I understand the needing to be seen, but) I guess the unanswered question I'm thinking of, is that with all the attention you've gotten by parading (I guess that's accurate although inadequate) nude on beaches, how have you not been taken advantage of??? I could speculate, but I'd rather hear how you thought about it... if you did.
Another question, which again might never be covered in your videos since it's tawdry and probably the type of thing that drags things down (and I realize you don't shy away from anything).... is that with your gangsta as fuck sexuality, and exhibitionism in public places.. did you actually have sex (and unprotected sex) in public places as well, or was it the heart-stopping risk that fuels your fire and the orgasms happened after... with the gnarlwolf (cute concept, I wonder what he/she looks like) or your lover/bf/husband.
While I'm putting up ideas for your bio, or videos... or just things you really do think about... another question: Do you care if your life is separated into compartments? Just spit it out, Michael!!! stop beating around the bush. Okay, I'm guessing that because of the dialog you had in your films with your parents, that they know a lot about Missy Jubilee... yet you are still Missy Jubilee, not whatever name is on your birth certificate, or the name on your paycheck. So, you are saying you're out there, open for all to see and not hiding behind any more shame, but you lead a double (or more) life. It seems like you still feel you have something at stake by hiding your identity.... or perhaps that is just one more demon (perhaps the last one) that will be dumped by the end of the projekt. :) It's not an accusation, I'm sure you have thought it out and have an unassailable view on it. I'm willing to hear it if you're willing to talk about it. I guess we all have double lives to some extent... yours are just bigger than everybody else.
Eye contact. I loved it.... but... the evasive fluttering look is still there. Perhaps that's another demon that's due to be dumped by the wayside. Either way, the look in your eyes hides the strength of your will, and the shit storm that would happen if somebody were to cross you.
Yes, I'm taking a risk that you don't make it to the bottom of my message. I realize you have a lot to do and a lot to accomplish and people wasting your time is something about which you've probably got a sixth sense.
...so next question. I can see how being naked in person in public can make men you encounter (and women too if that's something that gets into your fantasies) horny.. and it's one of the things that fuels your fantasies. Makes sense, I can fathom the concept. But, how does that translate to media? How do you fantasize about hundreds, or thousands of men and/or women getting off on you, if you can't actually sense or feel their reactions? Your heartbeat can skyrocket when you see men pitching tents in bathing suits running for the surf.... but how does that work when they're behind closed doors, thousands of miles away.... with no acknowledged feedback at all? (Because if you're in my head stealing my passion, I need to learn that trick...)
I realize my concern for you may be misguided. I'm sure between you and Max, you're a formidable couple and have already triumphed over many things, things you may never talk about..... speaking of Max, you don't seem to wear rings often (until the last video). Do you think you could show off your wedding ring... or whatever symbol of your marriage you treasure most? Or is that the collar and leash? :D It goes without saying that disguising it in any way that preserves your dual identity makes sense.... just show it. Just a suggestion, I'm sure you can imagine that it adds plenty to the situation.
I guess I'm starting to talk with you as though I care about you more than I have any call to. Still puzzles me. I guess it's because you're the first lightning rod that has pulled all the conversations I have between myself... out of my head and onto paper. I'm trying to keep them all on the topic of you.
Building on the comment above about aff, where I had never heard of you before... Even when I was browsing through Frank's group, I didn't really pay much notice to your videos at first. It was tough reading, the sexuality was mostly veiled and overwritten with stuff that frankly challenges the horny male to keep it up. Honestly, at first I just thought you were thumbing your nose at horny men. Besides, I was busy trying to figure out what I was looking for. After all, Vimeo does its best to make sure you don't come in your pants watching their 'art'. It was only when I had gotten through the entire volume that I looked more closely at your work.... then I found there was more reality and background to your story than anybody else was willing to put up.... even ones who want attention like the Arts Majors who are looking for funding. So I, like the data addict I am, I read all your stuff.... looked at most of the pictures and art... and ended up finding the stuff on pornhub, etc... I guess that's the stuff that was on aff. So, I'd like to thank you and congratulate you (for making it to Vimeo, not pornhub). You're a survivor and a paradox. Although it's easy to say that somebody like you shouldn't exist (since it took you through hell to get where you are), you give hope. Here's what I imagine.... that if every man or woman had a partner like you, better or worse, I think that they would have been motivated to be better their entire lives. I think Max is better than he was because of you, although it's just speculation, Max isn't part of the bio. :)
Finally, it seems like the loose cannons are the ones who garner your ire, and they get far more of your precious film space than they deserve. Maybe I can say something that will make your videos better... or be a fuse that starts something you always wanted to say. Maybe somehow it can motivate the complacent ones who never say anything, because they're intimidated, or they already agree and yet they outnumber the psychotics who actually bellow, get heard, and get noticed out of proportion to their numbers, or the value of their drivel. And I hope that things I say don't make your demon community grow.... but damn, you imply that our fantasies are eaten by yours. :)
....lots more to say, but saving it for a future message. I hope I get the chance.
ps I feel I should learn to put video and pictures in my narrative. Seems our world has been blessed with a new muse.