Missy Jubilee. 040. Fear

Name: Michael

Message: Missy.... well, my name's really Michael. Maybe one day I'll be able to use yours. (although I admit I love brilliant pseudonyms)

I always fear starting off on the wrong foot because I'm not worldly, I'm not good at lines, and I'm not looking for anything that you're not already giving. Here's what I'd like to say:

First, congratulations. You're smarter than people give you credit for, be your own person. I'm actually feeling deprived that I didn't marry or don't even know a person like you. It would have kept my mind from stagnating. Maybe that's good, maybe not. In any case, I will volunteer to be a mentor or at very least a supporter. I wish I had the substance to be more.

Second, of course like everybody who has the nerve to write you, I'd like to ask you a million questions, hopefully they're not the same old ones. But I think that merely by asking them, they will impact your process or interfere with it... possibly even make it longer before I hear their answers. I think you're taking a very interesting road to present yourself... your thoughts, although you're beautiful too, and I'm rapt.... I doubt I'm alone. Perhaps if we start a dialog, it will become obvious what I don't need to say, and what I could say that would make you think. Damn, I sound like I know everything. Fuck!

Finally, I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for, even if it's as mundane as understanding why people don't understand you. I would love to see you go down in history as being as revolutionary as Sappho, or at least that you made authority back down from you.

I was a pathetic cheerleader as a father because I couldn't find my voice when it came time to cheer. I was so choked up with awe and pride that nobody could hear me. On paper, I don't sound choked up.... so. Don't quit. If you were my daughter, I would be proud of you... scared shitless, and proud. If you were my wife, I hope I would have motivated you to do at least what you're already doing.... and known when to shut up and let life unfold as it needs to.