Hi Missy and Max,
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Plato
An analogy occurred to me yesterday. I have a friend who is colourblind. It's not something I think about much, and although I had known a bit about that since childhood, I had never talked to anybody who dealt with it on a personal level. He has become jaded about people's concern, because most of the people who find out ask the same question... which I imagine was funny and intriguing at first, but then tedious and repetitive and unimaginative after a few thousand times. "Well, what does red look like to you?". Hm, that's a tough question isn't it? He can't see what we see, and we can't see what he sees, yet we both look at the same thing and deal with it normally in our everyday lives.
....so I wonder. Why do we do that? The exact same thing but for different people, different lives. Not realizing how many thoughtless questions everybody else asks you, when there is actually no answer to them in the first place.
Male genetics? Just turn down the volume. Perhaps it's that part in humans (not just males) that cheers for the underdog, that sympathizes with the people who have to fight harder to get what everybody else is given? I don't seem to care as much for some... and it's a feeling, so it's not easy to define. On the street, I see somebody who's sitting in a corner with a stained coffee cup between their legs... there are a few coins in it and they're disheveled and dozy... they look up with a plea in their eye. I feel cold, that my money would just contribute to their downward spiral. But then I walk on and there's somebody who's standing on a nearby corner, juggling knives, maybe balancing on their studly boyfriend, or even convincing me they're passing knitting needles through their arms.... they have a guitar case or a large beautiful hat for donations and there are a lot more coins in it than the rubbie had. I toss one in.... take a picture for my scrapbook, and feel I have helped. But who needed the most help? I can only help the ones who reach into my soul, my mind and flip that switch that makes me care if they continue.
So what next? Ask you if you have the time? :) There's something in me, probably everybody, that doesn't go away. Empathic memory. I still remember the first girl I liked. Far back in high school.... I didn't even make it to a first date with her... I didn't realize she even noticed me until it was too late. One day she said "Hi" to me as I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend. I saw her, I nodded, but I didn't answer, let's say I was mid-thought and caught off guard. Disaster. Well, to this day, I feel sorry for that. There are things you can't forget, things you are always trying to make up for.
So, I guess I'll just keep looking out for each time you do cool stuff (Which you do with regularity).
Yep, I wanted to have a conversation with you. Yeah, I guess it didn't occur to me that I wasn't the first one to ask, nor what kind of people have already asked. We all think we're different.... well, you are different, but the rest of us want to be. So, I have to say I was pretty happy to see the plain you, the vanilla version hiding under Appaloosa Duck on the TVI episode this week. It's not the same, but I guess it's as close to what I imagined as possible. Of course it didn't occur to me that it would be difficult. It was difficult and even the brief clips you included couldn't hide it. I guess congratulations are in order, I'm sure it was HARD. Is HARD. Bravo. So many people are unable to do that.
So how do people not cheer for you and keep watching in hope for you? Sure, I'm not likely alone in wondering what's going to happen to you... and maybe more concerned than I have a reason to be. I like the analogy of an angel on your shoulder that tells you to get up, dust yourself off and get back to work.... the devil that sits on your shoulder and tells you to lay back, wrap yourself in oblivion and close your eyes, that you don't have to do anything and everything will fall into place.
You wanted to share your feelings, but you pissed them off. Fuck. (Anon)
Great work Missy. Fabulous photography and cinematography Max. I hope this rolls like a snowball and creates an avalanche for you.