Still voice caught in throat. How would I know if my words were actually a trigger... not a foreshadowing. That hurts. No way to be there to change the outcome.
....why.... why am I so concerned for you? Why do I feel I should do "something"? I'm more than fully aware that I'm not like you, have few if any answers that mean something to you, much less have ever asked the questions you wrestle with. Why is this the first (and possibly last) episode where you say the words, "I love you"?
It's very perplexing. I want to hear you to say, "I will succeed", not "I am controlled by things I cannot change". I have never experienced that.... maybe it's a suppressed memory. Being conflicted and dragged beyond the mundane is the hallmark of an artist... so you are an artist. My question??? ....heaven forbid I should say it correctly, but.... if you have a conflict and you recognize a personality is poisonous.... why wouldn't you just refuse to allow them the power to act? I realize I'm talking about stuff I know nothing about... but that's how it makes sense to me.... I'm not trying to be insulting, nor flippant, nor demeaning. If one goes down, they all go down.... and one of them has to care. Again.... way out of my depth. Still, if you'd indulge me, I'd be a rapt audience. This is not something I'll find in a book.
There's a huge amount of interdependent logic here... very intricate. Like a chess game with an infinite number of pieces.
I didn't want to sound scary. I've gotta say... I'm surprised MJ isn't a phenomenon in the Arts community already... maybe I'm just as warped as you and we both don't see it.
Final word? Of course, I'd love to hear your thoughts... but that may not happen. I'm sorry... but that may not have anything to do with it. I'd love to separate my communication between personal support, and critical review and discussion... but I see a clear blurry line there too. :) Funny how it's so clear to ask a question of another, yet not an answer of yourself.
So... I'm still riding the horse, but I can see how some people were bucked off.