Tania, may I ask you what you thought of the last episode as a woman?. Please feel free to be as critical as you like. Criticism makes me better x
Hi Missy, so I have watched it a few times and i have to say the more i watch your videos the more i appreciate your art. I find what you do so evocative, raw and beautiful. Chain'd grew on me after watching it more then once... its darker and leaves me wondering.. is there more? Are you extending it to be release in full on Sept 30? Its really interesting for me and quite apt actually because something i am really working with in myself is my own sexual fantasies... and i;m realising that you are helping me with this. I am exploring and express this darker side within me but am totally challenged by it at the same time... I feel Chain'd is a reflection of that.. mmm how timely!!! Joao and myself have spoken quite extensively about your work and what it evokes for us personally...totally different perspectives but i feel as a woman that what u do is fuel for dialogue and exploration... its also really interesting for me to open to his experience of watching you as a total erotic sexual and gorgeous woman and then reflect on my own experience...and what i am I hope it is ok to be totally honest and personal with u... i feel there is magikal element in connecting with you and what you are doing. I think thats all for now but anymore thought i have i will be sure to send your way.. power to you girrrrlfriend
Tania, thank you so much for your insight. I know it is a burden to ask someone to deconstruct a piece, but from you, I knew/thought I could get some valuable insight - so I hope you don't mind me asking. I actually ask for feedback from very few people (80% of people know shit and just go with what is popular - you know my attitude on that) - so firstly, I appreciate you taking valuable time out of your day to help me fine tune what I'm doing. The reason for my question is this - I know what males like about the films (duh!), but with them, there is a line I will go up to, but no more, no matter how much they ask, or whether they threaten to disengage because I won't, or what ever they want to say to try to get their way with a girl that says - this is my line - and your not going to make me feel inadequate, or somehow failing - because I won't give YOU what you want. My body is a prop. It is really the only prop I have. And I have to use it judicously, and creatively, so I can stretch that prop over 250 episodes without getting to a point of - well, I better give them what they want cause I don't have anything else. So in essence, my body the prop is 30% of the equation, the stories 70% of the equation. Some will get the limitations, some won't. It is what it is. But as a woman, I am trying to voice the concerns, limitations, insecurities, fears, shame, embarrassment, gender stereotyping that many women feel. And I am trying to do this through my own experience - without preaching, cause I don't know shit about what the answer is. I'm hoping that at the end of 250, perhaps I will - because when I watch the films, I see thoughts and things that I've never seen before. Some shit starts to make sense. It is very surreal. And public. Uncomfortably so.
ok, here is my challenge. No guy ever said - you know what I want. I want psychoanalysis with my porn. I want to know how fucked up the girl I'm fantasizing about is. That was said. NEVER
Challenge 2. I find sexuality/porn is either directed to a male audience, or a female audience. It is very hard to do erotica for a combination - unless it is just all about sex to get both off. My theory is that I can do that if....the first focus is the story, and then it is wrapped in sexuality to keep the male audience engaged. But to keep the male audience engaged, I then have to ensure that I am not alienating the female audience with grossness. These fine lines and making these films is like having a thousand spinning plates in the air. Seriously.
So, to the nub of my enquiry, if I ever do anything that alienates you, puts you off, or makes you feel like I'm pandering to the guys in the cheap seats, please let me know. I will have stepped too far over that line if you do. I am reasonably confident that I can do it, but also aware that I'm human. Long story short, I would value your thoughts as a woman as to how authentic, tasteful, stylish, truthful, engaging, sexually insightful I am being - and whether I am mirror the lived experience of the majority of women, even if they prefer not to admit it. If there is any problems with any of those elements - or you sense me careening off into porn - please be my little yellow canary down the coal mine?