Missy Jubilee. 037. Fantazm

“There is an entire generation growing up that

believes that what you see in hard core pornography is the way that you have sex”

Cindy Gallop/Make Love Not Porn/TED 2009

I think my guardian angel has porn sex when she’s not watching me.

Therefore, a warning:

This episode addresses the art of sex

And this is my game-show hand technique.

I don’t think that game shows will be an option.


This is not your Father’s pornography

But first, would you like fries with that porn?

A message received two weeks ago.

“I have stopped counting how many times you have said ‘Make

Art Not Porn’ in these films. So what is Porn? I know what pornography is. Trust me, I have even

explained it in a huge debate on what is the difference between softcore and hardcore pornography.

I can even lecture in it in schools. You promote the Future Sex Love Art Project while all I see is a

one woman show. You say make art, not porn, while I only see a peep show. Sex implies two people

doing it. Your stuff is more modelling shoots done artistically. That is not art.

30 year old male/Egypt

‘Crazy in show business is when a woman keeps talking when no-one wants to fuck her’ – Tina Fey

My rebuttal. Do you give a fuck?

Giving a fuck about the concept of conditioned response.

Pornography: Proving that the principles & theory of Pavlov’s dog can be used on Junior High School

students to create future customers for the porn industry.

My alternative to porn?

Turn up the truth. Because truth kills shame.

For example, when I have sex…

I become a different person and go to another place.

This film is about that person & one of those places.



Sex & Love at once is a powerful thing. But when in doubt, fantasize.

That’s how I escape from me.

For instance, this is me having sex, while trying to roll a joint.

But that’s not interesting.

What is interesting is what I was thinking while having sex.

Let me take you deep into my sexually twisted mind.

10 minutes earlier, lying on the couch naked with a collar & chain on (as you do in a Monday night).

I imagined lying on a beach naked while rolling a joint

and a naked man comes up behind me

all stealthy like

and starts having mad anonymous sex with me

and I just ignore what is going on and be

all super cool like (Fuck Yeah)

and continue to roll the joint, ‘cause that shit is important.


1st Orgasm: 45 Seconds

And then rolling the joint gets forgotten a little.

Lots of people on the beach are watching.

Everyone is shocked and pointing

but he keeps pushing forward like a good soldier

and I keep letting him like a good whatever I am.

OOOPS. 2nd Orgasm 1 Min 19 Sec

And then I do something very shameful (Fuck Yeah).

I get up on my hands and knees

so that everyone can see what is happening and that I am enjoying it. Oh good God yes.


Encouraging it even,

while still rolling a joint.

Showing a great deal of focus.

But all the people staring don’t seem to appreciate my ability to focus.

They seem to be telling something,

that I’m some word starting with S…

Oh well…. More shame please Mr. Anonymous man.

Here it comes. 3rd Orgasm: 2 Min 23 Sec

And all those people would see me, because I made them see me

The only way I knew how,

and for that moment, I wasn’t invisible.

[General Melchett – Black Adder] “Well bugger me with a fish fork!”

Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It is a way of understanding it – Lloyd Alexander

Top ten female fantasies

#1 The rape fantasy

#2 Being a stripper

#3 Role reversals

#4 Group sex

#5 A gorgeous woman

#6 Exhibitionism

#7 Submissive Mate

#8 Dominatrix

#9 A stranger in the bedroom

#10 Come and get me boys

Yes to all the above


Looking behind my conditioned sexual responses

“We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain”

Trauma is shapeless. We may not even know it is there. It creeps and shapes who we think we are,

so that who we think we are becomes our reality, and that reality is very hard to change. For some

reason, my emerging sexual-self went underground and made myself invisible in the real world. Yet

paradoxically, my sexual excitement comes from being seen – shamefully.

That’s a head scratcher isn’t it.

Perhaps it’s as simple as… I wasn’t seen or loved for who I was. Or maybe it was something else.

One moment please.

4th Orgasm: 4 mins 12 sec

Imagine a little girl. She is sitting with her mother, playing on the floor. The mother abruptly stands

up and walks out of the room leaving the child alone. This may be traumatic for the child if she has

been made dependent on the mother for her self-esteem.

But it does not cause shame.

Shame may be caused in that instant that her mother walks back into the room and the infant looks

up and seeks validation from her mother through facial expression and is met with… nothing.

What if this happened all the time and the mother was naked and flaunting her sexuality in front of

the child?

That might explain some stuff maybe.

My aliveness comes from being seen, being seen naked by people on a beach. Being seen as a sexual

being. Forcing them to see me. Being seen in the films that are this project.

I wonder if she sees me now?

Do I smell popcorn?

Fantasy (noun) – A strong addition usually with something that is not real and probably will never be

– Urban Dictionary



Let everything happen to you.

Beauty and terror.

Just keep going.

No feeling is final

– Rainer Maria Rilke

Maybe some girls are not meant to be tamed.

Maybe they are supposed to run wild

until they find someone just as wild

to run with.

I was made for another planet altogether. I mistook the way – Simone de Beauvoir

Associate Producers
Eric Schoeffler/Germany
Marcin Kolasa/Poland
Wouter Dobbelaere/Belgium
Makkerrony Log/Germany
Alan Rogers/UK
Babbitt Da Wabbitt/USA
Robert Pearce/USA
Christopher Kovac/USA

Associate Executive Producers
Bernard Glynn/Australia
David Huff/USA
Chris G/Australia

Transcription kindly provided by Bernie Glynn