Missy Jubilee. 034. Perve 01

Perve 01 transcript

Transcript kindly provided by Bernie (BeeGee) Glynn


Glados: did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]—

Silence. I unfriend you

Night is the hardest time to be alive. 4am knows all my secrets

I have come hear to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum

It’s not true that I had nothing on, I had the radio on

Scared motherfucker?? Well you should be

Alright, now for the important stuff

For those following the story at home

This incident happened after the 1st orgasm episode and before the Cream’d episode

Four points of view. Four stories. Four films. Once incident

Rashomon style

A true life journey into the mind of a female sexual deviant

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you – Maya Angelou

Story one

Quick: what's the situation? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?

My story


My childhood beach

Somewhere in australia


To feel anything makes you realise you’re alive

The day after the incident in the 1st orgasm episode

I felt a lot

If you know what I mean

That day made my dopamine levels go all silly

I wanted more

I needed more

Go be yourself is just about the worst advice you can give some people

I went hunting for shame

Everyone on the beach could see me

And I enjoyed watching them watching me

The look of shock on their normal faces

This was not your stock standard occurrence for a Tuesday at this beach

And the whole time it felt like someone was following me

But all the other attention distracted me

Men would walk with me

Talking about everything apart from me being naked next to them

Plausible deniability I guess

But this is what they were looking at. We both knew that.

And this was me watching them watching me

This was starting to be my thing

But I had to find a stationary target

And I found him

Just a random guy

We were both in the right place at the right time

This was the approach

And this was the actual distance we were separated by

And then the show began

There was a lot of preparation to get through

I never realised how long towels take to unfold

A long time

I have always believed

That towel neatness is a virtue

I used the word virtue. That’s funny to me anyway.

And the hunt began with a look

More a confrontational stare really

Then the fastidiousness began

Such organisational skills

I wish my room at home was this neat

You can see what’s going on right?

I think it’s a similar thing that peacocks do

And then

Act one, scene one – horizontal

But first

One must adjust one’s hair

One must check if one has an audience

And one must protect oneself against skin cancer

Very very important

I’ll be quiet for a moment

So that was all fine

But I thought to myself

Wouldn’t it be more interesting

If we could see each other

And it was

This isn’t slow motion

This is the actual speed I was moving at

The same as when you’re in a car crash

Everything goes slow and weird

If you’ve been in a car accident

You’ll know what I mean

And then I needed to check if the ocean was still there

It was

And that was exciting to know

What about the sand I thought

The sand was still there

I always like to be on solid ground

Otherwise one might fall over

And then act two

Not falling over. Swimming

But first, the most important thing I had to do

Was to ensure I had an audience

Because is a tree falls in the forest and no-one sees it

Is it able to punish itself with shame?

To be continued


Welcome to my mind

Get out while you can

There is no shame without permission

{tribute to philip seymour hoffman follows}

Philip Seymour Hoffman Jul 23, 1967 – Feb 2, 2014

I most remember Philip Seymour Hoffman for his role in Todd Solondz’s film Happiness. It was his performance, and his willingness to take on such a disturbing and morally reprehensible role in a movie with so many controversial contemporary themes, that allowed me to believe that one day I could tell this story in film

Rock paper scissors

To be or not to be

Hello or goodbye

High or clean

Yes or no

Life or death

Sad or happy

Trick or treat

Roll the dice and shut the fuck up

The concept of range

In the movie business

This is called having range

Philip Seymour Hoffman had range. Lots of it

There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience – french proverb