Missy Jubilee. Fear

9pm first night of filming

Once in a while, put on your girl's face
A film of mine that you can show children without fear of arrest ...shit just got real

8 hours later
This film was shot over 6 consecutive nights with one camera in front of my main reference monitor while I was remixing the soundtrack for this film

There are a lot of sunglasses involved because it is highly sub-optimal working with bright light shining in my face night after night
There is a reason bright lights are used in torture
End of filming 5am first morning
Monsters don't live under my bed. They live in my head. So people say
Don’t. Walk. Dance
"off    "off    "off    "off
The    the    the    the
Wall"    wall"    wall"    wall"
This film features Brodinski live at the boiler room in Berlin
I admire his music & his DJ style, and I also like watching him mix while I mix
He could be the sexiest DJ in the world. Focus group of one
An Appaloosa Duck Production
A Missy Jubilee non-naked film
Episode 40 of 250 of the Future Sex Love Art Projekt
Fear & Consequences
I’m Missy Jubilee. And this is me at work. It's very meta I know
I’m a film maker, artist, experimental writer & sound sculptor
[on t-shirt] peep show princess
As a film maker, my subject is sexuality & the origins of desire
As artists my husband & I are married to a 12 year 250 film projekt to document and un-ravel my secret sexual persona from the age of four to 32 years old as a conceptual art piece
I’m pretty much naked in every film so far except this one
Art naked. Not porn naked. There's a difference Google
Naked as a metaphor for un-self-shamed female sexuality
Before starting in the film industry I wore clothes. True story
I was a DJ and remix producer. This was my music. This was my thing
But now I just do it for me. And the films I make. Like this one

You may have noticed I’m quite animated when I mix
That's because I have no fear of the consequences
I think everyone would do crazy stuff if they didn't...
Fear consequences
I have no fear of the consequences when I create soundscapes
Because I feel. Music. Deep down. Somewhere. It's cathartic
But with the Future Sex Love Art Projekt
So far out on the edge of experimental art film making
Consequences are all I think about when I’m not doing music
The consequences of this project have been personal to date
I may have lost my parents completely. Not to be dramatic
I am estranged from 95% of my friends. It is what it is
My best friend of 30 years said she couldn't be a friend anymore
Positives are, I wouldn't be doing anything else in the world
Our films are studied in universities, art & film schools
Our films are also studied by psychiatrists. I think that's positive
The consequences are what they are. I knew them going in
In truth, the only consequence I fear
Is not completing the 250 films. Every one as honest as hell
Because my life finally has a purpose. Granted. A weird purpose
7 yrs pre-production. 5 yrs filming. 12 yrs of my life. 2 reasons
1. Un-fuck my head 
2. Let all the pretty monsters out
I need to understand who I am and what caused the way I think
And why I carry so much sexual shame around with me
To be
'whatever begins in anger, ends in shame' - Benjamin Franklin
This is what I have to do before I die. Can't go backwards. I’m all in
Because everything I need is on the other side of fear
Note to self, I don't think I’ve done 250 of anything. Except the obvious
Music01/Brodinski DJ set/House of Vans/Boiler Room Berlin
Game over
Music02/Guns n' Roses/Sweet Child o' Mine/Electro mix 2011
Music03/Vintage Culture Remix/In The Air Tonight/Missy Mashup
Try again
Music04/21 Questions/50 Cents/Snbrn Remix
Do I look like a motherfucking role model?
This Is Art
(if you want it to be)
Music04/Get It On Bang A Gong/T.Rex 2012
Music06/Get It On Bang A Gong/Remix 2012
Music07/Mr. Dobalina/Del Tha Funkee Homosapien
Are You Bored?
Music08/Lazyboy/Underwhere Goes Inside The Pants
It is very loud in my head
Ok cool
So there's this boy
Bite me

Soundtrack Remixed By Missy Jubilee

Available for download at www.missyjubilee.com 

Part Two
I was born in 1981 in Australia. I am 33 years old
In 1983, the film Risky Business was released

It would be Tom Cruise's first major Hollywood role
The New York Times said it was 'part satire, part suburban poetry, part shameless showing off'
Many would call it the best film of 1983

I saw this film when I was 8. I don't remember where or how. All I remember is the train scene With tom cruise and the prostitute played by Rebecca DeMornay
Phil Collins 'In The Air Tonight' was used for this scene
I must have watched that scene 1000 times. Everytime. Chills
The desperate untidy depiction of sexuality & desire, the cinematography, the troglodytic lights & exogenic sounds
This scene is why music in films is important to me
That scene made me want to make films. So I could fix me
Hurt people hurt people. Pain patterns get passed on
I want to break that pattern in my family. And in my life
With the only 3 weapons available to me. Film. Music. Honesty
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness
-Leo Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata
Where is it deluded to say beauty makes whatever inner ugliness that exists much easier to listen & react kindly to
Six nights in the studio
One film
One remix
One soundscape
One music video
Film is my lover. Music is my bitch

Quack me!