Missy Jubilee. 041. Then (NSFW version)


Hi Missy and Max,

The films are surprising, erotic, complex and at times unexpected. I'll refrain from saying "shocking" or "unsettling" because I'm jaded, and while I feel some of those things are inappropriate, clearly they're normal for you..... but there's got to be more simmering below the surface... clearly it's what fuels you to do the work you do. It's stunning. I believe in you, Missy... and if anything I say can influence you to let it out.... just give me a chance.

First, I'm going with a goofy motto. "No question is a stupid question." That's bullshit, but there's some truth in it. No matter how mundane the question is, if there are others who have the same question, then it has a purpose, even if it is stupid.

- I love seeing the evolution of your script list. I vote you keep it posted in some form.
- 3. A single sentence..... what you didn't say. (THEN) Awesome. I hope it comes out. Showing the interview, in my opinion would be fabulous.... probably not erotic... but central and more importantly, probably critical to your story.

The cinematography, as always, is beautiful. I keep hoping it to be better than it is (and I realize that's not the compliment I'd like it to be), but then I have an unrealistic expectation of great cinematography that's been fostered in me by watching surreal, sometimes brilliant Hollywood films for far too long. Enough criticism. I like it... I could like it more, but then if it was all the way I like, then it would be my art. Also, if there's a birdie in the back of your collective head that wonders if you should keep evolving, I'll second it's motion.

However, and this also is beautiful.... I'm sure Max has pointed it out.. it feels like you are more connected to the viewer, specifically the nude sequence, but definitely the interview sequence is significant because we see vulnerability which is also something that's rare up to now. Specifically, the narrative over it gives peeks under the surface... very beautiful. I just want you to know that I think that's particularly significant... perhaps a milestone in the project. Perhaps it is part of the revelation that's happened in the last weeks for you... but whatever it is, a line has been crossed. You're palpable... not just a beautiful erotic model with brilliant dialog. You've stepped from being lifelike... to surreal... to tangible. Now, it's easy to say that it's because you want to display shame and insecurity, but it seems that this time is different. The shots of you in the interview chair and the clips of you prepping and looking furtively... they all contribute to a Missy that feels as though she's been hidden in every scene of every video until now. Is it inaccurate to observe that you can bare more with your clothes on than you do sometimes in skin only?

You wrote in a post... I'll paraphrase because I forgot to copy the link... That you feel for art to be pure, it must come from within, without input or suggestions from others. While it's my opinion, and therefore as fallible as all opinions, I don't think that's possible or even an ideal to be aspired to... since even one's own art is a synthesis of singular experiences, some of which may be shared or imposed by others. Even the mere act of being taught or looking at the art of others is an influence and defines the space of the artist from which her art will erupt. In other words... if we, or I (yes, I would), were to contribute ideas or art to your project... I can't see how that dilutes your art if you incorporate it... as it would be incorporated in the way you see it being meaningful to your project, or montage. As much as you are unique and should have a copyright on anything you create... it is you because it is the sum of your experiences, loves, hates... whatever, whenever. :)

More throwback questions... "Missy Jubilee": I wonder if this name came from high school...? :) I have a feeling I'm not the first person to ask this question, but I see you've tried to deflect it by giving another definition of "Jubilee". If you spent hours at the beach near your town daily in the summer.... surely the kids at school eventually talked about it and it was at least gossip, if not common knowledge to some. I think that and how you dealt with it would be important to your story. At my school, very, very few girls allowed themselves to be known as sluts, and while I did run with some pretty free spirits, I never heard of any of them doing the things you have talked about so far... and I'm sure there's at least a bit more you'll be telling us that's going to be a surprise that for some reason you haven't mentioned or implied. My point or question? Is this a topic for your project, or something you'll just answer if somebody asks...?

I don't want to ask mundane questions. I don't think they're worth asking if they don't keep recurring in my head. I hope the questions spark your imagination.... or memories... and they help.

Completely changing the subject again: This should probably be at the top.... but one major feeling that I got from this video, particularly the interview sequence, is that overwhelming feeling of compassion that wells up in your throat and spreads like heat through your body. I don't know if hugs mean the same to you, but that's what I would do. Hug you. Maybe that's part of what will come out eventually, that the comfort and reassurance you have always needed have never been there when you needed them most. Hug her Max. Keep her safe. (...just my emotional response, not that I think Max cares what I say, much less would he do as I tell him).

Okay, so... even though you don't get too specific, you have implied more than once that you have mental issues and have taken medication for mental illness. Is it too much to ask what's the condition? Is emotional detachment part of it? I think you've hinted at how long you took medication, but nothing more than hints. 

Internet porn.... has shown up in your videos. I get that your art is thoughtfully designed to be what it is, but clearly you've been impacted by porn too. I'm guessing the start was sneaking your parents books, but what else happened? I assume that at some point you were hooked on internet porn, even if only for a short while or for reasons other than most people would imagine.

Finally, thank you once again. Outwardly, that's generalized, but the feelings are specific and sincere. Thanks for opening up, taking time to write down and create tangible visions of things the rest of us just think and assimilate... think and bridle at... think and throw away. Thanks for taking time you don't have to answer things you aren't comfortable with or don't think important yet.