Taking a break inbetween snow shoveling here, watched the Portugal TVI segment again. Something familiar jumped out - @ 39 minutes in, your quote "because I view being sexual as the only component of my self worth and self identity." Yeah, I know that. There is more, of course, but that is some hardcore hardwiring. I love women. I have been intercoursely monogamous for 44 years, but I love women.
When I was shooting the horse several lifetimes ago, one of the aspects that struck me was ... you don't need sex. The big horse fills that need, and a myriad of others... a profound result being anti-social attitudes. I told myself I was doing it for knowledge, an excuse I used for all sorts. One conclusion of that quest was that some knowledge isn't worth the price. I learned to say "Oops, wrong door, excuse me" and back out. And I'm still here. Stick around Missy, grow & prosper.
p.s. sort of hand to mouth, financial wise, but I would like to help support your work. Perhaps I can get over my issues with the 3rd party intermediaries. Best wishes, my regards to Max.