Washing Day


Always enjoy your writings…..the inner and outer viewpoints (opinions) from your perspective.

Lets see where to begin….why is that always the question 9/10 of the time in life. I guess you cant start at the end….but then again why not?

Well I guess I will just let it roll from my brain to my 2 fingers and let them talk.

I will tell you there really isn’t failure in life (although you state pushing ahead without the fear of failing). Either way they are manmade concepts and  its flawed like every other thing man has ever made. Fear is an emotion and whole ‘nuther subject for another day.

Fear is not even a concept really…its another attempt for “humanity” to define things in black and white and avoid the grey.

I’m a recovering what society refers to as a functioning alcoholic – sober 10 years (yay!) and if there is one thing I am quite familiar with is self-loathing and the laundry that goes with it.

Also, with the fact that some see me as damaged goods. So be it-its helped shaped me and I am at peace with the whispers at dinner parties or kids soccer games.

Did I fail while being such a  good “functioning” alcoholic? Depends who you ask I suppose. And now that I am sober am I somehow a “success” in some peoples eyes?…..again, depends who you ask.

And alas we come to the conclusion that failure is an opinion…..and who is the harshest judge?

Ourselves……………………..so with that you have taken your 2 week, 2000 kilo journey.

Feels good doesn’t it- a reboot of the mind and reset of our internal opinions and how we perceive the opinions of others; the judgment.

 Do you care to even know this stuff about me? Honestly, I don’t care – I saw you naked, hanging your laundry and figured I would at least engage in conversation while I was masturbating behind the fence.

From my perspective its better than being a quiet Brian and just staring at you while beating the crap out of my penis until it explodes….only so I can shamefully walk away while you feel empowered at my weakness. So maybe by adding the human element I feel less selfishly shameful. But for you – hmmm, for you…….you still feel like the empowered object?

 But what am I (we, the Brians) to you? Am I (we) the object(s) that brings you the excitement and the pain?

We are the pegs I suppose in a new medium no?

So at the end of the day we sit in a room together and I see 2 people…….what do you see? Do you see 2 objects?

 Or have a failed to even grasp what you are trying to convey?

I’m just a simple man