We all have wants and needs that are incredibly complex and change all the time and since this is happening to everybody all the time, the fact that two people 'click' and fall in love is a miracle indeed.
Memories last I guess because of some cellular storage system in our brains. But those brain cells are surely subject to corruption? Memories can be led. Which is why the Police are taught to take eyewitness statements from a crime as soon after the event as possible. We surreptitiously embellish memories with what we want them to be like. We remember our memories then remember remembering them. Even our most fucked up regretful and shameful behaviour becomes something else in our corrupt memories over time. Not something to be too concerned about but what I am trying to say here is that given all of my observations above I conclude: we are not the same people physically and mentally, than we used to be. We are now someone else entirely. We latch on to the familiar and sink our teeth and nails in. The memories grow bitter and twisted or fade to insignificance.
I wonder whether I carry a deadness in me that is so unbearable that I can only bring myself to life through sexual attraction
Lust is the spark that ignites the flame of love. It will not hold up on its own. You cant live on a staple diet of lust forever. But if you have used the spark well you will have that roaring fire of love to keep you warm.
Max said to the child: I'm attracted to your mind your unguarded thoughts theres life in those thoughts
I am getting a deep respect for Max here. From you to him, and through your writing from us to the man himself. I think we all expect a level of commitment from our partners. A level of understanding that will go beyond the mundane. In this video you have introduced us (a bit more) to Max. Your mutual respect and love for one another is evident and it is beautiful. Nothing makes the soul sing sweeter than the manifestation of love.