Coping with depression is hard. There is a tendency to internalise, to withdraw to a ‘safe place’ within ourselves but that can take us away from those who love us. Those to whom we will finally emerge.
There is a melancholy song called ‘We Will’ by Ray O’Sullivan (Gilbert - Though Rumer does a lovely version too). Which I interpret to be all about loneliness following the loss of a partner (no, no, no. I am not trying to align this with your story - please bear with me), which to be honest is a common theme in his songs. The middle eight goes:
"It's not easy pretending that you cannot hear
Once you've suffered the affliction within
It's no use in an ending to proclaim from the start
That the moral of the story's to begin”
I believe that the message he is trying to convey is that the sense of an ending is only that; a sense (and here is where I finally am trying to align to my interpretation of your poetry). The beauty of life is that it goes on despite us not because of us. Sometimes we feel that there is no answer. That we have an itch in a place that cannot be scratched. But when we stop and look again, we see we were missing something obvious. Someone to scratch it for us.
I believe that buried deep within our DNA is the need to form relationships. To love and be loved. It is a gene that needs to be activated, one that requires effort we sometimes feel we do not have. However, It can be this that saves us.
Your video is a lovely snapshot in time. Hold on to that hand tight you beautiful talented girl.