On the process


Thank you for your kind note. I'll dot point it so I don't forget to address anything:

You always take the time to reply, which is lovely. But please do not think you have to:

Alan, I do have to. I am genetically programmed to. If someone takes the time and effort to write to me, then I cannot in anyway shape or form ignore that, or take it for granted. That is not polite or good manners. It is not a chore and it doesn't wear me down. I am blessed that people want to discuss the concepts I am trying to articulate visually. The only thing that frustrates me is that there is only 24 hours in a day - but I'm working on an app for that :)

I will continue to praise your video's as long as you keep posting them and I think they are praiseworthy

I seek nothing but unvarnished honest feedback - positive or negative. I am not a compliment whore. Feedback helps me fine tune what I am doing. I operate in a vacuum, and that's always dangerous. Perspective is what I seek.

I mean every word I write, it is not in my nature to be dishonest when it comes to praise. Believe me.

I do believe you, and have never thought otherwise

I am sensing on the whole, that you are getting lots and lots of mail these days. Answering them must be a slog. Don't make it unenjoyable.

Engaging with intelligent, creative, perceptive people who have taken the time to absorb and process my art and offer thoughts and observations to enable it to be better is never un-enjoyable or a slog - and it never will be. I hope I never become THAT person.

 I will not take a lack of response negatively, or personally, nor will it stop me commenting in the future. Unless you indicate to me to stop.

Well, this is a moot point - cause that ain't gonna happen :)

Don't let it take over your life though, what attracted me to your video's in the first place was the eroticism in the story, particularly in Cream'd, but since you have been making more personal statements and I have grown to like you as a strong woman who is unafraid to bare your soul and body to the internet. 

Alan, this is a very perceptive point. The first phase was the basic eroticism of a carefree personality, then there was the deep dive into the psychology and motivation behind some of those initial videos - perhaps showing that what you see on the surface is quite a false or misleading representation of pain and rejection portrayed as self indulgence and sexuality. The storyline will go back to eroticism, and then will probably veer off in other tangential directions. It's all part of a process of layering what is quite a complex psychology. But also, through this process, I know I have lost a segment of the audience that was just there initially for the tits and arse - because one thing I know that has never been said by anyone is - 'I know what I'd like, I'd like my porn to include psychological problems, loss, death, abandonment, rejection and fear'. This worries me not at all, because porn is never what I set out to do. But on the flip side, I have gained a whole other audience that is what I call the 'documentary' audience as opposed to the 'porn' audience - people who have an interest in the human condition and the psychology behind it, and also are aware that sexuality is the core to the human condition. The naked body for them just becomes a metaphor for a person stripped bare of the pretence of ego as represented by clothes as masks. What I am trying to do is create a genre that is a collision between intelligence, psychology, documentary, erotica and music video - and using myself and my experiences as the basis. Not a small challenge, but one that makes me get up each morning and attempt it. 

If I fail, I fail. But I gave it a go. And I got some stuff out of my head.  :)

Missy x


On demons

'Just get over it' always seems like the easiest and most practical advice, but also possibly the most impossible to action when something is so ingrained in your psyche.

I can't see my demons faces, but with each film, their presence is more keenly felt, and with each film, their power over me lessens.

I have found a way, after many years of searching, of at least living with my demons without them tearing me apart from the inside. And this is why I do these films. Not for any concept of fame or adulation, but as a way of surviving this life that happened to me.

It is this or insanity. And I choose this

This will be addressed in a coming video. My grandmother was lobotomised when she was 40, and died in an insane asylum. These films are my desperate attempt to free myself from these demons before society decides to do it for me, in a way I may not be happy with.


On limits

  • 23/09/2013 20:25

    Missy Jubilee

    Tania, may I ask you what you thought of the last episode as a woman?. Please feel free to be as critical as you like. Criticism makes me better  x

  • Tania Rose Haimon
  • Hi Missy, so I have watched it a few times and i have to say the more i watch your videos the more i appreciate your art. I find what you do so evocative, raw and beautiful. Chain'd grew on me after watching it more then once... its darker and leaves me wondering.. is there more? Are you extending it to be release in full on Sept 30? Its really interesting for me and quite apt actually because something i am really working with in myself is my own sexual fantasies... and i;m realising that you are helping me with this. I am exploring and express this darker side within me but am totally challenged by it at the same time... I feel Chain'd is a reflection of that.. mmm how timely!!! Joao and myself have spoken quite extensively about your work and what it evokes for us personally...totally different perspectives but i feel as a woman that what u do is fuel for dialogue and exploration... its also really interesting for me to open to his experience of watching you as a total erotic sexual and gorgeous woman and then reflect on my own experience...and what i am I hope it is ok to be totally honest and personal with u... i feel there is magikal element in connecting with you and what you are doing. I think thats all for now but anymore thought i have i will be sure to send your way.. power to you girrrrlfriend

  • Missy Jubilee
  • Tania, thank you so much for your insight. I know it is a burden to ask someone to deconstruct a piece, but from you, I knew/thought I could get some valuable insight - so I hope you don't mind me asking. I actually ask for feedback from very few people (80% of people know shit and just go with what is popular - you know my attitude on that) - so firstly, I appreciate you taking valuable time out of your day to help me fine tune what I'm doing. The reason for my question is this - I know what males like about the films (duh!), but with them, there is a line I will go up to, but no more, no matter how much they ask, or whether they threaten to disengage because I won't, or what ever they want to say to try to get their way with a girl that says - this is my line - and your not going to make me feel inadequate, or somehow failing - because I won't give YOU what you want. My body is a prop. It is really the only prop I have. And I have to use it judicously, and creatively, so I can stretch that prop over 250 episodes without getting to a point of - well, I better give them what they want cause I don't have anything else. So in essence, my body the prop is 30% of the equation, the stories 70% of the equation. Some will get the limitations, some won't. It is what it is. But as a woman, I am trying to voice the concerns, limitations, insecurities, fears, shame, embarrassment, gender stereotyping that many women feel. And I am trying to do this through my own experience - without preaching, cause I don't know shit about what the answer is. I'm hoping that at the end of 250, perhaps I will - because when I watch the films, I see thoughts and things that I've never seen before. Some shit starts to make sense. It is very surreal. And public. Uncomfortably so.

    ok, here is my challenge. No guy ever said - you know what I want. I want psychoanalysis with my porn. I want to know how fucked up the girl I'm fantasizing about is. That was said. NEVER

  • Challenge 2. I find sexuality/porn is either directed to a male audience, or a female audience. It is very hard to do erotica for a combination - unless it is just all about sex to get both off. My theory is that I can do that if....the first focus is the story, and then it is wrapped in sexuality to keep the male audience engaged. But to keep the male audience engaged, I then have to ensure that I am not alienating the female audience with grossness. These fine lines and making these films is like having a thousand spinning plates in the air. Seriously.

    So, to the nub of my enquiry, if I ever do anything that alienates you, puts you off, or makes you feel like I'm pandering to the guys in the cheap seats, please let me know. I will have stepped too far over that line if you do. I am reasonably confident that I can do it, but also aware that I'm human. Long story short, I would value your thoughts as a woman as to how authentic, tasteful, stylish, truthful, engaging, sexually insightful I am being - and whether I am mirror the lived experience of the majority of women, even if they prefer not to admit it. If there is any problems with any of those elements - or you sense me careening off into porn - please be my little yellow canary down the coal mine?


    On grabbing one's own breasts

    • Bernie Glynn Show off!

    • Jason Patrick Lambert So do I. What's your point?

    • Missy Jubilee Just stating the facts for the record your honor, just in case there was any doubt  x

    • Bernie Glynn Yes Yes Ms. Jubilee. we've all seen the video... I still say you are just showing off 

    • TRH Me too!

    • Missy Jubilee TRH and I are just creatively expressive bodywise. Show-off?. I'm not familiar with this concept?. Is it a thing that girls do because it's one of the few thing that they can exert power over men within a highly patriarchal society?. Is that like a shark biting things because it's got a big arse mouth to bite things with?. Bad sharks. Such showoffs! Get you some knowledge and awreness sharks. Otherwise it's going to be like - I just got bitten by a shark. Don't worry about it, they're just showoffs. Just ignore it. Boo-fuckin-yah on the reasoned argument front  x

    • Missy Jubilee If there was an emoticon for a smug self satisfied look, I would place it here........... x

    • TRH I heard Dr Karl say today that woman's breasts are actually modified sweat glands that can convert blood into milk.... basically boobs have super powers! And they feel fkn awesome... who in their right mind would have them and not grab them... just sayin

    • Bernie Glynn Yes I agree TRH, who would not grab them, so when are you going to let me grab them? I've seen your Facebook page. It seems its all about woman power - well good on you! Seriously, all power to you.

    • Missy Jubilee If I had an emoticon for uncomfortable silence, I would put it here....................... x

    • Bernie Glynn Yes... it would be a good place to put it...

    • Joāo Dujon Pereira Bernie.... be respectful, go grab your own boobs.

    • TRH Totally Missy Jubilee... or a button that says "wrong town "

    • Bernie Glynn I shouldn't have mentioned woman power - damn it!

    • Bernie Glynn In a cosmic sense, we are all the same thing, we are all of the one spirit, so that means in a weird way, all boobs are up for the grabbin! But in a more legal way, that seems to be a fast way to gaol... so I better not, even though I want to...

    • Missy Jubilee I kid you Bernie. TRH, put a black mark in the I'm just a sexist pig column for Bernie. But by the end of the day, he will have quantitatively more marks in the I'm really a good guy column. He just can't help it. He is infected with a nasty case of penis and testicles.  x

    • TRH LOL

    • Bernie Glynn Damned P&T infection... I can't help it. Sorry TRH.

    • Missy Jubilee Bernie, meet Joao. Joao meet Bernie. Joao plays with TRH's breasts (I assume). Just useful and pertinent information. Is there an emoticon for .....o fuck!. x

    • Bernie Glynn Is there a secret club here that I have not been invited to Missy? Like the Victorian Women's Sexual Power and Boob Grabbin' Club. Because if that club exists, I want IN! 

    • Joāo Dujon Pereira Just because one has a penis and testicles, doesn't mean one can't be respectful in their manner. It is really quiet farking simple. P.s my comments aren't only coming from the basis that I actually have access to her breasts, it is in general.

    • Missy Jubilee I just realised there is a huge need for useful emoticon design. Like a drive a truck through gap in the market. Fuck short films, emoticons is where the fistful of dollars is.  x
    • Bernie Glynn Hmmm well I meant no disrespect Joāo. I was just tryig to have fun with the boob grabbin' thing.

    • Missy Jubilee Joao, can I do a tip jar for emoticon design? Cause I'm going to be all over that shit  x

    • Joāo Dujon Pereira You can do anything you please... you already do 

    • Missy Jubilee I back Bernie up on that Joao. We all say things we say good humouredly, but it comes out wrong. I vouch for Bernie. I know that's not worth much, but it's all I got. Maybe I should set up a tip jar for having Bernie's back. Bernie get your wallet out.  x

    • Bernie Glynn My Wallet...Again! Oh.. OK!. Sheese!

    • Missy Jubilee I on the other hand have never said anything wrong. People just seem to avoid me after I have spoken to them. But I don't think they're related. Hmmmmm......... x

    • Vinod Chellath its part of their body....own body,

    • Bernie Glynn Vinod, lets not get into a deep spiritual conversation here. I just ask one question, if there was a big bang, where did the nachos come from - answer that my friend and you will know that all boobs are part of the great boob...

    • Missy Jubilee No Juan ever said no to nachos. Ever.  x

    • Bernie Glynn CUMB... No Juan... heheheh


    On clowns

    Michael Lowe shared a link.

    again something to slip in there amongst the collection of circus freaks you got going ;) 

    Spooky clown mystery grips Northampton

    A spooky clown has been scaring Northampton residents in full costume and make up.

    He is red haired and white faced and has appeared in several locations in the Abington and Kingsley areas.

    A Facebook page has now been set up for the clown called Spot Northampton's Clown which has already achieved over 3,000 likes since it went live yesterday.

    • Missy Jubilee I got a whole demented clown thing going on because of the Rod E Tirrell Sr. influence. Before he gave me insight into crazy clowns, I thought they were just some bloke in face paint. Now I think they are mirroring societal shame, darkly curious, vaguely perverted, weirdly spooky, very creative with makeup, overtly sexual and just generally ya ya yaaaaaa  x


    On being faithful

  • Johanna:
  • Hey

  • 08:12Missy Jubilee

    Hey you x

  • Johanna:
  • can I ask you something

  • 08:13Missy Jubilee

    Fire away x

  • Johanna:
  • You are a girl for sure right

    You don't post many pics

  • 08:18Missy Jubilee

    Last time I looked. Don't post any photos here cause FB has already banned me twice. But if you go to my website and go to the visuals tab, all the photos are there x

  • Johanna:
  • You like girls?

  • 08:32Missy Jubilee

    You mean sexually?. I like girls, but I'm married and have been for 8 years, so sexually I would say that I'm more attracted to men, but I love girls artistically. x

  • Johanna:
  • Yes I mean sexually

    So you are married I noticed on your website

    Are you faithful?

  • 08:35Missy Jubilee

    Very. I have no reason not to be. My husband is my creative partner. Besides, I am actually attracted to intelligence more than anything else, and he is the smartest, most creative person I've ever met. Why do you ask? x

  • Johanna:
  • I wanted to see your answer I'm curious

  • 08:37Missy Jubilee

    What did you expect my answer to be? And why are you curious?. I've done the ol' switcharooney on the question thingy. x

  • Johanna:
  • Lol

    You are into sexual things I see and I wanted to see your view on marriage and having one partner

  • 08:42Missy Jubilee

    What is your view on marriage and having one partner?. Personally, I would rather be with one person who knows everything about you than lots of lovers who know you superficially. Besides, I lack for nothing emotionally, sexually or intellectually. And my husband is 52, and I'm 32 - so it's not like I'm going to outgrow him. I'm constantly trying to catch up with him. I might outlive him, but probably will never outgrow him x

  • Johanna:
  • I feel like sexually something is wrong with me idk I can't figure it out

  • 08:45Missy Jubilee

    What's wrong with you? I would assume from your questioning that you are into girls. Is that what you think is wrong with you x

  • Johanna:
  • No lol I love pussy

    I'm ok with that ... I just seem to fall in love but still want to be with other people

    Other people can't understand how I'm so in love but could still share sexual encounters with others

    To me it's just sex which is so different than love

  • 08:47Missy Jubilee

    You're wearing a wedding ring correct? x

  • Johanna:
  • No

  • 08:48Missy Jubilee

    That's not a wedding ring in your profile photo? x

  • Johanna:
  • On my profile yes but I'm not married

  • 08:49Missy Jubilee

    Ok, let me summarise my knowledge at this point and construct a straw man. You're a lesbian (no labels) who likes sex but hasn't fallen madly in love with anyone. Yet. Anything to add to that straw man? x

  • Johanna:
  • Yes way too much to add

    Want to try to figure me out?

    Ill tell you more if you like

  • 08:51Missy Jubilee

    How about you tell me what I need to know to come to some productive conclusion, otherwise I'm just wild ass guessing, and that never serves anyone well. x

  • Johanna:
  • Well I think a huge thing is the fact that I use to belong to a religion or I should say I was part of a religion called Jehovah's witnesses

    I was born into it and became a very strong believer

    I have no idea if you know anything about them.  Do you?

  • 08:53Missy Jubilee

    I was born into a cult, so I know about the dynamics of indoctrination. x

  • Johanna:
  • Oh really?! That's so interesting ... So intriguing

    So yeah anyway I believed what I taught and I was all about being godly and blah blah blah ... Well my family kept me secluded and they things they did supposably to protect me just drove me crazy

    I felt caged up and just crazy ... What started off as me just wanting a little bit of freedom became a hunt for affection

    Lets just say I became addicted to porn and online chats and all kinds of crazy things

    I met a girl ... Ugly as fuck but she showed me attention so I left everything I knew and loved

    Ended up moving with this girl in the most horrible situations ... She put me down, abused me mentally and physically to the point I still have issues bc of her

    Finally got away from her bc I thought she would kill me ... I met a couple months later a girl that  became my wife

    She was everything to me ... I have no one ever since I left my home ... All the love I gave it to her ... Obviously things didn't work out

    That's after 3.5 yrs later

    I was head over heels in love with her but I always wanted to fuck around

    And I did basically the whole time

    I've felt so sexually frustrated my whole life ... I remember being 9 and wanting to fuck

    I never had any sexual influences since I was sheltered so I have no idea why I was like that

    I was a good girl growing up and I always dismissed those feelings but when I left my home I felt like I have to fuck like a animal and I loved it I'm not going to lie

    I'm extremely open minded

    I feel like a man most times

    Now I'm with another girl that crazy enough I feel a lot more feelings than my x wife but I still want to fuck other people ... Only difference is this time around I'm honest and open about my feelings

    What do you think?

  • 09:05Missy Jubilee

    Interesting. Could we agree on one thing though, let's leave out things like ugly as fuck. No-one has anything to do with how they look, whether they are pretty or not so classically pretty. You get what you're given. It's what you do with your mind that counts. I have to go and edit the next video, getting one out every 2 weeks is a headfuck sometimes. But let's come back to this discussion. I would ask this of you though - watch three of my short films - Showerlust (about shame), H.2.OH (about sexual thoughts at the age of 4) and Ctrl Alt Del Me (about being rejected by my parents). If I could ask that of you, then that will help you understand that on the surface, we have many similarities. I would be interested to find out what other crossovers there are. Can you do that for me? x

  • 09:07Missy Jubilee

    I would be interested to know if you see yourself in any of those short films x

  • Johanna:
  • I have seen some of your films and I love them

    I do see myself in them

    And she is ugly as fuck bc her insides are ugly

  • 09:13Missy Jubilee

    Let's focus on positives not negatives. You're only projecting your insecurities onto her, no matter what you convinced yourself of. I understand that there are negative people, but making statements like that is just making you a negative person. Is that what you want?

  • Johanna:
  • Well she would put a gun to my face and tell me she would kill me if I left

    I had to run away

    I was homeless for a bit

  • Johanna:
  • We all do things that are crazy and make us cringe when we look back on them. I know I have. But you don't have a gun to your face now, and I'm assuming you're not homeless now, unless homeless people having mobile phones is now a thing

  • Johanna:

    I'm a positive person n I've made it far bc of that but I do believe there're evil people in this world

    Everyone makes mistakes I agree with that

  • 09:19Missy Jubilee

    You seem very locked in the

  • past. What are you doing to change what you don't like about you're current situation x

  • Johanna:
  • I'm being me I'm being honest idk what else to do

  • 09:21Missy Jubilee

    Maybe stop being so defensive?

  • Johanna:
  • I always get hurt though

    I've been told I always have a wall up

    I just don't know how to break that down

  • 09:30Missy Jubilee

    I'm not criticising you. I'm asking you what your plan is to change your situation, cause no-one is going to do it for you. Not me. Not any lover. Not a book. Just you. So if you don't have any idea what/how you're going to change, maybe think through what you could do? Maybe take some baby positive steps. I don't know - I have a degree in applied mathematics, not psychology. So if you've got any addition or subtraction or standard deviation equations solved, I could be your go to person. But other than that, I'm just a fucked up girl like you who doesn't quite understand where she fits in. I've got a lot of issues, really really big issues that I'm trying to sort out, and the way I'm doing to is writing and making short films about how fucked up I am. Once I get the thoughts into a film, they disappear from my head. Finally I'm creating space in my head for positive thoughts. Better than any therapy or self help book. But that doesn't make me an expert. I'm an expert at being fucked up, but pretty much nothing else. Have you thought about writing a blog and letting all your thoughts spill out instead of keeping them bottled up? x

  • Johanna:
  • I don't really want ppl to see how fucked up I am I guess

    You said some helpful things though ill think about it

  • 09:46Missy Jubilee

    Let me tell you one thing girlfriend. When you change this sentence - I don't really want ppl to see how fucked up I am I guess - your situation will change. People like imperfect, brave, complex people. When you become brave, you will attract the person you are lacking. You have prettygirlification - you were blessed with prettiness, and that is your one greatest limiting asset, because it isn't an asset. Oh, it's an asset if you want to attract superficial people. But you'll just as quickly lose them. x

    p.s. let me tell you something. You could well be a guy, and this could all be a game for you to get off on. It's only happened.......hmmmmm........a hundred times before. I don't care whether you're being truthful or not. I don't care about being played or taken for a fool. Because it's not about me. It's only about you. You gotta do what you gotta do. I gotta do what I gotta do. Other people gotta do what they gotta do. So I take everything at face value. Helps me sleep easier at night. If you think of some things to do that might change the situation you're in, let me know. I would be curious to follow your progress, or lack thereof x

    p.s. thinking about doing something is just a mentally noisey way of not doing anything.

  • Johanna:
  • I'm a girl and what I told you is the truth and I need to put my thoughts together ill get back with you ... Beauty is a curse

  • 10:03Missy Jubilee

    No it's not. Beauty is beauty. It is neither a curse, or an asset. Ooooo, my life is so hard, I was cursed with beauty is one of the biggest cliche going for people who are committed to not changing. Just a thought. Not a criticism. x

  • Johanna:
  • I don't think I'm beautiful but people tell me I am ... My family never let me express myself and they sheltered me ... I thought I was ugly my whole life basically

    Now that I'm a bit older and have lived through things I see I'm not as ugly as I thought I was

    I've been uses and abused but I've learned to live through it and work on healing

    Most of the time idk what the fuck I'm doing


    On dying in a reckless manner

    • What would you do if you weren't afraid? 

      Jason Patrick Lambert 

      1.Feel free.
      2.Like I had a lobotomy. 
      3.Probably die recklessly early.

      Missy Jubilee How would you die recklessly early?. Truck drag racing or some such thing?  x

    • Jason Patrick Lambert Cant say really... I'm too afraid of the possibilities

    • Missy Jubilee Can't really say how would would die recklessly?. How mysterious........ I was told once that there are only three acceptable ways for a man to die in a manly way - gunshot wound, knife attack or being mauled by a Lion. Parachuting out of a stricken F22 - without a parachute came in 4th apparently, due to stupidity entering the equation.  x

    • Jason Patrick Lambert That was a poor attempt at humour.

    • I like number 4 ... once you got over the screaming you have a least the time to update your Facebook profile.

      Jason Patrick Lambert Motorsport both tarmac and dirt would thrill me to peices. 

    • The skydiving glider suit looks a blast.
      Rock Climbing to a summit then parashutting off it ... or use the glidersuit.

      Missy Jubilee This is very true. Priorities must play a part in the planning of recklessness. No good being reckless if no-one knows/likes/shares your recklessness. If a tree falls recklessly in a forest, and no-one posts a photo and shares it, did it really fall? Of course it didn't. What a stoopid question. In the words of Skinny Pete - it's science bitch. Look it up  x

    • Roxanne Cavalieri Not being afraid of anything is sometimes scary in itself.......

    • Missy Jubilee I take offense at your assertion that I made a poor attempt at humour. Please get it right. It was a piss poor attempt. Words are important.  x

    • Jason Patrick Lambert Ha! I was speaking about myself Missy.

    • Missy Jubilee Hello Roxanne, I was beginning to think you were a non-talking robot avatar. Welcome sweetheart. Jason. Roxanne. Roxanne. Jason  x

    • Jason Patrick Lambert Hi rocken Roxy

    • Missy Jubilee Roxanne is blessed with prettiness  x

      Missy Jubilee  I think we scared her off x

       Roxanne Cavalieri Ha! No I am REAL, although an Avatar would be cool. Hi Missy, Hi Jason x

    • Missy Jubilee Nope there she is 

    • Jason Patrick Lambert You spoke too soon....

      Roxanne Cavalieri Too kind..... My iPhone is blessed with some great filters too!!

    • Missy Jubilee Log out now Roxanne. Nothing good can happen when you're in the middle of Jason/Missy stupidity  x

    • Roxanne Cavalieri Ha ha...... Ok, thanks for the warning!


    On identity

    Missy Jubilee

    You know that Eminem song from 8 mile that goes - if you had one shot, one chance, what would you do? (not sure they are the exact words since memorising Eminem lyrics is not one of my strong points) - well, I've taken a year off from my real job. I thought I could do both, but nay. Sometimes you got to move all your chips into the center of the table and go all in (I know very little about poker apart from moving chips to the center of the table). So I'm a little more relaxed about my identity, and besides, I stand behind the work we are doing. If anyone in the industry has a problem with it, poo to them (although I know quite a few will. 'Porn' is the red headed step-child of film - nothing against red headed step-children). Nothing more dangerous than a closed mind.

    Optical Alkemi: 

    • Well I guess it is all a matter of interpretation, as I don't see your work as 'Porn' and anyone that does needs their head read.

      You have story... and I don't see you being rammed etc.  And I don't imagine we will be seeing anything like that in Miss Jubilee

      A documentary on you would be fascinating., but at the same time the secrecy and unknown is what keeps it dynamic.

      Also commented that can only imagine the types of emails you must receive, from haters as well as explicit sexual ones from men.

      Missy Jubilee

    • Hooley dooley, you have no idea............one day I'll publish a book of all the off message communications I have got. It will curl your ears. This is my favourite from last week, not because of it's crudeness, but because of it's ridiculousness -

      "I would be available to fuck you, but I've lost my license, so if you were able to pick me up from Bankstown, we could make this happen".

      Of course we could.

      #ya ya yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (seriously, I'm going to make that a hashtag)




    Sexual submission triptych

    Kaleb Tilley:


    You warned me that this last installment would be different, and I
    wasn't disappointed.

    It wasn't as long as some of the previous videos, but for the message
    it had to deliver, it was just the right length.  You even got a
    chuckle out of me when you were flashing all those funny faces at the
    end .. You've got a great smile .. :-)

    That was a very interesting, timely, and appropriate quote, too.

    I get the impression that this video was just the beginning of this
    particular "vaginarama" study.

    As always, thank you for sharing your journey .. And thank you for

    making me part of this discussion.


    Kaleb, thank you for your kind thoughts, and as always, apologies for taking so long to get back to you. And you are right, it is just the beginning of the Vaginarama study, but possibly not in the way people expect. The second part Swooon takes a different route, and the final instalment Chain'D goes totally troppo. Just by the name, you would expect it to go a certain way - but it will be very interesting to see/hear what people make of Chain'D and whether they can deal with it.

    And you do not need to thank me for you being a part of the conversation, it is me that should be thanking you - and I therefore say - thank you :) 

    Missy x






    On creativity

    oliver js pratt

    Hi Missy,

    great to hear back from u

    glad u found the time

    yes i do have an exceptional eye for detail esp in relation to arts, presentation, composition etc i like to immerse myself fully and that way become connected to what is going on and being said with the work

    thanks for the answer on split screen, it took me back to when i was a younger guy doing some really good and wacky work with photography, nobody could ever believe it was all on one frame and not digitilised, i still believe the old and actual ways have the best results so nice one

    its great u take the time to get back to me

    even though u do it for many people it makes me feel we have a special understanding, that we are friends, so thanks

    I will check out the new one and let u know what i think

    I am hoping it is different as once an artist has produced something that was different several times, the new work of the same kind can loose its impact with the same audience, what was heralded as new, shocking, different becomes the norm

    which is the hardest thing for any conceptualising artist to deal with but also the spur to keep on moving, evolving, innovating and creating something new

    For me, just because it may be the same that used to be different doesn't devalue the work, if anything it confirms the skill of the artist but i love change and moving on and new things so i am excited

    will let u know

    thanks again Missy

    take care

    Oli x



    Oli, no problems getting back to you. I was taught good manners never go out of style. You take time to write, I make the time to answer. It is what should happen, although it should happen a lot quicker than it does.

    There were some very powerful thoughts in your e-mail below:

     "once an artist has produced something that was different several times, the new work of the same kind can loose its impact with the same audience, what was heralded as new, shocking, different becomes the norm"

    This is something of which I am keenly aware. Repeating oneself is the greatest fear I have, but interestingly, it is what the vast majority of people want. For example, 1st Orgasm now has 150,000 views - and people are always asking for more like that. 2nd Orgasm. 3 rd Orgasm. This is how really bad movie franchises start. And if I ever give in to that need, it will be the death of this project and me as an artist.

    There is hopefully a strong handwriting of creativity, risk taking and boundary pushing with each video - but not neccessarily in a porn sense, otherwise it just becomes porn, but in the sense of never pandering to the audience with what works, with what gets the numbers. 

    If people want a template approach to erotica, they have come to the wrong place. Interestingly, I know I could do a video that would get 2 million views on Vimeo, and I could do that video tomorrow. I would just give people what they want, and strip out all the annoying thinking that I make people do. Let's face it, not many people want their porn wrapped in pyscho-analysis and documentary reporting. But approximately 20,000 do, because that is what each video averages - and I would much rather 20,000 people like you with class and intelligence than 2 million people looking for their next porn hit.

    Thank you for bringing your intelligence and analysis to the project. It is greatly appreciated! :) 

    Missy x




    1. Missy Jubilee.Swooon. 001.jpg

    Jesse Louis

    i wonder what you shoot with and what those light filters and tricks are that you use...

    no need to share your secrets.

    ALSO: you might enjoy listening to the music on kcrw.com. it's one of our local public radio stations in LA. you can listen to the stream.

    a song that i heard this morning reminded me of your films -
    "don't stop the dance" by bryan ferry (todd terje remix)

    ch-ch-check it


    Jesse, firstly, apologies for taking so long to get back to you. The inbox is a little backed up at the moment, but I do answer every communication. Eventually :)

    Secondly, thank you for your kind compliment, and thank you for seeing the subtlety and technical aspects of the films - which 80% of people miss.

    With regard to the light filters and 'tricks' (I prefer the word techniques, but that sounds very pompous - so I'll go with tricks :) ) my husband is quite a well known cinematographer, so he has a BIG bag of tricks. If there is any particular effect you're curious about, please let me know, and I can get Max to break it down for you so you can practice it. It's all pretty simple once you know how to do it, and nothing we do is rocket science - it's just knowing the cameras we use back to front technically and knowing what they can do when pushed beyond their factory limits.

    With regard to KCRW - big big fan. Listen to their podcasts all the time while editing, and get a lot of very cool new music from them. You have good taste!

    And yes I love that remix of Mr Ferry's classic.

    Missy x



    • Tania Rose Haimon

      I love your work Missy.... my boyfriend tuned me into you and i'm so glad... truly inspirational creative edgy erotica... just what i have been looking for to inspire my own journey to reclaim and explore my own mysteriously wild sexual creature going on. thank you!


      Thank you kindly Tania. And I love your photo - such strength, resolve, vulnerability, resolution, beauty, grace, sadness - all in one photo. I appreciate your thoughts, especially you being a woman, since most of my most enthusiastic haters are women. And if I have inspired you, then the virtuous circle continues, since someone once inspired me to do what I'm doing. But the best/greatest lesson that person gave me was - don't do for other people, and don't care what other people think, since 92% of people don't think. If you're going to do it for anyone else but yourself, do it for the 8% who are capable of insight, thought, debate or awareness. But in the end, it's all just a bunch of words. I hope you go out and create what has never existed before, and that you keep doing that until you find your limits, which will hopefully be never. Thank you for your kind words :) Missy x